Anyone else not given their pre-schooler a phone or tablet?

[Yungry]

He’s never held a phone or tablet or played on one. Not a stealth or brag post, he’s actually mostly non verbal, almost 4. Means I try even harder to engage him in convos etc. my heart breaks when I see tiny toddlers scrolling YouTube on a bus and parents ignoring them.

I feel like the only one not giving my child tech? Everywhere I look there’s children (often in prams) with smartphones in their faces

Nah I'm not the one looking down my nose at people , that's definitely a you problem 🙃

Seems to have hit a nerve though, that’s definitely a you problem my friend

Well done. I think your doing a good thing.

I regret that my toddler has too much tv time but we havn't done phones (we don't own a tablet).
The only occasion we use the phone is if we're travelling long distance and need t9 show cartoons as a last resort.

I put some nursery rhymes on YouTube for my screaming 10 week old so I could have a shower a few days ago. He was fed, warm, clean and still crying (colic, so no other ‘reason’ for the crying) and I desperately needed a wash.

He stopped crying when he heard the music, I showered, we both survived.

Not really the same as what I’m saying but glad it worked for you

Mine have tablets at 4, but they don’t use them much. My daughter got hers a week ago only used it for an hour total. We have a setting that locks it after 30 mins use, they don’t know the password and that’s it. My sons average screen time (age 6.5) last month was about 6mins per day (so probably about 5-6 30 minute goes on it). My daughters has an apple pen and it’s just an alternative way to practice her writing and colouring.

They deffo have their place, but it does need to be restricted. Ours don’t leave the house except plane journeys. Even longish car rides are nice to chat and listen to music. We have zoo passes and I find it bizarre how many kids are walking round glued to videos on what should be a fun day out! Each to their own.

we’ve also hugely cut down on telly and after lots of initial battles/constant requests it’s now just an accepted element of our lives that we don’t sit for extended periods in front of telly.

Again sounds like a good balance
restrictions seem to be the way forward then

YANBU at all. Keep it up.

Thanks. I’m sure the ‘be kind’ soft parenting brigade will be out in force to tell me how screens are vital and children cannot function without them. I hate this country sometimes.

Me. We did watch tv (the usual educational programmes for his age group) and we read together instead. If your child is non verbal it is even more important that you are interacting with him more instead of letting a screen or phone do it.

DS was reading well before the target age and could memorise poems and short stories well before anyone in his school year could (admittedly, small school). You are right to delay giving your child tech if you prefer not to. I think delaying it and interacting with your child more helps their educational development.

He does use tech now because of school and the late start hasn't held him back in terms of proficiency- he is now the "tech support" person in our home!

I'm on your side as I said in my earlier post but you could probably make your own parenting decisions without looking down on other people to be honest.

I think you’ll see above I got attacked first.
you do you
i do me
but I rightly judge anyone shoving some awful YouTube video in their calm toddlers face in a pram, yes.

Mine does not have their own tablet, nor does my 7 year old. I do let the preschooler use this occasionally. I know when he starts at school he will need a device for homework and reading (physical books also available but need to read on a screen 3x per week) as my older child does.

They have to read on screen? Sorry I have only 1 child so not sure of schooling just nursery which doesn’t have screens

In primary school they will use iPads and laptops. Not all technology is bad.

This must be a geographic thing as where I am you never see toddlers with phones, you would definitely expect to receive judgement!

This thread is very disingenuous though, at no point did you think, or expect others to think, that you're a 'horrible parent' for not giving screens 😂. My toddler has also never had a screen, even he doesn't think that's 'horrible' of me as he doesn't know they're an option!

My children will not have phones until they start high school and were given tablets around the age of 5 and 8 which was a lifeline during covid lockdown due to online learning.

We have set times on our children's devices so once they have reached the time limit, it won't work without parental authorisation.

For my youngest, having access to such a tablet was a lifeline for him, he has selective mutism and is mostly non verbal at school.

During lockdown one of the parents found a child friendly messaging app for the children to be able to engage with each other (you could get the messaging app on a tablet, mine don't have a phone).

As time has gone on, he has managed to speak to his peers behind the screen. It was truly heartwarming to hear him talking to his friends this way, it is obviously a face 2 face issue for him, he continues to communicate this way out of school with his friends.

He is still mostly non verbal at school but does now manage a whisper and I am pretty sure it's all thanks to allowing a device in his life which gave him the courage to show others how wonderful his voice sounds.

We do have a rule of no devices at meal times, including out and about, however, not for me to judge others who do, perhaps they have their own reasons. Although, I can honestly say I have never really seen preschoolers with screens attached to their hands while out, or even primary aged kids to be honest.

Yeah agree with that.

I'm on the no tablet side really but I think this thread was started to get praise about being a perfect parent or to just have arguments and act superior to those who do you use phones and tablets.

Oh gosh it actually makes me quite sad that your resisting giving your child some screen time given his neurodivergence. It can be world opening for some children who are non-verbal and have atypical learning styles. I think you’re being too black and white completely banning screen time, a bit of trial and error is what we’ve done with my ND 3.5 year old. He is hyperlexic so absolutely loved one alphabet app I installed, and he actually can write letters on the hungry caterpillar app we got too but struggles to write anywhere else. It can be life changing for some children, I don’t think you should be completely banning it just so you look like a good parent. This only really applies to typically developing children who do better without too much screen time. I’m not ‘your people’ no, but I’m happy about that.

Back in the day pre phones/tablet, a flight/meal out/quiet meal meant going out laden with games, pens, sticker books, lego figures, colouring pads etc. It was also more work/parental involvement as let's be honest not many young children will sit happily colouring for hours on end unprompted. It didn't always worked as planned but these were invaluable lessons and skills that I think sadly youngsters are now lacking. I'm not judging as who knows maybe I'd be giving my kids tablets to enjoy a meal/flight uninteruppted occasionally but, just a plea to those that do use them a lot (which I'm guessing won't be people posting here) don't forget the importance of games, creative activities, interaction, learning to be quiet & still at times and also talking & listening to adults speak.

ETA - my kids aren't ND so sitting still, engaging etc was something they could cope with - appreciate many can't.

Yes at my child’s school the set reading scheme they have bought into means they must read books through an app. In Year 1/2 maths and spelling is also via an app.

My dc didn't at that age. Older teens have tablets/laptops and phones, secondary aged dc have phones with restricted use and no internet. 10 year old doesn't have anything.

All children are different and I've seen screens really help some children but I find mine struggle to sleep when they have access to a lot of screen time.

You’re right - it’s just you. No other parent on this planet has done the same. Congrats.

We live 400 miles from my parents, so I FT every few days. My LO loves to hold the phone and giggle down it to them. So no we are not "screen" or phone free, but I don't allow YouTube, games or tablets.

Again, we watch movies and have cuddles on a Saturday morning or when poorly, so not screen free, but I'd never let them watch videos out in public.

I think there can be balance. It's doesn't have to be all or nothing. As my LO grows we will have no tvs in bedrooms, no computers in bedrooms, all screens in communal space with activity monitored, just as I grew up with. I hope this keeps them safe and encourages a healthy relationship with technology.