Page 5 | Son has chickenpox party scheduled for next week

Cliffordthbigreddog · 2025-03-07T07:34:17+00:00

Hi guys, My son was sent home yesterday from nursery with chickenpox and we have a birthday party planned for him next Saturday (8 days away). Should we cancel, or go ahead as planned? Has anyone else experienced this? Should it have cleared up by then? AIBU to go ahead with the party. Thanks in advance.

Ritzybitzy · 07/03/2025 10:17

Sunisshine · 07/03/2025 10:06

Ask GP when he won’t be infectious anymore and warm the parents.

What a waste of GP time.

medianewbie · 07/03/2025 10:18

@Ritzybitzy and, by your own logic, for immunocompromised adults!

The OP was asking whether to postpone the party. Yes, they should.
A party can easily be re-arranged. Consequences for others cannot.

slummymummy24 · 07/03/2025 10:19

Message the other parents with a heads up - as others have said, it is likely that he will not be alone at the nursery with chicken pox and the others will be coming down with it one by one!
More a case of wait and see but I would think that you need to be ready to postpone the party!

ButterCrackers · 07/03/2025 10:20

Do the party when he’s better. It’s tiring for a child with the itching and little sleep. Let him get better and then reorganise the party.

Ritzybitzy · 07/03/2025 10:21

medianewbie · 07/03/2025 10:18

@Ritzybitzy and, by your own logic, for immunocompromised adults!

The OP was asking whether to postpone the party. Yes, they should.
A party can easily be re-arranged. Consequences for others cannot.

I am not sure why you’ve said this. There is no reason to cancel the party if the spots are scabbed. You just need to notify attendees so those who need to be cautious are informed.

Wordau · 07/03/2025 10:24

DisappearingGirl · 07/03/2025 09:36

If you have any other kids, bear in mind that the incubation period is around 2 weeks, so by the time of the party they may have come out with it, or they might be about to get it and be infectious without you knowing.

Yes and if other child guests are from the nursery or you have seen them in last few days they may also get it in the next week.

Bumply · 07/03/2025 10:24

I’d let the other parents know as even if his spots have crusted over he could look bad for several days after he’s no longer contagious.

if you can postpone that might be safest.
DS2 took at least 8 days for his spots to crust and he remained spotty enough to scare people when we then travelled on holiday.

flatwhiteinabucket · 07/03/2025 10:37

I just want to say in the most clearest possible way: Chickenpox is NOT the mild illness many think it to be.

Our son has a life limiting auto immune disease (PSC liver) on top enduring 10 years of Ulcerative Colitis, DIRECTLY as a result of chickenpox caught when he was 8.

He is 18 now, and has a life of suffering ahead.

I cannot stress strongly enough that if your child has chickenpox, keep them AWAY from others until ALL scabs have completely dried up.

If I make this my life's work, to get this message out I will.

Thankyou for listening

Blueblell · 07/03/2025 10:40

Ha Ha was coming on to say no get the vaccine.

I would play it by ear but tell other parents the situation now. Unfortunately some of the invitees may also have it or about to get it so it may be worth postponing anyway if there are not costs involved.

Bleekers · 07/03/2025 10:44

It’s not just about the kids … a pregnant or potential or might get pregnant mother could get the pox and outcomes for baby can be dire.
Also many children get secondary infections right after chickenpox. (Scarletina?)

Cancel the party.

AthWat · 07/03/2025 10:55

SemperIdem · 07/03/2025 07:36

I read your title as you had a scheduled “chickenpox party” and thought you were mad!

I think after 8 days he won’t be infectious anymore but might still be a bit scabby.

Edited as I realise now that you are in fact the hosts 🤦🏻‍♀️ give the parents of those invited the heads up and see what they think.

Edited

Me too, and I was half expecting it to go on "..but he hasn't been able to get chickenpox yet, can anyone help?"

GRex · 07/03/2025 10:57

Just ask the venue to move the party now, while you have time, and let everyone know the new date. If you leave it a few days then you probably won't be able to move it without losing money.

