To feel this is just torturous?

[OffWorkandWorried]

I’m currently off work with anxiety/depression (work related). I’ve got 20 weeks left paid and then I’ll default to SSP (which I can’t afford to be on, so I need to sort something job wise before that point)
I need to leave my job because the moment I go back off sick leave, I’ll be on a PIP and then managed out/dismissed.

I apply for about 20-30 jobs a day. Anything and everything which matches my skills and which I could afford to do (ie the salary would cover my outgoings). I’m getting nowhere - and even when I wasn’t off sick, I was still getting knock backs. Occasionally I get shortlisted for interviews and usually get a rejection on the basis that another candidate just pipped me to the post (usually an internal candidate). I’m never given any other useful feedback aside from that.

I had an interview this week and I am fairly sure there were two internal candidates. The interview felt like a box ticking exercise tbh.

If I was dismissed, and had to apply for UC etc, I’d lose my flat - it wouldn’t cover my rent. I feel like I am fighting against the tide and every job applications feels like I am fighting for my life.

No idea what I would do tbh. I can’t stay with my family / friends so…where would that leave me?

It just feels like a slog. Mainly posting for traffic, sorry.

Could you work out the minimum amount you need to live on and try to get a lower grade of job just to cover the minimum until you can secure a position more suitable for you? There are often jobs available in retail, cleaning, delivery drivers etc.

The minimum amount I need to get by is about 35K (I live alone and I’m in the SE). I know this seems incredibly steep but my rent is £££££. I did try to move somewhere cheaper (into a house share) but needed about 2K in deposit and moving costs, which I don’t have. My rent is my main cost, but my energy and CTax come to about £400 all in too. So, my costs before I even think about my phone bill, paying of debts, is about 1700. I also have a loan I am paying back.
I don’t drive which doesn’t help. I am terrified about what’s going to happen to me.

Is there anyone who can help you to loan the deposit for a move ? You should get security deposit back on your current home and you can repay them

No one can lend me the deposit but I don’t think I’d pass referencing now anyway?

My LL is…unreasonable and I think it’s going to be a battle to get the full deposit back. It’s protected with the DBS scheme but I’ve been burnt before.

sorry I realise I sound defeatist. I have very little resilience or optimism currently.

Have you tried applying for new style ESA?

I haven’t as I’m still working. Or, earning, anyway. I put in my details into the turn to us website (including my rent) and the amount it came out with may or may not have included ESA but it didn’t cover my rent - it was about £890

If you're well enough to apply for work while off sick, could you find a way to go back to your existing job? Are you seeing a counsellor or psychologist?

Try to focus on the immediate future only, and not worry about what might happen months from now. Take one step at a time. You currently have a job, but are too ill to work. Your best plan is to get well enough to go back to your existing job or to a less stressful role in the same company. If that's not possible, is it appropriate to consider making a case for constructive dismissal?

If your ONLY way forward is to find another job elsewhere, then maybe stop job hunting for a while and instead take some time to get healthier, happier, and more resilient. Pause. Rest. Do things that bring you joy. Visit old friends. Let your nervous system recalibrate and recover. It will probably make you a much better candidate and greatly improve your chances of being successful in finding another job.

20 weeks left being fully paid is almost five months...

How do you know you’ll go on a PIP if you go back? Is this something that’s definite or speculation?

Are you sure you can’t claim rent help ?
Go on a site like turn2us and use their benefit calculator.

Thanks for this. I can’t go back because I’ll immediately be put on a PIP, and managed out. The former has been formally confirmed but the latter informally confirmed by my Manager. So in short, going back to my job/employer is a total no go. I’ve been in touch with my Union about this and they’ve been extremely helpful.

I am in counselling- it is helpful. Not so much for the anxiety side because the thing I’m anxious about (losing my job) is a very real possibility.

I am trying to focus on recovery because I’m clearly really unwell - it took my union rep pointing this out for me to really realise it, ironically!

Definite. Manager confirmed it in a keep in touch call last week.

Sorry for not reading your thread properly I’ve Just seen you have used a benefit calculator.

This is what I used and the UC calculation didn’t take into account or cover my rent.

I know this but I am concerned that I still won’t be able to find something. I’ve been applying for other work for years (not hyperbole) and haven’t gotten anywhere. I do get interviews but just not further.

But OP you're signed off sick. Too sick to work. Surely to be successful in an application you need to be fit to work.

And maybe you might not be for the next 20 weeks. Then what?

What sort of work are you looking for OP? And what is it about your existing role that’s caused you to be off sick? Maybe looking at this will help consider other roles you might be able to go for.

I think in your circumstances I'd look for work in a different part of the country. Where it is not as expensive as SE and where property to rent might be easier to find and a little cheaper also. There is no reason you shouldn't get your deposit back if it's in the protection scheme, unless you have done something wrong.

A change of scene might help your health also, although I do realise that moving is stressful. Do you have major ties to the area you are in now?

Is your current job a cause of stress, and/or the type of work you do adding to that? Maybe change the type of work you do even in the short term. Step by step and something will work out for you.

I do have current ties to where I am, sadly (or not sadly). I am in Surrey but I am looking as far as the midlands and the West Country.

So my note covers a month period and then gets renewed. This has happened once already.

It’s entirely work based stress for me being off - I do have depression but my job has significantly impacted it. It’s not the work as much as management and the culture.

Sorry re job; it’s not the type of work, I can do that with my eyes closed - it’s management/toxic culture

I work in a regulated sector so I’ve been looking in said sector but also outside it with anything I can transfer my skills to (business/op management)

Well exactly. Then what? I’d be in the same situation as if I was dismissed.

Maybe speak to CAB or CAP.
They might be able to help with debt management plans or long-term budgeting. CAB might also have additional advice with your current employer.