To feel utterly fed up and want to give up (a money one)

[Huppli]

I’m in a really intense job which means I’m logging into work most evenings and some weekends. I am paid reasonably well for this (70k). However, I cannot get ahead with anything. Me and ex DP share everything financially for DD, he often pays more for big items like new bed or things like that. He earns more. So there’s no issue on that front. But I literally cannot get ahead with anything. I save 150 a month and it seems pointless, it’s not even 2k a year! I will never be able to buy a home and my rent is 800 a month for a very small two bed house. I just want to give up. The 2k will be used for a holiday for dd but obviously that will be on a budget as flights are around 400 plus. I never ever have anything for myself as I just can’t justify it. Yet here I am working to the bone. I want to go off sick or just give up. Just having a rant really. Anyone else feel the same? Am I doing something wrong?

You’ll have to save and buy a house you can afford, not necessarily the house you really want.

What else do you want people to say? You have plenty of money. Just budget it.

Well, you save over time. And the interest on your savings grows then too. Your salary means you can borrow in excess of 280k. So aim towards a £14-5k savings pot (5%). This will get you the average house in the UK (£290k). If the sort of properties you are interested in are cheaper, then you could buy somewhere earlier although if you can get a 10% deposit this will get a better mortgage rate.

you make it your priority and live frugally to save as much as you can for the deposit- how much do u need to save to get a deposit?

You have a healthy income with a clear surplus so a coupe of years of being very careful should work?

can u increase your income, move somewhere cheaper, look at all your bills and spends- make a budget and stick to it

Sorry but I’m confused about why you feel broke. My take home pay is 2,200 a month and I save around 800 a month. If the money you have after rent, bills and nursery is 1750 then you can definitely save more.

I don’t feel broke. I never said that. I feel like none of this is worthwhile as I’m stuck

That’s because it seems like you want it to be instant, and you don’t seem to like the idea of having to budget on a high salary. But you do; you have to budget and you have to save over several years. You’ve missed out by not doing that for the last however many years, so time to get started.

You are going somewhere, but it takes time.

Until your child is out of nursery then you won't be able to save much but after that you can start saving for a deposit. It's hard, and even harder to save for a deposit as a single person. It takes time and sacrifices for most people, the majority don't have a deposit handed to them on a plate.

Yeah but the nursery fees aren't going to be forever.

Also the loans aren't going to be forever.

It's just for a few years. Surely you can see that?

Because your salary will also go up.

Honestly, chill out. It doesn't sound like you are in a bad position

Without seeing your entire budget its impossible to help you. If you list where you spend money (utilities, food, car costs, insurances etc) then maybe we can identify savings for you.

How old are you, how old is your child, and how much do you owe in student loans?

😂

All these people on 70k plus salaries that can’t work out where their money is going and deal with it accordingly blows my mind!

I hope none of you work in accounts or finance!!! Or have to plan budgets at work!

So you earn together ca. 150k per year and you cannot save anything? Where is all the money going? We earned under 100k for the last 15 years, managed to save to buy 2 properties on a mortgage and go on yearly holidays to Asia and Europe, and that with 1 and then 2 kids! The elder one already has his uni fees sorted, too. What have you been spending on? Something must be seriously wrong with your budget.

I heard that message and so glad I ignore it and stated saving - as saving are useful to have anyway. Then married DH who had few saving started adding to them. Took a decade and a move to cheaper area but we bought a house.

Sadly it turned into a money pit and a lot of stuff we'd looked forward to doing couldnlt get done as money went on unglamours things - it then sold for less than to 2008 crash. Still gave our kids stablity.

Next house - paid down mortgage at first with just a little extra - and up it when we could - we've now over paid by over 20 K + and saved on interest.

Glad to see we're not the only ones who bought a money pit! We're going through that now, spent a fortune on things that were necessary but you don't really see. Which means living with the rubbish kitchen and not getting all the fab furniture I had bought in my head!

I do feel like it's worth it but can you get down. Although in those down moments I remind myself nobody can chuck us out as it's ours 💕

How old are you?

How much/ what are your regular monthly expenses including rent and childcare?

Is your ex paying regular maintenance or just the one off expenses like beds?

Nursery costs are non negotiable unless you have family help
Your rent is extremely low, and frankly owning a property isn't hugely important
( repairs are someone else's responsibility etc etc) although I realise it's not guaranteed.
With your salary, even with student loans and professional fees, I suspect you are simply not budgeting
Go through everything possible on your statements to see where you can cut costs.. There will be something you can do.
Usual advice applies Meal plan, cut down on meat. Have a cheap meal night
Batch cook/ dump bags.
Shop at Aldi/ Lidl
Concentrate on needs not wants
Second hand wherever possible
Look for discounts before buying Anything
Too cash back blue light card etc etc
Childcare isn't forever so it's heads down until then

Make a five year plan so you have a target date - try and up your savings to £500 a month - keep £200 in a cash ISA so you can have holidays / treats

Save the other £300 in a LISA which will give you £18,000

You haven't said how old your daughter is - but if we assume she'll start school in 2 years time that gives you another £9,000 a year for three years.

That's £45,000. If you save it in a LISA you'll get £900 each year on the savings for the first two years and a £1,000 for the last three years from the government giving you an extra £4,800.

That's a total deposit of £49,800 - and a very healthy deposit of almost 20% on a £250,000 house or 16% on a £300,000 house!

Even if you don't hit the full £49,000 as long as you stick roughly to the plan, that will be more than enough to buy a house

We used to tell oursleves long term it would be worth it - we'd get the benefit eventually despite money being really tight day to day. Plus no we're sell out the blue which both DH and I had had prior to marraige renting.

Then DH was made redundant and long term we had to move.

We got deposit we put in out - had to write off all the money spent and x years paying down the mortage - but it's a nicer area and house in many ways and as we'd fix mortage rate with first even borrowing more for here it worked out we were better off. This house has needed little doing to it. Even overpaying the mortgage we're paying substantially less than market rate rent in current area.

Overall it still worked out for us.

How are your student loans so high?

According to the finance calculator, the government loan should only be around £200 per month. Presumably the private one won't take long to pay off if you're paying it at about £400 per month.

With your working hours, I'm not far off your salary but nobody expects me to work every weekend and evenings, all the time. Perhaps start looking for another job. Just because you earn a big salary, doesn't mean you should be expected to work 24/7.

Normally I'd be sympathetic to someone in your situation, but the numbers really aren't adding up here.

When the nursery fees are over, you’ll save £800 per month. In a few years, that will be a deposit of 40K.

If you never save anything, you'll never have a deposit!
I'm terrible at saving and I earn less than half of your salary but I still manage to save £50 per month, sometimes more. It slowly adds up so never say never.

Excellent and highly achievable advice

YABU

You should easily be able to save £500 per month with your salary and outgoings. When your daughter finishes nursery you should be able to up that to around £1300.

Yes it will take a few years to get a decent size deposit, but you've left it very late to start saving 🤷🏻‍♀️