Are people getting more horrible?

[NewtoLaw]

Morning, this post is following an interaction in the workplace but applies to all areas of life.

Is it me or are people, especially women in my experience becoming unkinder and unnecessarily aggressive?

My example comes from my new workplace.
Ive just started working in a law firm, conveyancing. I know it’s stressful but almost everyone I speak to is unkind and nasty, completely unnecessarily. I explain I’m new to the transaction and ask if they can provide a contact email for the person they are referencing as there doesn’t appear to be one on the file. The response was incredible!

Not just this, I’ve had 3 instances this week of aggressive behaviour. I always try to be respectful and mindful of how I come across to others.

Im not a young woman just out of college (not that this would make it more acceptable). Im in my 40s with loads of life experience and just struggling this week.

Try working in education, where 80% of staff are women, then tell me that Male aggression is the reason that the most vile, bullying, hateful, spiteful and nasty people I've ever met are other women.

But again, that is anecdotal. You can’t apply personal experiences to the whole female sex.

What do you imagine working in a male dominated industry is like for women?

I've worked in Male dominated industry and all the men I've worked alongside have been fine.

What's your point?

If you really want to know which group of people behave in the most aggressive ways in the workplace, look at government figures such as the ones I have linked below.

They show that women are significantly more likely to experience sexual harassment in the workplace, and most perpetrators of work place sexual harassment are male.

(source: UK parliament)

To answer that, we would need to know what was actually said.

Maybe the world political climate combined with the rising cost of living is making people stressed and snappy. I now lots of businesses are struggling and pass the anxiety down to their employees, demanding ever greater productivity. This is also the case in the NHS and education.
There is still kindness to be found but I find it's becoming increasingly less common as the default setting.
Everyone is out for themselves.

40% of women experience sexual harassment at work. That's without even touching on the general misogyny and sexism. Other women not being sunshine and rainbows doesn't compare.
Also anecdotally, I've never really had problems with other women. I always wonder why some women see to have so many....

I think people are very very stressed by how expensive everything is and spiralling violence. People don’t feel safe or cared for by the government and it is having a deleterious effect on the fabric of society as a whole, hence the mental health crisis.

You're working in a law firm...

I think England is becoming increasingly fractured and divided and that is playing into every part of life. Too many competing interests.

Yet men are responsible for the vast majority of crime, including sexual and domestic abuse. Women are bullied by men into killing themselves. Men sexually harass women on the street

For some reason a man has never done anything hateful or bullying towards you. You're very lucky. Street harassment started for me as a young teenager.

That sounds shit 💐

Life is more difficult for most people, but we aren’t all horrible about it. It’s a great opportunity to build solidarity. Is anyone you’ve found so far reasonable or even nice? Seek them out!

I would have normally agreed but I have to attend my work place office for the first time In years (I am a remote worker) and everyone was really nice I was surprised

Things on here are definitely more horrible. So unnecessary.

At work - I haven't noticed it myself but that's not to say it hadn't happened.

Online in general yes, definitely.

Society changes, social norms change, it feels unpleasant and uncomfortable but it's going to happen. We're not living by Victorian social customs any more so that change had to take place.

I suspect a lot of people are anxious or scared atm and this comes out as aggression in some people.
I counter it by smiling at people or saying hello. In most cases, they reciprocate.

I think if your job is in conveyancing, that’s at least part of the answer. You only have to look briefly at threads in Property, to see how stressed people are regarding house sale and purchase and since the professions involved in that are agents and solicitors/conveyancers, that’s who they let off steam to.

No one is saying it’s acceptable, but you’re dealing with people at a difficult time.

Well it depends on your reference point I guess. I am listening to a podcast about the September Massacres in the French Revolution at the moment and compared to those folk we are much nicer to each other.

I don’t think this is a good enough excuse.

I have struggled with a serious mental health condition for most of my life.
I’m a full time working mum to a small child.

I’m knackered, stressed sometimes etc but I’m always nice to people at work - I care about people’s feelings.

I would be so upset and worried to think I had upset someone or someone found me rude.

I’m in a similar headspace right now. I feel like there’s an epidemic of selfishness. For things to work I think people need to have a balanced outlook as to their rights on one hand and their responsibilities on the other. I think a lot of people are hyper-focused on the former and pay little attention to the latter.

Some have mentioned misogyny. I have never known it so bad, both in real life and online. Feels like it’s been open season on women for a good few years now.

Have you been out of work for a while? I'm not sure if things have gotten worse but I do think that you notice poor behaviour much more after an extended break from work.

When I returned after Mat leave, I could see the toxicity of my workplace much more clearly than before.

I'm self employed now and find people to be reasonable and decent almost everywhere.

The question was Are people getting more horrible?, and looking at it simplistically I’d have to say yes - men and women, boys and girls equally so.
Thieving, bullying, damage to property, aggressive drivers, aggressive dog owners, knife carrying and generally threatening behaviour when out and about - the list is endless and surely evidence enough.
I’m sure there are those who will argue that things like this have always occurred and it’s just that social media has provided the opportunity for them to be more widely reported. I’m not convinced this is the case.
The world is a very different place from when my parents were young, but back then leaving babies in prams outside shops, walking to school on your own, playing out in the road etc were more or less worry free. That can’t be said nowadays, no one whether old or young appears to be safe anywhere thanks to those who have no consideration for anyone other than themselves and will get and do what they want using any means no matter the consequences.

Men and women are horrible. It’s not about sex and I’m not making it about that.

Some just want to make it all men or women’s faults - it’s not we’re all humans.

I’ve worked in both a predominantly male and predominantly female environment. Men are just as bitchy and nasty as women. Women are just as aggressive as men.

Women in law firms don’t get there by being quiet, passive, “kind” and amenable. Unfortunately, to get into a decent position they’ve had to go above and beyond, advocate for themselves, and be very assertive to go toe-to-toe with their male colleagues. The problem is not with those women, it’s that their working environment has required this.

It sounds like this might not be the working environment, or perhaps profession, for you.

No, you're not making it about sex. It's some other posters who are.
People have certainly become more impatient and arguably less pleasant. I agree with @MrsSkylerWhite that people do tend to reciprocate if you're pleasant to them but of course some people don't.