AthWat · 07/03/2025 10:59

GRex · 07/03/2025 10:57

Just ask the venue to move the party now, while you have time, and let everyone know the new date. If you leave it a few days then you probably won't be able to move it without losing money.

Is there a venue?

If there's a venue it is a whole other question and the venue would probably be cancelling. I assumed it was at home.

Hermyknee · 07/03/2025 11:05

Interesting that people think it’s only immunocompromised children that are affected very badly or die. My child was completely healthy until chicken pox. I think research shows the majority who die are previously healthy children. I have often wondered if there is a gene that makes you more prone to getting a bad case.

As a tip (like a pp you become on a mission to educate when you have had a near miss): if the redness around the spots is getting bigger and bigger, draw around with biro and the add the time. You can then check if infections are spreading. If they start to really go downhill, trust your instincts against GPs (2 visits of which both told me it was only chickenpox and a floppy body was tiredness), and go to hospital. Even there, you will need to advocate for your child (you will also get tutted at by others). Only when I wailed to my husband on the phone to get to the waiting room quick because I thought my grey unconscious child was about to die, did 4 doctors crowd round and drips got put in asap. It was touch and go. We had been in hospital 9 or 10 hours by that stage. It took 7 weeks to get over.

No other child in the class had it as bad as my children. They were all fine, other than a few scars as mementos.

ARichtGoodDram · 07/03/2025 11:11

Drfosters · 07/03/2025 08:41

The funny thing is though we all want our kids to get chicken pox at some point whilst children so that they have had it and are immune. It is worse to get as an adult and unless you go for the vaccine getting it in a controlled fashion is surely the best way? So in a way knowingly exposing your child is better than them getting it randomly?

as it happens my daughter did unknowingly go to a pox party and the whole party subsequently came down with it. I actually was thankful that it happened when she was 6 rather in the middle of term rather than a time when she was doing exams or had something important going on.

it is strange in the Uk as kids are routinely vaccinated for most big illnesses- chicken pox is the one which is left out.

That will change in the next few years as the JCVI have now recommended it be added to the childhood vaccination schedule.

It wasn't previously as it was believed it would lead to larger risks of shingles in the older population (shingles is more serious on a population level than CP) but new studies have shown this is not the case so the recommendations have changed.

Hermyknee · 07/03/2025 11:13

ARichtGoodDram · 07/03/2025 11:11

That will change in the next few years as the JCVI have now recommended it be added to the childhood vaccination schedule.

It wasn't previously as it was believed it would lead to larger risks of shingles in the older population (shingles is more serious on a population level than CP) but new studies have shown this is not the case so the recommendations have changed.

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Brilliant news

Ritzybitzy · 07/03/2025 11:56

Hermyknee · 07/03/2025 11:05

Interesting that people think it’s only immunocompromised children that are affected very badly or die. My child was completely healthy until chicken pox. I think research shows the majority who die are previously healthy children. I have often wondered if there is a gene that makes you more prone to getting a bad case.

As a tip (like a pp you become on a mission to educate when you have had a near miss): if the redness around the spots is getting bigger and bigger, draw around with biro and the add the time. You can then check if infections are spreading. If they start to really go downhill, trust your instincts against GPs (2 visits of which both told me it was only chickenpox and a floppy body was tiredness), and go to hospital. Even there, you will need to advocate for your child (you will also get tutted at by others). Only when I wailed to my husband on the phone to get to the waiting room quick because I thought my grey unconscious child was about to die, did 4 doctors crowd round and drips got put in asap. It was touch and go. We had been in hospital 9 or 10 hours by that stage. It took 7 weeks to get over.

No other child in the class had it as bad as my children. They were all fine, other than a few scars as mementos.

The research shows that those most at risk are immunocompromised or have underlying health conditions. It is exceptionally rare for otherwise healthy children to be impacted long term by chicken pox.

CorduroySituation · 07/03/2025 12:04

Glorybox2025 · 07/03/2025 07:44

And this is why punctuation is important!

