To think some people found lockdown really hard and it wasn't their fault

[elliejjtiny]

I don't normally think about this, it's something horrible that happened but it's over for us for the most part thank goodness (I appreciate there are people who are still struggling a lot).

It's that time of year so some people are saying 5 years ago we were doing xyz for the last time etc. Mil was going on about how great she found lockdown. Not a lot changed for her and FIL as they don't go out much and they are retired. Meanwhile I had 5 dc with SEN, one of whom licks everything and for us life changed dramatically for the worse. I was saying that it was nice that MIL enjoyed lockdown but for us it was extremely hard. She told me it was my fault and it would have been fun for us too if I had been more organised.

IMO for some people lockdown was awful.

Enjoyed lockdown and I definitely don’t have a small and limited life!

Yanbu I can understand how it would effect people so much and still can have that effect. For me it wasn't bad, my son could still go to nursery 2 days a week while I worked (he had just turned 2) and our days off together were always spent in the outdoors which really helped my mental health. I struggle badly with anxiety so being able to stay in and use the garden and only leave the house for fresh air and walks was lovely for me and really healing. My son still had interaction too. I did have to witness the siffering first hand working on the front line though and that has stuck with me

It was awful for a lot of people and it's best to be sensitive to that if you didn't find it hard. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to think why it was difficult.

I really struggled with the lockdowns. I was stuck at home on my own... I only really got through it in the end because I broke the rules and went to a friend's house (who was also alone). He saved my life.

Actually I do remember the parks opening. Then there was that endless rainy weather so maybe that's why I didn't appreciate it as much as I could have.

We quite enjoyed it, the slower pace of life and things, and the working from home. But we had all the good things without too many of the bad- we missed a planned trip abroad but noone got sick or died that we knew and we could still work. Husband is a key worker so our son could still go to nursery.

I'd never blame anyone for having had a bad time of it though- your MIL is being unfair- I was aware how scary and overwhelming it was for many in different circumstances.

Sometimes people do just want a race to the bottom, I'd ignore your MIL.

DH is CEV so we had to shield. Thankfully his job had already moved to WFH a few months before. I was due to go back to work from maternity leave a week after we first locked down. However having seen what was happening in Italy I handed my notice in. For 24 hours a day 7 days a week we were all stuck inside. Poor DH saw no further than our tiny back garden for six months. When we could finally get out I would only take DD to the park when it was pissing it down with rain to guarantee we could have it to ourselves.

However thankfully we lived on the coast so we would all walk there when it was wet and windy once DH was allowed out. I am also thankful that I never had to homeschool, financially we were ok on one wage and we were all safe. I don't think we would have had a second child the year after had we not been shielding.

It was probably on the whole, easier for those without children. I retired at the start of lockdown, DH worked 4 days a week from home so it was fairly easy for us if a bit boring.

I didn’t feel lockdowns were hell.
Thats because my life didn’t change that much. I was close to housebound before. My routine was the same during and after.

It did change the way I look at people
Not people like the OP. Women in abusive relationship stuck in with their abusers. Not the nurses and doctors working in ICU.
But the general public complaining that it was so hard and unbearable. Same people who would tell me to just get on with it before the lockdowns if I dare saying being housebound is hard,
And usually same people who nowadays snigger at me wearing a mask (never mind I’m ill, therefore vulnerable etc….)

I think it did show human nature. It’s good sides and it’s very bad sides too.

(Also fully agree that Johnson was appalling and many lives could have been saved)

I worked all through lockdown, l was jealous of people who were staying at home. Covid didn't really effect me in any way, my Dp was also working, and we had no children at home. I never understood why people just stayed at home.

People are still peddling this shit? Telling people who really suffered during lockdown that if they had obeyed better, then our death toll would have been lower?

So it was nothing to do with the appalling handling of the pandemic by politicians who were like rabbits caught in headlights because they had failed to prepare properly, failed to understand that "the science" isn't actually a thing, who stood on a lectern every night dolefully updating us every evening while not actually having a clue what was happening themselves, who failed to heed the warnings that isolating vulnerable people and children could result in some pretty awful things happening to them, failed to grasp the fact that shutting down the health service would mean storing up problems down the line. You don't think it had anything to do with the fact that we have an aging population, or that many of our population live in cramped unsuitable housing, and you don't think it had anything to do with the fact that lack of government action for years has meant large numbers of our population are incredibly unhealthy and catastrophically overweight?

Oh no, it was because we didn't stay inside enough.

Christ, that post has brought all the rage back.

It was awful for me. I lived in a flat 200 miles away from my family and had a 3 month old baby. Although I'm glad that DC was too little to need socialisation or to understand what was happening, it was a desolate and lonely time. Noone is ever going to give my mum back those 6 months of her grandson's life.

I graduated in summer 2019. Looking back it was like a black hole. I moved in with my parents after uni but was stuck in an abusive situation. I’d normally get respite by going to work and seeing friends - ie being physically out of the house. Instead I was stuck in a tense living situation until I could afford to escape during lockdown. Being at home was not comforting. My career was basically on hold too, it was an awkward time to start a new job.

