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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In-laws letting Baby watch tv

130 replies

Gwjb2024 · 07/03/2025 16:55

I have a 14wk old. I try not to have the TV on around him as I’m worried how it will impact his brain development while he’s so little. That’s not to say he’ll never be aloud to watch TV. I’m very much looking forward to snuggly movie nights when he’s older but for now I don’t like him looking at it. We’re currently at the in-laws - who are well aware of my stance- and they keep putting him in front of the tv. We were playing in the lounge and he was sat watching so I turned the tv off - no one was watching it. MIL stated ‘ you just need to accept that the tv will be on when he comes to grandma and grandads’
i wasn’t sure what to say so I laughed awkwardly. Am I being ridiculous? How would you approach this or do I just accept that he might be stuck infront of it more than I would like while we’re here?

OP posts:
MsVisual · 07/03/2025 20:25

Don't worry, by the time you are on your third child you'll be plonking them in front of the TV with a packet of crisps by month 3 so you can sneak off to the kitchen for a good slug of gin

By child 5, the eldest will be in charge and will dictate who watches what while you sit in the garden swigging from a bottle of vodka and smoking Benson & Hedges

elm26 · 07/03/2025 20:25

hydriotaphia · 07/03/2025 17:17

I am exactly like you OP regarding tv around babies/toddlers. There is research that supports the idea that ambient tv/radio noise stops babies being able to focus on talking in the room and hence impedes their language development, so I do not think you are being in the least bit ridiculous in taking this appraoch. I think it is fine to ask to have it off, perhaps your DH can explain it is important to you. If they are resistant for the sake of a quiet life I'd let it go. A bit of tv noise will not do too much harm, it's more valuable for you/the baby to have a good relationship with them.

I really don't get the whole speech argument for screen time.

DD is 2 in May and I've had the TV on in the background since day 1. I never actively sat her in front of it.

Now she's older she loves Miss Rachel. Her speech is brilliant, she can count to 20, she says sentences now for example "daddy in car at work", we read together every day and she's slept through the night since 7 months old.

I really think it's all about balance.

DivorcedMumOfAdults · 07/03/2025 20:26

There is evidence that TV isn’t good for under 2 year olds . Mine were way past that age when it was published and they both got excellent A levels and degrees so don’t get too anxious. The only way I coped with breast feeding the second one was to put a video of play school or similar on at feed time to amuse the 2 year old. I think it’s reasonable to say when you visit with the kids the TV isn’t on in the room they are in but if you are asking for free childcare you have to accept their ways of doing it . A lot of people would find it rude to have the TV on when they are visiting regardless

EdnaTheWitch · 07/03/2025 20:26

Always the in-laws… 🙄

biscuitsandbooks · 07/03/2025 20:27

I can't believe you turned their TV off - it's not your house!

Stravaig · 07/03/2025 20:28

Much more sensible to turn the TV off, as OP did.

No adult was intentionally watching; it's background noise pollution for everyone; a distraction from quality relationship time with visiting family; and actively harmful for their hopefully treasured baby grandchild.

Oh, and it was unnecessarily consuming power on our beleaguered planet.

Stravaig · 07/03/2025 20:30

I can't believe they were so rude as to leave the TV on while they had guests.

TinyMouseTheatre · 07/03/2025 20:31

YABU and please look up the definitions of aloud and allowed.

Tourmalines · 07/03/2025 20:36

elm26 · 07/03/2025 20:25

I really don't get the whole speech argument for screen time.

DD is 2 in May and I've had the TV on in the background since day 1. I never actively sat her in front of it.

Now she's older she loves Miss Rachel. Her speech is brilliant, she can count to 20, she says sentences now for example "daddy in car at work", we read together every day and she's slept through the night since 7 months old.

I really think it's all about balance.

Show quote history

I agree with you . As long as the child is learning to read and having adults talking to them they are not going to suffer or fall behind because of a bit of Tv . This falling behind in brain development is talking about being stuck in front of the TV with no other interaction.

elm26 · 07/03/2025 20:40

@Tourmalines exactly! We always chat to each other, she has me in hysterics with the things she comes out with/knows, we get out every day even if it's just to the park to get fresh air, we play with toys and read books so I'm not going to feel guilty about her watching Miss Rachel so I can get dinner cooking or hoover. It's all about balance.

