In-laws letting Baby watch tv

[Gwjb2024]

I have a 14wk old. I try not to have the TV on around him as I’m worried how it will impact his brain development while he’s so little. That’s not to say he’ll never be aloud to watch TV. I’m very much looking forward to snuggly movie nights when he’s older but for now I don’t like him looking at it. We’re currently at the in-laws - who are well aware of my stance- and they keep putting him in front of the tv. We were playing in the lounge and he was sat watching so I turned the tv off - no one was watching it. MIL stated ‘ you just need to accept that the tv will be on when he comes to grandma and grandads’
i wasn’t sure what to say so I laughed awkwardly. Am I being ridiculous? How would you approach this or do I just accept that he might be stuck infront of it more than I would like while we’re here?

My baby is 5 months old and had loves CBeebies and has since a similar age, its for babies and entertains him while I cook dinner or sort the older ones out.
It's not doing any harm and he can be heard chuckling away so I know he's happy.
He also likes moon and me and in the garden before bed which is again for babies.

Were you allowed to watch TV and did it damage your vocabulary?

It's not something I would worry about personally. It's sounds and shapes to them. It would be different if they were letting the baby constantly hold a screen as soon as they were able. Dd1 barely saw a TV on for months, dd2 was exposed to Twirlywoos and Peppa Pig from birth as tv made looking after two much easier!

Screen time is also nothing new. When my grandparents bought a TV in the 50s my grandma would plonk baby mum in front of the testcard as it entertained her!

@Wellshellsbells, you think it's fine to give a 14 week old baby not old enough to be weaned yet milkybars every day? Ok...

I also didn’t want my baby watching telly so would face him away at other peoples houses if they had it on. You can’t control what they do in their own home but you could invite them to your house instead and if you have to visit at their house, make sure baby is turned away. If they’re reasonable people, explain to them why screen time is bad at such a young age.

Unless they’re his primary carers, you’ll just have to suck it up.

I mean, I'd not ask them to babysit often if that's their attitude, but infrequent visits won't do him any harm.

If they were providing regular childcare though I wouldn't be happy.

I have 2 academically excellent kids, shock horror I never restricted screen time, TV, phones etc. I hate silence

It kind of depends how much time he will be spending there. If they’re going to be doing childcare 3 full days a week then yeah, I’d probably be concerned about that but if it’s just casual visiting then I’d not let it bother me too much.

YABU…it will stimulate the babies brain if anything, not have any lasting detrimental impact on it… seeing different moving objects and listening to sounds will be good for your baby…. would you rather the baby went around blindfolded or with their eyes shut… i am inclined to think this post is a joke 🤣

Yes but there’s a difference between sitting a child in front of the tv for 3 hour straight and having it on in the background.

Both of mine have always been around the tv, shockingly I even let them watch baby sensory videos for a few minutes when they were small and my toddler is now obsessed with frozen and Bluey. She also has the language and vocabulary of a 5 year old, at 3. Everything in moderation 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have fond memories of watching box sets while feeding ds1 and then children's tv while feeding the younger ones. None of the dc were interested in tv until they were about 2-4 years old, except for ds1 who seemed to like the Simpsons as a baby, probably because of the bright colours.

Plenty of very young children are given screens /phones to gawp at I don't think it's a good idea. In moderation is okay but I've seen the flip side of it.
When my two year neice came to stay with my dsis last summer, I wrongly assumed that we might do things like simple games when we were at home, playdoh, reading stories with her that sort of thing, but no, she wanted my dsis's phone from the moment she woke up and throughout the day until she went to bed. Near constant screen time. Sis said she would tantrum if she didn't have it, as she had been looking at it since she was about 14 months and it wasn't worth the agro to say no.
Neice didn't engage with me or her mum. When we went to soft play she was bored and whined for the phone, the beach was boring, this was boring that was boring, She was only happy when she had the bloody phone to mess about with.

It’s your hormones, hating on your in-laws is normal after a baby 😂
mine organised a piss up party 5 days after birth (which involved 2nd degree tears and soreness) and expected me and the baby to be there. I was too naive to say no at the time.
i didn’t stay all evening obviously

This is peak Mumsnet, totally ridiculous.

Occasional TV watching is not an issue. It won't affect eye or brain development. Even daily watching won't. As long as a kid isn't dumped in front of screens to replace parenting and interaction, TV is fine. Chill a bit, you'll have bigger battles.

This is Precious First Born syndrome. At 14 weeks he barely has his eyes open. It makes no difference if he is looking at a wall, at a garden or his grandparents or a tv. He cannot focus or register anything. If he were 3 or 5, I could understand. But you sound very unreasonable and I would be very concerned about you if I were your partner.

YABU. Do they usually have the Tv on even if they are not actively watching it?

This. He is 14 weeks.

F me

I think it's a very different scenario if:

a) TV is just on in the background with an adult programme on
b) Grandparents are putting Cbeebies on and plonking the baby directly in front of it

If a) you can't really dictate to them that they must not have a TV on anywhere in the vicinity of dc, that would be ridiculous. Dc glancing occasionally at a screen won't make any difference.

If b) then I wouldn't be happy with that either and I'd put a stop to it very firmly with the in laws. Ignore all the posters saying 'well my baby was glued to cbeebies and now has eleventy million degrees' - seriously, who cares. My granny smoked a pack of fags a day and lived to 95, it doesn't mean everyone should conclude there was no problem with that.

And remember it's YOUR baby and your decision. MILs comment about you having to just accept that they'll use the TV for the baby would get my back RIGHT UP. Fuck that, you don't need to placidly accept anything. Your baby, your decision. I'd be clearly outlining that you DO NOT want dc plonked in front of the TV ever. They can either accept that or not have any unsupervised access.

OP, I am extremely anti screens. No personal devices, one family TV that DC aged 5 watches for max. 30 minutes a week, often not even that. We have a family film once a month, or less. We had no TV at all before the age of 3.

And even I wouldn't have turned off the TV in my in laws house! It's their TV. They're right, you do have to accept that it will be on at their house. I have encouraged DC to other area of the house. At 14 months I would have taken him to a different room if it were bothering me.

I feel like I've stepped into the twilight zone here. Quite a few comments along these lines and I'm baffled.

I mean, this is a parenting website...have you never met a 14 week old baby? They're not blind, senseless lumps at 14 weeks. They're fully able to focus and follow you across a room from some distance. They recognise you. They smile. They laugh when you play peekaboo or make funny noises. They're alert and aware and engaging.

Barely have their eyes open at 14 weeks, my arse. Good grief.