Anyone else not given their pre-schooler a phone or tablet?

[Yungry]

He’s never held a phone or tablet or played on one. Not a stealth or brag post, he’s actually mostly non verbal, almost 4. Means I try even harder to engage him in convos etc. my heart breaks when I see tiny toddlers scrolling YouTube on a bus and parents ignoring them.

I feel like the only one not giving my child tech? Everywhere I look there’s children (often in prams) with smartphones in their faces

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I think there is a world of difference between a child raised by devices and a child who can use technology.

A non verbal child can be hugely supported by technology for communication such as PECS based communication on an iPad.

A phone or tablet can be used for nonsense. Or they may be learning phonics and watching numberblocks.

Your concern I think is poor parenting not technology. Well controlled and positive tech use might help your child.

Oh I totally agree with this, I don’t mean PECS (son can’t use yet, we’ve tried)
I mean giving a child smartphones and tablets to go on YouTube etc

I doubt you are alone. I wouldn't want to do this if I were having babies now. Or at least I would minimise it a lot. I know they have their uses in situations where you just have to do everything possible to keep the child quiet, like in the doctor's waiting room and surgery, but I still don't like it.

Similarly in support of learning. I see that they can have uses there too.

It would have to be a tablet specifically designed with children in mind though, as I wouldn't just give them mine. I'm territorial over them and children do get rough or extremely careless with things at that age.

When my last baby was born it was 2002, so smartphones and tablets were much less of a thing than they are now. You had to interact with the child.

Maybe it’s just where I live but it’s the majority of parents actively giving these devices to little ones.
the other day a maybe 3 year old was actively saying ‘no daddy don’t want’ and he was STILL thrusting a phone in her face on the bus. It’s bizarre.

I'm all for kids having tech but mine didn't have her own tablet until she was 5 or 6. At 4 she rarely used my devices either - She did have to some stuff on the tablet as she spent a lot of reception year at home due to lock downs and they assigned work on various apps

Honestly I get it but trust me my child has awful meltdowns and he never resorted to a screen. I have a ‘bag of tricks’ with cars and all sorts to distract and yes it’s bloody tiring and yes people stare whilst you ‘calm them down’ but I think it’s outrageous to be blasting phones and iPads in public places for toddlers and young kids. The problems these YouTube etc videos are gonna create in the future for attention span etc is massive. I worry about the future.

I don't, they wouldn't know what a tablet is

I have found my people 🙏 I just feel like a lot of stuff is geared towards phones and iPads for kids even tiny ones.
my son wouldn’t know what to do with a phone. I also don’t use mine in front of him. I have a brick phone for out and about

Mine is nearly 3 and doesn't have their own but we went abroad a few weeks and I will admit that I downloaded some games on my tablet for her for the flight and some cartoons etc.

She doesn't have it usually though. Very occasionally I think my Mum lets her watch Peppa Pig on her phone.

I guess if I was to give my child a screen there 0 chance of ‘going back’ same reason I never gave a dummy or other things as he would be so obsessed there would be no chance to reverse it

For those with older children in school age, do the schools primary use iPads etc?

My eldest got a phone when she went to secondary school. We don’t otherwise do tablets or gaming. They can watch some tv, but mostly play outside. My 6 year old did watch some Lego stuff on my phone on a long flight, but that’s about it. My primary and secondary age dc have access to laptops in school, but only for computing, a bit for design and technology. They do everything else paper and pen.

Yes. My 6 year old doesn't have a tablet and she isn’t allowed on our phones. She’s expected to entertain herself with her (many!) toys and books if bored. She does have CBeebies but we keep that to an hour a day, or try to.

Will do the same with my 2 year old. They can have ‘brick’ phones and use a family computer for homework when they go to secondary, but that’s it.

My son is 3 , awaiting an autism assessment and has a tablet with some games on it that he uses sometimes. When he's particularly bad it's the only way to regulate him. I'd rather him have a tablet than smashing his head off my walls . Sometimes a bag of cars just doesn't work

Okay phew I’m not a horrible parent then! This is the same here we are spending most days outside to be honest no need or time for a tablet, any journeys we play games or I just talk at him about what we can see out of the window/ parts of the bus/ things people are doing etc

My son is diagnosed from 2 years so believe me I understand. Peronslaly wirh our child’s autism if we introduced it we’d never be able to take it away again so isn’t an option for us

Once you have your assessment they will tell you in detail the sensory profile of your son this was helpful for us to calm meltdowns IE needed deep pressure or needed ear defenders certain times etc
as he non verbal he couldn’t tell us

All you are doing is describing two extremes, which ignores the nuance.

No technology at all? Ok, but that is probably not a sustainable position in the long run and technology isn’t by nature a problem.

On it all the time? Yes, that’s not good, but how can you know what the life of a child is like because you’ve seen them on a train with a phone.

I don’t really follow the idea stuff is geared towards screen time for small children, and I assume when I see parents using these ‘on the go’ on the train or a cafe, it’s because their child needs some alternative form of entertainment.

My child doesn’t have much screen time (often none at all in a day), but I would think anything of letting them watch cartoons on an iPad on a plane or if bored and restless in a restaurant.

Anyway, big pat on the back for you for no screens OP.

It's what works for each child . I don't think you do understand though as you come across as quite judgemental exclaiming "I've found my people"

Thanks :)

That sounds like a you problem unfortunately

My kids do have a tablet (3&5). However it is locked down within an inch of its life. We have a no tech rule before school and they aren't allowed to use them after school until all school reading / tasks etc are done. They lock at 5pm and can't be accessed until after school the following day. As a result they aren't addicted to them and most days don't even use them. On the tablet is parental controls, they have drawing and phonics apps. The eldest has timetable rock stars and practices on that.

The devices don't leave the house unless we are on a long drive somewhere and will put a U rated film on for them. However when that's finished we will play games or talk. We don't use them in restaurants and the like instead we take our own colouring, cars, games etc.

I think we are very minimal on tech but that doesn't make us more superior over someone that doesn't use any.

I've already paid privately for an ot assessment for my son and we have all that info . My son will not wear ear defenders due to sensory issues and the deep pressure he wants when he's extremely distressed is to bash his head . Our ot has reccomended screen time during these times to keep him from harming himself as its the only thing that works. Screens are very regulating, I use them myself as an austitic adult

Sounds like a good balance