Anxioustealady · 07/03/2025 20:43

EdnaTheWitch · 07/03/2025 20:26

Always the in-laws… 🙄

Maybe because the woman's parents either respect the mothers decisions, or they can argue about it and have reduced contact.

Dumbo18 · 07/03/2025 20:44

My son had watched most of game of thrones with me by the time he was 14 weeks old. Amazing speech from a young age, can read and write no problem and he’s absolutely fantastic at riding dragons!

ttcat37 · 07/03/2025 20:44

I don’t think it’ll do much damage as their vision is still blurry at this age. But YANBU to not allow your in laws to have your child alone if you don’t like the way they look after him. If it’s on whilst you’re there, just face him away from it

LillyPJ · 07/03/2025 20:48

At 14 weeks, he's not going to be "watching" TV anyway. It'll just be interesting light patterns, if anything. You have to accept that there will be all sorts of different ways of doing things out there in the Big Wide World and that your child will have to learn to accept them all; the world doesn't revolve around him.

LillyPJ · 07/03/2025 20:49

Stravaig · 07/03/2025 20:30

I can't believe they were so rude as to leave the TV on while they had guests.

I agree, but it seems to be quite common nowadays to have the TV on as just background noise.

Anxioustealady · 07/03/2025 20:50

Screens are bad for children's eyes. They'll probably have to work on a computer all the time, and their eyesight will deteriorate as an adult.

If your eyesight is very degraded you can get severe eye diseases, and the earlier it starts, the worse it will get.

I was plonked in front of the TV all the time as a child. I'm educated (like people saying it hasn't damaged their children) but I have to wear glasses. Due to all this, I will limit TV as much as possible, and anyone telling me I have to get used to the TV being on, would be soon told that that's fine, but my child won't be there.

Parents are the authority, not grandparents.

DivorcedMumOfAdults · 07/03/2025 20:54

Tourmalines · 07/03/2025 20:36

I agree with you . As long as the child is learning to read and having adults talking to them they are not going to suffer or fall behind because of a bit of Tv . This falling behind in brain development is talking about being stuck in front of the TV with no other interaction.

Show quote history

Problem with statistics is all they show is an association/ trend.
So it could be that stupid uncaring parents use the TV as a baby sitter and their children have a genetic disadvantage which is then compounded by a variety of factors of which TV time is merely a marker not actually a causal factor. We will never know.
Reading OP again not sure if visiting grandparents for few hours or for some reason living with them. If you are in the situation of needing to live in their home then my deepest sympathy and you will have to tread carefully.

Goldengirl123 · 07/03/2025 21:57

Are you actually being serious????

Wellshellsbells · 07/03/2025 22:32

SpikeGilesSandwich · 07/03/2025 18:14

@Wellshellsbells, you think it's fine to give a 14 week old baby not old enough to be weaned yet milkybars every day? Ok...

She said her dh was 3 year old.

Copperoliverbear · 07/03/2025 22:43

Ridiculous

User79853257976 · 07/03/2025 22:55

It’s allowed, not aloud.

rollon20again · 07/03/2025 23:37

When I was younger my mum told me I would get square eyes if I watched too much tv. She was wrong. I'm ok. She was being ridiculous

CarpetKnees · 08/03/2025 00:08

You are being OTT.

Personally, I hate TV being on in the background all the time, with no-one watching, but, unless you spend several hours a day there, several days a week, it isn't an issue for your baby at this age. Indeed, at this age, you can easily position them facing away from the screen if it bothers you.

However, this
MIL stated ‘ you just need to accept that the tv will be on when he comes to grandma and grandads’ sort of sets the tone.

You have the choice to not go to Grandma and Grandads now.

I think most reasonable people give new parents a bit of a pass for a while to let them sort out which things they are worrying about are OTT and which are things they should worry about, and, on an occasional visit, I would humour my DS and DiL for the time they were here. The fact they want to make a stance about it puts up unnecessary barriers, which presumably will mean they get to see their grandchild less often.

SpikeGilesSandwich · 08/03/2025 08:23

@Wellshellsbells, no I didn't! Why would I have an issue with a 3yr old having a milky bar? I'm talking about an actual baby, less than 6 months old, it's a bit different imo.

TinyMouseTheatre · 08/03/2025 09:17

User79853257976 · 07/03/2025 22:55

It’s allowed, not aloud.

I think the OP needs to be more worried about whether the two homes contain a dictionary Grin