Do people expect food after dinner at wedding?

[Budka]

Ceremony is at 1:45 pm. We are serving very filling canapés and cocktails at 3:30pm and dinner at 5:30pm. There will be the actual cake, a homemade cake table, hydration station and a snack table. The wedding ends at midnight. The meal itself is A LOT, we are doing a sit down buffet (think Las Vegas buffet).

I've seen trends where a pizza/burger van turns up as guests are leaving.

Would you as a guest expect more food after dinner?

I personally wouldn’t. I do feel people get weird at weddings re good where they almost expect to be fed and watered on the hour, every hour. But in everyday life you would probably be happy with eating far less (I do appreciate dancing, drinking causes hunger).

But would you expect to be given more food after dinner and cake?

My sister thinks we should order a load of pizza to send people away with.

i dunno i find the idea a bit ott. We are serving a lot of food. People are not those bottomless pits! But I obviously wouldn’t want people to actually be hungry.

Sounds great, but factor in that they won’t necessarily be to everyone’s taste or dietary requirement and lots of people decline canapés due to messiness and nice clothing.

Most people will pick up a sarnie from a petrol station, surely? The wedding is at 1:45.

its adults only. The adults know the order of events.

If people choose to miss lunch that’s on them and if don’t provision appropriately there’s not too much I can do 🤷‍♀️.

I can’t plan a wedding based on people doing the bare minimum re looking after themselves

My friend once went to a wedding where after a huge lavish reception last last thing they had burgers sausages and nuggets and sandwiches, she said everyone was thrilled!

Wearing their finest clothing pre wedding and scared of getting messy, nope!

If your guests are hungry, it will be literally the only thing they remember about your wedding.

The venue rejected the food truck. They are very precious with their list of approved vendors.

I am emailing with the caterers to see what they think is best ie bulk out the snack table (which will be brought out a later in the evening) or bring out pizza/burgers.

I have very easily managed to eat a ham sandwich from the bp in all my finery before without making a mess.

Anyone ever like you enough to invite you to their wedding?

Precisely

but I struggle to see how anyone is going to be hungry after bulky canapés, a MAMMOTH buffet (my sister and mum couldn’t even try all the dishes that are going to be served at the testing due to the sheer quantity) PLUS a snack table with cheese/charcuterie and homemade cakes. AND cake. Like come on now. How much food is it even physically possible to eat?

i should note it’s a buffet that is being brought to each table so there is no risk of some tables being left with nothing.

The gluttony is weirding me out.

But were you going to such an esteemed venue?

I agree Jellycatspyjamas. I'm also in Scotland and for every wedding I have worked at there was always a "Second Tea" consisting of sandwiches, tea/coffee and wedding cake later in the evening after a sit down dinner. Nowadays it's often bacon rolls, pizza etc. Was always considered "tight" not to provide food later in the evening and it would be considered to be very rude not to!

Absolutely. The thing with canapés and a buffet is that there are always people who take more than their allocated amount, people who don’t like what’s on offer and people who are at the tail end of things and don’t get enough. I’d be absolutely mortified if guests were hungry at an event I was running, never mind a wedding. I don’t understand people who put so much thought and expense into things before the evening “do” and don’t feed people in the evening after they’ve been drinking and dancing. A typical wedding meal ends around 7, to go from then til midnight or later without offering a supper is tight.

Over on the “worst things at weddings” thread the most common comment is about food - too little, badly timed, unevenly spread. If people go hungry it’s the thing they’ll remember above all else. Better to over cater and have left over food - my wedding was many years ago now but I remember left over cake and bacon rolls being distributed amongst the homeless population of Glasgow after guests had their fill.

As functioning adults, getting ready for a lunchtime wedding, we would usually grab a sandwich-type meal deal somewhere en route and/or stick a couple of emergency quaker porridge oats bars in pockets/bag to avoid hanging around starving. There’s always a ton of waiting around at weddings and if the timings have been provided in advance, it would be ridiculous on our part to fail to eat anything beforehand! We don’t expect a non-stop food-orgy to be provided all day and night long at someone else’s expense! Providing a cake and snack station is perfectly acceptable and if some guests are going to slope off early for fast food, I’d venture to say they’re probably no loss at that point in the proceedings.

