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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son has chickenpox party scheduled for next week

125 replies

Cliffordthbigreddog · 07/03/2025 07:34

Hi guys,

My son was sent home yesterday from nursery with chickenpox and we have a birthday party planned for him next Saturday (8 days away).

Should we cancel, or go ahead as planned?

Has anyone else experienced this? Should it have cleared up by then?

AIBU to go ahead with the party.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
boulevardofbrokendreamss · 07/03/2025 07:54

Eats shoots and leaves

Eats, shoots and leaves

Anyway I think it's tight, Dts were not scabbed over for two weeks.

CleanShirt · 07/03/2025 07:55

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 07/03/2025 07:54

Eats shoots and leaves

Eats, shoots and leaves

Anyway I think it's tight, Dts were not scabbed over for two weeks.

Let's eat Grandma.

Let's eat, Grandma.

RaspberryRipple2 · 07/03/2025 07:57

I would wait and see whether he’s back at nursery by then or not.

Areolaborealis · 07/03/2025 07:57

Where is the party and what is the activity? If its outdoor play and hosted by you then it may be fine, swimming and professional face paint maybe not. Does the venue have a cancellation policy? They might be more accommodating if you phone in advance and explain that your child may be contagious - they might prefer that you reschedule.

Ellie1015 · 07/03/2025 08:12

Contact the venue. It might be possible to reschedule, if it is i definitely would. If not I would take chance and see if scabbed over in time. Both of mine were over a week though.

Even if scabbed over I would give parents a heads up in case any one is being very cautious due to vulnerable relatives etc.

cheddercherry · 07/03/2025 08:16

Give the parents a heads up, it can still be risky for some people who are pregnant/ immunosuppressed etc and let them make a call about whether they come. They aren’t always just bothersome spots and scabs for some people.

StampOnTheGround · 07/03/2025 08:20

You should be fine by then. Mine was sent home from nursery on the Tuesday and was back his activities by the Monday and nursery on the Tuesday.

Yes still scabby, but not infectious!

Beeloux · 07/03/2025 08:26

I would send a warning out to parents and inform them you will keep them updated. If not too costly I would maybe consider postponing it to the following week?

I had to postpone ds2 party last week due to a sickness bug, it sucks but what to do!

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 07/03/2025 08:28

Yeah no one’s coming to that party if they know he’s had the pox and likely his friends have caught it anyway.

SchoolDilemma17 · 07/03/2025 08:29

I wouldn’t send my child to this party. And they are vaccinated. You need to let the parents know or postpone.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 07/03/2025 08:32

Bloodybrambles · 07/03/2025 07:43

Wasn’t chickenpox parties used to be a thing? I think I was deliberately sent on a play date with a girl with chicken pox.

Yes, I recall this too!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pox_party

Pox party - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pox_party

Timetochillnow · 07/03/2025 08:33

friends from nursery may have caught it from him and will be a few days behind so your numbers may drop anyway and others may avoid if mums are pregnant
too many variables for me so I’d postpone

Having said that we had to cancel a 5 yr olds party due to sickness overnight - iced cakes freeze well!!

RampantIvy · 07/03/2025 08:34

I agree that the issue might be that the invited children may have chicken pox or incubating it, so postponing might be a better idea.

NotSoFar · 07/03/2025 08:35

AllyDally · 07/03/2025 07:40

Me too, a time when punctuation does really matter 🤣

My DS go chicken pox day before his 1st birthday, we cancelled but said anyone whose DC has had it can come round. I wasn't going to be responsible for passing it on, in some instances it can be life threatening/changing and I wouldn't take that chance unnecessarily.

Show quote history

Yes. DS kept not getting it despite two different waves in school (we got nervy as we realised after getting a note from school that neither of us had had it in childhood), and one of our neighbours who was in his class was hospitalised with a very bad attack — I think internal ulceration of some pox, or something, poor girl. It can be very serious in adults. We ended up all three of us getting the vaccine privately, but definitely make sure all parents of invitees are fully informed, whatever you decide.

