Am I being mean ?

[TheThreeMiracles]

I've just asked dp if I could borrow some money out of his savings until Monday when I get paid to get some gaviscon, I think I may have heartburn but never had it in my other pregnancies, he asked me why I needed it ( didn't like being questioned but nevermind ) he then said yes but moments later came in with..........

My son's infant gaviscon he had as a baby ! The sachets made for babies ! Really proudly " here you go we don't need to buy some we have these "

AIBU to think what a thick idiot he is today 🫣

I think you have more pressing concerns of why you don’t have access to even a few pound of cash.

You’re pregnant and having to “borrow” money from your DP for some medication?

I think heartburn is probably the least of your issues.

Why isn't your money pooled? I've never borrowed money from my husband because our finances are joint.

Why are you living like this and having a baby if you don't have access to shared finances?

Money isn't usually an issue we've had 2 mots this month both cars needed work plus a smashed window, I get paid Monday, he has savings to fall back on which we use if we need to then pay back into x

Money is pooled, both wages go into joint bank account he has an account separate for his savings x

Tight git.

I agree. What is going on your finances, surely anything pregnacy related is a joint or family expense. For us anything medical would come from the joint account but even if the joint account was empty DH would never leave me in pain or discomfort. I wouldn’t leave any pregnant women withoyt gaviscon if I knew they needed it and couldn’t afford it.

Given that he contributed 50% to the pregnancy, I'm sure he can stretch himself to a bottle of gaviscon. Then maybe throw this one back to the bottom of the barrel where he must have come from.

He's just said he didn't realise they were infant gaviscon!! Just frustrating having to explain myself and then feel like I've had to explain why I can't use the infant ones x

What a disrespectful way to treat the women who is having your baby. Bloody hell. I’d honestly leave, he sounds abusive. Can’t you see it?

Separate savings? Why? Fenced off from you?

Why has he got savings and you don't have enough left for buying a bottle of gaviscon.

I'm sorry but to me that's almost abusive. I can't think ever of a situation where I wasn't feeling well and DH would behave like that. I'm a sahm and I've never ever had to plead with my husband for money

Savings are often in one persons names and if they are ISAs etc

i get the impression they are both lacking funds if savings need to be breached and he came up with what he thought was a good solution but isn’t

OP he tried to make a solution it didn’t work

Why is your thread titled 'Am I being mean'? Do you think that you are?

So were you asking him to take money from his savings account for gaviscon? Do you not have any money in the joint current acc?

We would have money in there usually but with both mots and my window needing replacing, it's only a few days until money will go into it so not too bad and usually there's money there, I just felt annoyed he asked why I needed to borrow and then tried to make out like we already had some when he can't even be bothered to check it's for infants it feels like lack of care, I wasn't asking for hundreds I asked for £10 so not breaking the bank, and would have given it straight back Monday morning x

you prefer to 'previous pregnancies' - so you've had more than one child already with this financially controlling twat who salts away money into his private savings while you are unable to afford medication & basic necessities?
And you seem to think him having money for his personal savings in this situation is perfectly normal???

Possibly besides the point but I’m struggling to understand why the unexpected car repairs didn’t come out of savings rather than leaving the joint account empty? Surely that’s part of the purpose of having savings?

He got me gaviscon in with the shopping today, it's the questioning I can't stand

Leaving aside your questionable financial situation- I don't think he was unreasonable.
Someone says, I need to buy x it's pretty reasonable to say, 'oh, we already have some of that, here it is' he made a mistake as to if it was suitable but this part seems like a massive non issue to me.
Far more concerning that he has savings that are somehow separate to your joint lives. Did he come into the relationship with them, is that why they are being held separately?

£10 so not breaking the bank, and would have given it straight back Monday morning x

So he not only questioned you about it but he'd expect it to be paid back? £10 for medication and he'd expect it back - fuck me!!

Why do you have this ask for money? Ps if u have to ask, you don't have money, your DH does.
And to question you over a tenner. You have far bigger problems then heartburn. Far bigger.

He's really done a job on you if you cannot see what's going on. You have left yourself in a very vulnerable position and don't even see it?

Dh and I have separate savings accounts and also some joint ones both current and savings - don’t see how that is so unusual.
i don’t know what’s in his and vice versa.

Sounds though like you’ve had a rough financial month and like he was being a pillock. I really hope that he just transferred a chunk of money into the joint account. What happens if you need something else tomorrow? I’d not want to be at the mercy of such a tightfisted man.