'that £340 is too expensive for a staycation ?

[Isitameproblem]

My friend decided that she wants to have one night in a nice spa hotel for one night. So far so good. They can leave their kids at home, but we can't, so hers is only £225 whereas ours is £340, no spa treatment, just bed and breakfast.

Isn't that a bit too steep?

I agree that's not a good use of your money - for that much I would expect a luxury room with a beautiful view, some gorgeous food and peace and quiet. As long as I had the pool/whirlpool I wouldn't be that fussed about other treatments, although a massage is nice.

I don't think either you or your friend will get the relaxing vibe with your 5 year old there. Possibly a better use of your money to look into paid child care for the day (assuming that you don't have friends or family to help out) and then do a day at the spa with your friend if it's only 20 minutes away.

a) not a nanny but a DM that doesn't really speak English

b) she wants to take her DH, it has never been suggested it would be a "girls only" thing

Why can’t her 24/7 childcare look after your child too, if she wants you there so badly?

Are her child and your child friends? Could her child not translate for your child as and when needed?

Oh. Just seen you have a husband! Surely he stays at home with your DC while you go away with your friend then? Don't even understand your issue here - assumed you were a single parent. If you don't have the money at all, that's fine, just tell your friend, but I don't see where the child care is coming into it.

I think it’s a lot of money if one of you would need to stay in the room for a while and look after your child. Seems like a lot to stay fairly close to home and not actually enjoy everything on offer. Is there anyone who could watch your child for a few hours so you could enjoy some spa treatments?

If it was me then I’d put forward the idea of a girls day/ night and try enjoy a bit of a break.

Because she wants to bring her husband! It's not a "girls only" break

Her children are much older than mine, and find him a "baby". Plus, our 5yo has never spent a night without both of us.

After your update about your husband not even wanting to go I think you’re not really left with much option beyond just saying no.

Friend can want what she wants but it doesn’t mean it has to happen.

It’s not really suitable or appropriate to take your 5 year old, your husband doesn’t want to go or spend that much so really it’s just you feeling you have to all go just because you can’t/ won’t tell your friend no?

Kids do eat free if under 5 and they let, actually encouraged, my 6YO to eat free from the children’s buffet area. The play area was decent. The kids pool is quite large- there’s the water play bit, a big slide and then a separate kids proper swimming bit which is sizeable enough to actually swim. And the ponies are still there- you pay for riding obviously but it’s a kid’s activity. And 2 hours of kids club a day for free. Those things may not be that appealing to you guys, and that’s fine! My point was just that they’re definitely marketing the hotel towards families and it is not one of those spa hotels that seem to actively discourage kids. So if you did want to bring him then that’s not something you’d need to worry about 😀

Of course if you don’t want to go because it’s too expensive, there’s a mismatch between what your kid free friends want to do and what you’ll be able to do with a 5YO in tow but equally going on your own would be awkward when they’re going as a couple - then that’s all fine and just don’t go. I really like the hotel and rate it for a family break but under the circumstances you describe I totally get why you might want to decline as it’s just a bit of mismatch and you guys unfortunately can’t match their adults only couples vibe!

Ok, so you, her and her husband go. Your DH doesn’t want to go. Your DC will get nothing out of it. Don’t bring them.

Does your husband have to go?

You definitely think we're going to another place.

Kids club is not free, it's around £25 for a 2 hour session, and definitely no ponies!!

Just apologise say no and suggest they come to you on the way/way back

”absolutely doesn’t work this time unless you want to make it a girls only thing?”

Why can't you leave the five year old at home and just you go? I wouldn't be willing to spend that much for a hotel only twenty minutes away though.

It would be a polite no from me. I'd baulk at half that, and I am choosy about comforts in hotels.

Well, that's an easy No then

I personally wouldn't spend that but it's up to you and your budget. Also one night, I feel by the time you've checked in late and checked out early, you don't really get much time to enjoy it.

She's booking it with her husband, so problem solved! She offered to babysit too but it's her birthday, I'd rather give her the gift of no kids!

Just because she brings her husband doesn't mean that you need to bring yours.

The very, very, very obvious answer is that your DH stays at home with your 5yo and you go along with your friend and her husband.

Why do you keep ignoring this really obvious solution?

Otherwise, don't go at all. But bringing your 5yo along on an adult break is ridiculous and will ruin it for everyone. It wouldn't occur to me to do this, and I imagine your friend will be really pissed off if you ruin their child free break by dragging your kid along.

A staycation isn't staying at home:

a holiday spent in one's home country rather than abroad, or one spent at home and involving day trips to local attractions.

I had to google it as I thought I'd been using it wrong...

I’ve gone into the history of it upthread, and why I think this new meaning (dictionaries follow usage, they don’t dictate it) is pretty obnoxious as well as illogical.

I often spend that much and often more on a spa night away. It’s a treat and to me it’s worth it. However I’d never take my kids on a spa break. Most spa’s don’t let kids in so it seems a waste to stay in a spa hotel if you can’t use the facilities

We're planning to go to the Four Seasons in Hampshire
https://www.fourseasons.com/hampshire/services-and-amenities/family/
Am I going mad? 😬 I just checked in case it’s changed since we last went because it was a little while ago now and it’s all listed in the link above. Horseback riding. Complimentary Kids for All Seasons. Mini shetland pony grooming of Dougal and Milo who are super cute- my kids met Dougal, I have a photo! So no, I’m not thinking of somewhere else and pretty sure I’m not going insane…. Unless perhaps you’ve mentioned the wrong hotel name??

Yes At A LATER DATE - not this time with my friend.

Can't you leave your child at home with her dad? Why does he have to go with you and your friend if that means you have to take your child with you?