AllyDally · 07/03/2025 08:37

NotSoFar · 07/03/2025 08:35

Yes. DS kept not getting it despite two different waves in school (we got nervy as we realised after getting a note from school that neither of us had had it in childhood), and one of our neighbours who was in his class was hospitalised with a very bad attack — I think internal ulceration of some pox, or something, poor girl. It can be very serious in adults. We ended up all three of us getting the vaccine privately, but definitely make sure all parents of invitees are fully informed, whatever you decide.

Show quote history

There was a poster on here many years ago whose toddler got it and had life changing side effects from it, also dangerous for pregnant women potentially so I would never be blasé about it.

Drfosters · 07/03/2025 08:41

The funny thing is though we all want our kids to get chicken pox at some point whilst children so that they have had it and are immune. It is worse to get as an adult and unless you go for the vaccine getting it in a controlled fashion is surely the best way? So in a way knowingly exposing your child is better than them getting it randomly?

as it happens my daughter did unknowingly go to a pox party and the whole party subsequently came down with it. I actually was thankful that it happened when she was 6 rather in the middle of term rather than a time when she was doing exams or had something important going on.

it is strange in the Uk as kids are routinely vaccinated for most big illnesses- chicken pox is the one which is left out.

Shintoland · 07/03/2025 08:46

He'll probably not be infectious by then, but if the rest of the guests are nursery friends some of them are likely to still be infectious and/or ill.

I think anyone with a well child would have to assume high risk of infection or stay away, and some of those who are ill probably won't be able to come. Play it by ear but I would delay the party if you can.

Chickenpox went through our nursery like wildfire. There were only 4 children in one day. There is a long incubation period, often 2 weeks from exposure to first spot so you can't predict now who will be ill next week.

Roseshavethorns · 07/03/2025 08:49

My youngest two had the most drawn out case of chicken pox. Every time I thought that they had all scabbed over a new one would appear. They had it together (literally started the same day) and they were really miserable with it.
I would leave it a few days and see how he is feeling before making a decision.
If chicken pox is going round the nursery you will have some no-shows. If you do decide to go ahead make sure all the parents know that it has been going around because there is every chance that one of the friends attending from nursery may be infectious.

Daffiesmeanspring · 07/03/2025 08:50

It's not just the kids they will have parents with them and some are likely to be pregnant mothers.

Karatema · 07/03/2025 08:51

Both my DS went to play with friends for them to catch chickenpox (get it over and done with)! Didn't work.

peachescariad · 07/03/2025 08:53

I actually clicked on this to find out what a 'chickenpox party' was.....do you know how to use a comma?

Happystrider1 · 07/03/2025 08:54

My DS was about a week after they came out so he was scabbed all over. I'd been taking him on the school run and keeping him at arms length from everyone so all knew. However I sent a courtesy message a couple of days before explaining DS had chickenpox incase anyone needed to pull out. A couple of women in early pregnancy messaged back saying they would avoid which was fine.

For most people chicken pox is fine but I think warning people and letting them make a decision on their own health is fine. FWIW DH is immunosuppressed and caught chickenpox off our kids. Put him in hospital for a few days but we are generally of the opinion if people have infectious diseases it's just polite to let people know.

JoyousEagle · 07/03/2025 08:55

Let the other parents know but they'll probably all be scabbed over by mid next week, in which case he'll be back at nursery on Friday anyway.

Obviously if they're not all scabbed over you'll probably have to cancel (although I'd happily take my DC to someone's house if they had chickenpox, as we've all had it).

Jasmine222 · 07/03/2025 09:01

My son gave chickenpox to his baby cousin 10 days after his first spot - one spot on his foot hadnt yet scabbed over and we didnt realize. I think 7 days is cutting it fine and you should let the parents know

ParrotParty · 07/03/2025 09:01

Let the parents know, but he'll be back at school by then likely anyway.
Do you have a class WhatsApp group? It can be helpful with chickenpox to let other parents know it's going around as it's most infectious as the first spots are coming up, and they can be missed if someone sees the initial 1-2 beginning and assumes they're bug bites or eczema at first.