During lockdown I then rented alone and instead of being able to have a normal experience it was full of awkwardness, ie not being able to view properties (virtual viewings instead), couldn’t buy/see furniture in person; furniture deliveries couldn’t be taken inside; social bubbles and essentially being completely alone.

Now the pandemic is over, it’s like society expects people my age (20s) to be well-adjusted and grown up whereas I still feel like I’m making up for lost time! I can confidently say older people who are settled/home owners/higher income would have had a considerably easier time of lockdown.

🤣🤣 yes because Boris telling us it was perfectly OK for me to spend 40 hours a week in a cramped office with 30 other people, but illegal for me to have a cup of tea with my mother was totally logical and covid would have been over much sooner if I'd just stuck to the overcrowded office but no personal socialising 🫠

I loved lockdown.
I lived in a 1st floor flat with my 2 year-old, just us two.
It sucked that it was so warm and sunny and we didn’t have a garden, we were only allowed “outside” for 1 hour a day then.
But it was 11 weeks with just me and my daughter that I’d never have experienced otherwise (I worked full time before and after lockdown).
It was the autumn of 2020 my family struggled as my Dad was hospitalised in an induced coma with Covid and we were told to prepare to come and say our goodbyes. Only two of the family were allowed in to say goodbye. While we all sobbed and decided which two of us it would be, we received another call saying “never mind, he’s turned a corner…”. That was stressful.

I became agoraphobic [again] for 3 months, and had a mental breakdown. I don’t know how I didn’t off myself. I got lucky with my G.P. over the phone one day, when she realised I hadn’t eaten in days and couldn’t remember why I’d phoned. I say ‘lucky’ - she turned up on my doorstep 15 minutes later, it was mortifying and involved me taking diazepam and the threat of police being called for me to open the door 😳 Fucking horrendous time. It took a couple more months to be vaguely functional again 😒

Of course lots of people found lockdown really hard! It involved throwing some people under the bus to protect others, for starters. But aside from that, the experience varied so much depending on circumstances, personality, privilege and just plain luck.

I was working on COVID wards during lockdown. I find it really disjointing when everyone talks about lockdown - good or bad - because it just didn’t happen for me, and I have no frame of reference for what it must feel like to get to stay at home like that.

Lockdowns were disastrous for the 3 million self employed/freelancers who were excluded from the support schemes, and partly responsible for the sheer number of small business closures we've seen in the past five years.

On a personal level, it was disastrous for MIL who was managing to live an independent life until the start of 2020, despite early stage dementia, she was still looking after herself, living in her own home, going shopping, doing her own banking, booking her own hair do's, etc. When the World shut down and she couldn't do any of that, she deteriorated rapidly and by the time things had started opening up again, she'd lost her "muscle memory" and couldn't even work out a bus timetable or where to get on a bus, let alone work out how to deal with paying bills or even where and how to get her hair done. It was frightening to see the deterioration in just a few months. Clearly prior to covid, she was working on "muscle memory" to stay able to stick with a routine, but once the routine was broken, she completely fell apart. Never caught a bus again, never went to the hairdressers again, never went shopping on her own again. By the end of 2020, she was a shadow of her formal self.

Everybody had such different experiences of and reactions to lockdown.

I am single and childfree and I found it really lonely. Particular the early days before bubbles were introduced.

I also lost count of the amount of people who suddenly thought it was okay to comment on the fact that I didn’t have children and therefore how easy my experience of lockdown was compared to theirs!

There seemed to be a lot of silly competitiveness about who was having the worst time.

I was single and living alone like now, I hated lockdown as it was so boring. Go to work in a mask, socially distance if possible, come home to nothing. I put on 2 stone that I've struggled to lose.

That's a real shame, because your experience was as much a part of lockdown as anyone else's. There were millions of people who were out of the house working, and if that hadn't happened then lockdown couldn't have either.

As for "luck", yes, huge numbers of self employed and freelancers were excluded from covid support due to nothing more than bad luck because of the different random criteria used to determine eligibility none of which made any sense at all. Must have been the tea boy in the Treasury who dreamt up the criteria and exclusions because they were complete nonsense.

Start a business on the wrong day - tough, you're excluded.
Took a pension lump sum payout a couple of years earlier - though you're excluded.
Moved from employment to self employed half way through the year before - tough you're excluded.
Weren't paid a wage in Feb 20, but there's steady history of wages being paid by your limited company, going back years - tough you're excluded.
Earned £50,001 in profit from your self employment two years before - tough you're excluded, whereas someone earning £49,999 that same year got about £30k in support grants!

They may as well have used a random number generator to pick who got support and who didn't!

Lockdowns were disastrous for the 3 million self employed/freelancers who were excluded from the support schemes,

That’s not true.
Self employed people received support from the government in proportion to their earnings.
Those who ‘lost out’ were those who has a Ltd company, paid themselves the minimum and had the rest as earnings from the company.