Are people getting more horrible?

[NewtoLaw]

Morning, this post is following an interaction in the workplace but applies to all areas of life.

Is it me or are people, especially women in my experience becoming unkinder and unnecessarily aggressive?

My example comes from my new workplace.
Ive just started working in a law firm, conveyancing. I know it’s stressful but almost everyone I speak to is unkind and nasty, completely unnecessarily. I explain I’m new to the transaction and ask if they can provide a contact email for the person they are referencing as there doesn’t appear to be one on the file. The response was incredible!

Not just this, I’ve had 3 instances this week of aggressive behaviour. I always try to be respectful and mindful of how I come across to others.

Im not a young woman just out of college (not that this would make it more acceptable). Im in my 40s with loads of life experience and just struggling this week.

I worked in an all-female environment once. I was bullied incessantly. I don’t think it takes anything from my feminist position to admit that this was the case. They weren’t kind women. Some women aren’t.

I’m just going to carry on being me. I have to let them be them.
Fighting to get to the top is the same in any industry - it’s not a good enough excuse.

Are you suggesting that she doesn't have any right to expect civil interaction, regardless of the sex of the person she's dealing with?

I’m suggesting that if everyone is horrible, the problem is more likely with the OP.

It sounds like this workplace isn’t a good fit.

@melonalone i don’t think I said everyone is horrible.

The workplace, tasks, some of the people are fine why don’t you think it’s the place for me?

I think you’ve suggested it yourself when you said “am I being over sensitive?”.

No one wants to work with someone who is horrible, obviously, but in fast-paced high pressure work places where attention to detail is required and work carries a degree of risk, there is simply less time for niceties, and people tend to be more direct (which some people appreciate and others view as cold/rude/aggressive).

If you are finding a lot of people to be rude, I would question whether they are all rude or whether it is you who has a problem with them/how they interact.

Your username indicates that you haven’t worked in law previously. Maybe this particular workplace isn’t right for you, or it could be the profession as a whole. It’s not for everyone.

Yes people are becoming more horrible. I work in a customer service role where we have a meet & greet person. After the 4th amount of abuse in the space of a few hours she burst into tears & ran into the back. People have become very entitled, & think they should have things immediately & are never wrong.
My company is very supportive & we have all had additional training about handling abusive customers. Some staff members were interviewed about their experiences for the training & quite frankly it was upsetting & shocking.
Sainsbury's staff who are on customer service have cameras on fobs around their knecks. That tells you everything.
Noone goes to work to be abused!

Fully agree - just horrible. Everyone seems pissed odd, rude , defensive. Kindness seems to have gone

My work place is lovely i work all night so about 5 of us altogether.
However MN is fucking awful with bullies its become a game with me now called whos going to quote me with abuse today.

No, that isn't the full picture. There are quite a lot of people online who are plain nasty. They often race on to the beginning of a thread and post venom and spite. They almost certainly wouldn't embarrass themselves on that way in real life

Yes! I’ve noticed OPs write a post and every word and sentence gets pick up on a taken out of context, people go down rabbit holes that are not the original reason for the OP posting and it just gets silly. It’s a shame - stops people asking stuff

^This
People are becoming numb to things, emotionally shutdown. We are bombarded with awful stories and visuals on the daily. Snout deep in phones.
DM on the other hand will engage with people, chat to them, I’ve noticed the older generation are much nicer, chattier, happier, not so woe is me.

Good and bad experiences come with dealing with the public in every walk of life. However if you’re doing conveyancing, isn’t there a stamp duty deadline looming? People will be anxious to avoid £££££ extra on their house purchase so will be mega stressed. Not your fault though and you shouldn’t be spoken to rudely.
Sorry for your loss OP.

I'm 50 and I think people are much less racist and homophobic and sexist in the used to be openly when I was young. Obviously people are still all of these things but it has gone down in my opinion.
Some of the things I remember people saying to my friends of colour were truly vile

OP your new work place possibly has an unhealthy organisational culture.

Yes. People are rude, inconsiderate etc.

Humans are getting so much more nasty but it's a reflection of who they are, not who you are x

I disagree
Nasty Men get called Dicks & nasty women Bitches in my world!

I work in healthcare and honestly most of my colleagues are really nice! Patients can be awful but even then a majority are still pleasant and some are lovely!

Same x

I agree, but I suspect it's partly that culturally it's become more acceptable to be rude / offensive and also that most people are having a pretty shit time, working to just exist, endlessly waiting for healthcare, and living on a fairly shit windy grey island in the middle of the Atlantic...

Work and home i am surrounded by lovely people, mainly kind and friendly. Business is quite a friendly trade, but there are always the grumpy idiots with chips on their shoulders, it's a minority and split 50/50 m/f, socialy it's certainly the women that are more prone to rudeness and irritability.

I agree with this, people infer nastiness when someone is just being direct and not fluffy. You see it on here all the time,People are people as the song goes with good and bad sides, good and bad days.

yes some people are just rude but it’s not a now thing I dint think, it was ever thus.

I think that’s your mother, old people aren’t just an amorphous blob. If I think about my week, the only person I have been in the vicinity of who was being rude and not nice was an older woman. I’m not extrapolating out though that all older women are rude, she was rude in that interaction she may be rude all the time or that may be her in a bad day we just don’t know . For the ageist bingo full house she was irritated that the magazine was missing from the mail on Saturday on the rack and the assistant couldn’t find where they were, assume they’d not been delivered.

You’d think you could though fro
this thread!!