Partner putting the art back on the wall after I removed it

[Illprobsregretthis]

Partner and I are moving house in a week. We have a 7 month old and a 2.5 year old. I have pretty much done all the packing myself - partner has this frustrating attitude of “it will get done”…

Anyway I removed all the art from the walls this evening and he’s come home from work and said why did I do that, he’s just going to put it all back up???

He said it takes 30 seconds what’s the point, and that having the art keeps the flat looking nice… The point is it’s the accumulation of 1,0000000 things that “only take” 30 seconds, 5 minutes, etc. it’s knowing we are done and we can just leave the house and not have loads of shit to do on what will already be a very busy day… please remember we have 2 children under 3.

I know it’s a stressful time - esp for us, moving home and having a baby and a toddler, but AIBU to think he’s being absolutely ridiculous here??

I am planning to marry him next year and he is usually really reasonable but sometimes he gets a bee in his bonnet about something like this and I just don’t understand it, at all.

YABU - keep the art up, it takes 30 seconds to remove and looks nice
YANBU - it’s one more thing to do on what will already be a ridiculously stressful day

He’s being a twat.

Its all well and good posters saying leave it to him to do the day before but we know that you’ll have done most of it by then and then be stressing trying to help him get it done on the last day.

As a PP said, if he’s packing his stuff on the last day, then it’ll be you doing all of the rest of the work.

You are moving really soon and anything that’s not needed should be packed away asap.

I do wonder if this is part of a bigger picture though.
Is he struggling with the idea of moving and burying his head in the sand?

Why are you taking the role of his mother?

Leave it up. If he's too 'busy' to pack,it on moving day, leave it behind. Remind him regularly that it's his fault. Good luck in your new home😀

Well he isnt a go with the flow type of guy is he, as that kind of guy would be happy with however you'd decided to do it. He sounds like the worst type of guy, the type of guy who is happy for his partner to do his share as well as their share of jobs, and not lift a finger to help, but happy to criticise how it's been done and offer unhelpful suggestions to someone who out of necessity, has it all in hand

He does tax free childcare, all of the washing, toddler bedtime, car admin and all the driving, and loads of other things I either don’t have the desire or the time to do. Is he being MY mother?? Life is a lot more nuanced than anyone can describe on a social media thread. I can do a lot of the life admin but also still love and admire a lovely kind man I plan to marry! It’s all fine - no need to worry x

The bottom line for me is how are you transporting it. If it needs packing it should be done now, if it’s just going to be moved as is, leave it on the wall so it’s safer till moving day.

Hmm, I wouldn’t pack food or paintings a week before the move either. I like to keep my home feeling like a home for as long as possible so would prioritise differently and pack the non-edible and hidden objects first. Doesn’t mean your way is wrong, it’s just not how everyone would do it.

What on earth is tax free childcare?

Assume the children are both yours and you look after them? Must say I've never described myself as doing tax free childcare:)

You and you dh need to communicate more tbh. ' Right what shall we pack so not to be stressed on the day or of one of us/ a child is unwell' might focus him a bit

Yeah so I think this is how he feels! But to me it just feels so unnecessary. Interesting to hear your perspective

Haha I mean the tax free childcare system where you get 2K towards your nursery fees - he deals with all the faff with HMRC etc. Do you call it something else?

My partner had the “it will get done” attitude before moving and on the day he had to run to the supermarket for boxes (“where are all the boxes?” He asked me. “Ummm…. Full of our stuff, I’ve been packing for weeks!?”) to stuff all the crap off his desk/shelves before dismantling his office furniture on the day. Had the same thing with not being allowed to pack the food up and he filled carrier bags with it. Was like watching supermarket sweep! He was so stressed, which made it even more annoying cos it was all avoidable with the smallest amount of foresight. I was sat in the car waiting with a bored 18 month old for an hour while he finished chaotically chucking his belongings in bags before we could go. This was five years ago and I still get pissed off when I think about it!

Your way is not the only way or the right way. DP will give up if you have to micromanage.

I would shrug and let him get on with it. He's being an arse 🙄 He's going to have a lot to do on moving day!

Right but - never mentioning it / communicating his intentions in any capacity then getting annoyed when I’ve done something he doesn’t like, when he knew I was packing today? Also not ideal or the “right” way

If my husband undid work I’d already done when I was near the end of my tether, I’d cry.

“Where are all the boxes” - a truly infuriating question! This whole situation sounds like what’s likely to happen here, especially the carrier bag part. Stressful!!

You said he does tax free childcare.
I didn't know what you meant by he does it.

Oh right, yeah I just meant the admin involved with paying for childcare.

It's currently bubble-wrapped. Try not to worry too much.

Oh dear… yes people go insane while packing for a move. I’m guilty of it. “But what if we need Auntie Mabel’s sugar bowl that we haven’t touched in the last 10 years between now and the move!”

Just crack on and make note of it to take the piss out of him after you’re settled.

Oh Darling! Please make sure the priceless art is hung up straight away… never mind beds or clothes.

Oh thank goodness the art is here! Quick make sure it’s all hung… what would anyone think without arrrrrrtttttt on our walls.

Oh Jesus fucking Christ. 😫

Thanks babe, constructive, helpful, patronising: everything one expects from a Mumsnet post x

Packing and moving with children takes so much longer than you’d expect.

Has he got time off next week to pack the house up or does he think it can be done in a few hours on the day?

Ignore the JFC remark, that's just bloody rude and unnecessary.

however, my impression reading your latest post .....Why are you enabling his incompetence though, instructing a grown adult how to do grown adult tasks. I think you may be creating a rod for your own back there!

Re the wall art, it probably falls into the category "pick your battles". If you have 10 picture that take 30 seconds to remove, then he can allow 10 mins to get them down and load them. If they were favourites, I'd be wanting to wrap them in paper to protect them from scratches and dirt, but if you aren't precious about it, then probably best to let it go.

he sounds quite dismissive and goady, bah it only takes 30 seconds, when moving house is stressful enough without someone there creating a needless drag on your mental load. Doesn't sound like he want to work as a team ....

When we moved we carefully packed our art pieces in bubble wrap to prevent them getting damaged. It wasn't a five minute job. He's being daft.