'that £340 is too expensive for a staycation ?

[Isitameproblem]

My friend decided that she wants to have one night in a nice spa hotel for one night. So far so good. They can leave their kids at home, but we can't, so hers is only £225 whereas ours is £340, no spa treatment, just bed and breakfast.

Isn't that a bit too steep?

Lots of nice hotel cost that sort of amount per night. It's just a question of what you want and are willing to pay for.

I wouldn't go for a spa break with a friend where I had a child in tow and she didn't. It will change the whole nature of the trip.

@Isitameproblem

With all the love in the world...is your friend having a mid life crisis?!

She doesn’t seem like she wants a child centred break since she’s leaving hers at home, and none of her suggestions would suit a 5 year old so I’d be either saying I can go alone, or not bother and she can find other child free people to party with. I’d never pay £300+ to take my child to a hotel they wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate. I’d rather spend that on a family focused weekend then dragging them to my friends spa day.

That's cheap for a hotel

Leave the kid at home with your husband and go by yourself. Tell her to ditch her husband.

On friends' spa weekends, kids and partners are entirely de trop.

No, don't think so. She just has never let her hair down, and thought her 40th birthday was a good day/excuse. So I get it from that POV. I'd totally go and have a drug/alcohol fueled weekend if I didn't have to look after kids, but I have a 5yo, so that will have to wait.

Four Seasons Hampshire is a kiddy paradise. A luxury kiddy paradise but still nevertheless overrun with small people! And the kids activities are amazing- the kids pool especially is so good! Great place to take your 5YO, they’ll love it, you’ll love it. And I think that’s absolutely amazing value for it- when we went with ours it was about £1000 a night for a suite.

Your friend is mad going there for a child free break though. But that’s her choice! I would go as a family, I don’t think you’ll regret it. And you can have adult spa time with your friend whilst the 5YO enjoys the kids club. I think it should work very well.

Just don’t go if you don’t have childcare. It won’t be much fun for anyone surely, of your friend is going with her husband without DCs then they will want an adult weekend with the spa, a nice dinner and drinks. You’re 5 year old won’t really fit in with those plans so you’ll be doing separate things anyway. Spend the money on a family holiday instead.

Staycation is staying in your own house and taking time of work to do day trips or whatever

If it’s only 20 minutes from your home £340 for bed and breakfast is an expense you can easily avoid by politely saying that since you can’t get child care for the whole time you will just join her for- spa or dinner or whatever you fancy?

I suggested (originally) an Airbnb with a hot tub. Then no childcare problems and it still feels like a mini break.

Just leave your husband at home with your child, and go by yourself. You'll have far more fun that way, and it'll be cheaper.

I'll be honest, I think it's really odd that you even considered taking a 5 year old on what is clearly meant to be an adult break. It would never have occurred to me to drag the kid along when one of you could stay home if no other childcare was available.

It's only a 2 hour stay. Last time we went to a hotel that offered something similar he didn't want to stay the second time. It was almost 2 years ago, so things might have changed

Why do your husband and child have to come? Why would they have come if you'd opted for the boozy Spain trip?

Are you all surgically attached or is there some other issue I'm not seeing?

Drunken nights out and spa trips only work without kids. Most people don't have 24/7b childcare so the obvious solution is the other parent.

Can't you go without your husband and he can look after your DC?

Although it's still expensive for a random night away. Better to put it towards a couple of nights so you can drink and lie in and lazy around the next day!

Why does your room cost more than her? Are you bringing the kids to a spa hotel? Defeats the object surely? Can't they stay at home with Dad?

I thought the two ladies would do a night away together, I did a girls night package with a friend with afternoon tea, dinner, spa and treatment and it was lovely ☺️

Because they have 24/7 childcare and we don't. (Plus I would never go back to Spain but that's a different matter).

I think they definitely see it as a "couples escapade"

I thought a stay-cation was a vacation in the same area/country you live in? Blimey, seems I've been getting that wrong for a while lol 😂

But you do have 24/7 childcare, because there are two of you and you could go alone leaving your DH to look after your shared child.

You’re paying for a different room type, not paying £120 to add the child. Standard double or twin rooms won’t allow 3 people in.

Yeah but they like going out on "double dates". We sometimes go out separately, but it's mostly joint experiences

My boyfriend and I just spend £174 for one night in a spa hotel, then £50 for the thermal experience (90 minutes sole use of hot tub and sauna), then £125 for 2 treatments each.
We also went out for dinner and that was £195 for the two of us.
So, for one night away in the highlands, it was my all that cheap! Seems to just be what it costs now:

I actually think that's cheap!

But you can't go on "double dates" with your 5 year old in tow. So that's not on the table regardless.

I expect they'd prefer adult only to hanging out with a 5yo

So, explain clearly, it is either you alone, or you can't go as you have no other childcare for your 5yo.