Oh yes.

I was expecting to see lots of replies slating OP for scheduling a "chickenpox party".

Commas matter!

Hermyknee · 07/03/2025 12:51

Ritzybitzy · 07/03/2025 11:56

The research shows that those most at risk are immunocompromised or have underlying health conditions. It is exceptionally rare for otherwise healthy children to be impacted long term by chicken pox.

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The consultant (we saw years ago) said that was true of adults but not of children to actually have chickenpox badly and be hospitalised. I don’t know about long term affects. There’s two on this thread whose previously healthy children have been affected long term. Obviously we are going to take chicken pox more seriously and post. Luckily most children don’t get it badly or are affected long term.

I asked the consultant whether there was a genetic link to affect my children very badly (who were otherwise healthy). Everyone else seemed to have it mildly. I had measles, mumps and chicken pox as a child and chicken pox was the worst for me. He didn’t think there was a genetic link it was just being unlucky.

edit: I was thinking back to the conversation and he said immunocompromised children were vaccinated against it so he was seeing previously healthy children. Which makes sense.

Ritzybitzy · 07/03/2025 13:18

Hermyknee · 07/03/2025 12:51

The consultant (we saw years ago) said that was true of adults but not of children to actually have chickenpox badly and be hospitalised. I don’t know about long term affects. There’s two on this thread whose previously healthy children have been affected long term. Obviously we are going to take chicken pox more seriously and post. Luckily most children don’t get it badly or are affected long term.

I asked the consultant whether there was a genetic link to affect my children very badly (who were otherwise healthy). Everyone else seemed to have it mildly. I had measles, mumps and chicken pox as a child and chicken pox was the worst for me. He didn’t think there was a genetic link it was just being unlucky.

edit: I was thinking back to the conversation and he said immunocompromised children were vaccinated against it so he was seeing previously healthy children. Which makes sense.

Edited

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Immunocompromised children are not vaccinated against it. It’s a live vaccine. They cannot have it.

It is absolutely true. Immuncompromised children are treated for it if they get any symptoms and in many cases given treatment as a preventative measure if exposed. That’s how vulnerable they are. The reason there is a higher rate amongst children without condition is because they aren’t aggressively treated. If immunocompromised children aren’t treated the death rate sits at 10%.

Hermyknee · 07/03/2025 13:29

Ritzybitzy · 07/03/2025 13:18

Immunocompromised children are not vaccinated against it. It’s a live vaccine. They cannot have it.

It is absolutely true. Immuncompromised children are treated for it if they get any symptoms and in many cases given treatment as a preventative measure if exposed. That’s how vulnerable they are. The reason there is a higher rate amongst children without condition is because they aren’t aggressively treated. If immunocompromised children aren’t treated the death rate sits at 10%.

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Weird. Maybe he meant vulnerable children? I don’t know. I know he said he was getting previously healthy children in. I was very sleep deprived at the time and it was over a decade ago. I was asking if I could have done anything different because at that point we didn’t know the prognosis and I was blaming myself for not making a scene in A&E a few days earlier. Happy to be corrected. But even happier that they are bringing in a vaccine. It could have helped at least 2 families (who had previously healthy children) on this thread.

Hermyknee · 07/03/2025 13:52

Can I also add that I owe a debt of gratitude to mumsnetters all those years ago who told me to ignore the first two GPs who told me off as it was ‘just chickenpox’ and get a third opinion.

passionflower50 · 15/03/2025 09:50

2 years ago we lost our beautiful 6.o th old gra dson to sepsis after contracting chci Ken pox these people don't realise how dangerous chicken pox is they pught to BE shamed

Apollo365 · 15/03/2025 11:15

Is your child better now Op?

Daffiesmeanspring · 15/03/2025 15:02

passionflower50 · 15/03/2025 09:50

2 years ago we lost our beautiful 6.o th old gra dson to sepsis after contracting chci Ken pox these people don't realise how dangerous chicken pox is they pught to BE shamed

So sorry for you and your family 💐