So you’ve gone from, ‘Am I feeding my guests enough?’ to ‘They should be feeding themselves before they come’. Ok. Looks like you’ve decided. Most people won’t have lunch because they’ll be expecting lots of food at the wedding. Also, if your husband is Jamaican, I imagine some of your guests will be too? They usually place a lot of emphasis on feeding guests. You may be garnering disappointment

You’ve asked for opinions, you’ve said your sister (who couldn’t finish the canapés) has said you need pizzas in the evening.
Why didn’t you just say you wanted us to agree with you rather than offer (in my case a professional) opinion?

Hardly. People just keep bringing up these “what if”scenarios. What if a guest forgets they need food to sustain themselve, what if they are too busy chatting to eat the canapés etc.

Like I can’t cover for every bloody eventuality. I’m doing my best to be a generous and good host (free bar, no evening only guests, free transportation, entertainment, receipt of order of events well in advance etc). If people suddenly stop knowing how to look after themselves there’s not much I can do.

🤷‍♀️

It’s not about gluttony. Your guests will have got themselves ready for your wedding, travelled to the venue over lunchtime, hung around while photos are happening, sat through speeches, socialised with people they don’t know, been drinking and dancing and been on the go for over 12 hours by the time your day ends.

It’s a long day for you, it’s also a long day for them. You could bulk out your “snack” table and bring it out around 9ish or whenever the band has a break but some folk will look for something a bit more substantial than cheese and charcuterie towards the end of a long day.

Okay, now you've shown the photo of what you mean by canapes (which look absolutely lovely), and you've said you are providing 6 each, then I think over the course of the day you probably are providing enough food.

6 "canapes" like those you've pictured would be the equivalent of a meal (unlike any canapes I've ever had at a wedding - or anywhere else- , so I'm presuming lots of people are not imagining anything like that when you use the word 'canape', which to me suggests something you can pop in your mouth whole, or at most, 2 bites).

So the issue is how and when you are spreading the food out.
If I ate 6 of those lovely looking things at 3.30, then I would struggle to eat a full meal at 5.30.
I'm one of the posters who previously said you needed to feed your guests earlier - I've now moved to later.

The problem is, not the amount of food, but the distribution of when the food is served.
Most people's digestion would struggle with
eating 2 meals 2 hours apart, but then nothing for the next 7 hours.

At most weddings I have been to many guests find the gap between the ceremony and the meal too long, the hanging around whilst photos are taken, It's not necessarily about the food. I know you have put on entertainment, but most people would want a shorter time.

Filling canapé - is an oxymoron

It’s not about covering every possibility, it’s recognising that your guests have different needs and wedding behaviour is largely predictable because however unique you might thing you are, the day is formulaic. Recent wedding, incredibly generous hosts but canapés didn’t reach a lot of the guests for one reason and another, guests were ready to eat the table by the time the meal arrived. Pizza at 9.30 was very welcome because guests had been in their feet for most of the afternoon/evening.

Op, I’d love to know what kind of food is planned for the main. I know it’s a buffet but wondering how it differs from the big canapés and the snack table - think I read falafel and samosas etc for that? Food sounds lovely btw! We went quite different for our evening food: fish and chips compared to our quite pretentious dinner tbh!

How long should a drinks reception be?

Every wedding I have been to it has been 60/90/120 mins.

I’ve allocated two hours just in case something goes wrong with traffic. Im assuming it will end up being around 90 mins.

I personally think the drinks reception is the best bit. It gives us time to mingle with our guests and just relax after the ceremony. Obviously a good opportunity to take pics too.

I've been to a reception where they had cheeses and breads.

I’d consider swapping the free bar for more evening food.
Also how will the venue tours work? Surely people will be missing when they are required in photos or missing when you want their bum on a seat to commence the buffet. Sounds like a logistical nightmare unless you’ve only a handful of guests.