to not throw a birthday for 2nd child

[custardandpie]

I have DD1 and DD2. Their birthdays are 4 weeks apart. The eldest had 2 big birthdays and one smallish with family. The DD2 is about to turn one very soon. We've had multiple dinner parties recently and eldest childs birthday within the last month.
Now little one is about to turn 1 and I'm worried that we have exhausted ourselves. We can't even set a date as everyone we know is busy this month. I really fancy going to a lush restaurant in London and having a little celebration there for her just as a family.
AIBU? Will she resent not having a big 1st birthday? Will she throw this back in my face? This child is a little more clingy than her sister and prefers quiet surroundings.

For my twins' 1st birthday, I sat in my lounge with 6 friends with similar age DC, drank tea, munched cake and chatted whilst our DC all ignored each other.
Not particularly 'memorable', but a nice afternoon!

Absolutely no point in doing a 1st birthday party. We just spent it together. Start parties at 3.

What? She won't remember! 😆

As long as you have a little thing at home, balloon, maybe a cake, get a pic, sorted!

For a first birthday party, you need the following:

• 1st Balloon.
• Cake.
• Cute photo of baby with cake smooshed round their face and 1st balloon in the background.

That's it. Takes 5 minutes and they'll enjoy looking at the photo when they're older - mine does, anyway.

Job done and then you can have a nap, order a pizza and enjoy having saved hundreds of pounds.

Yes, this! My friend has children with birthdays really close together. We always celebrate.

I don't think it's a problem to not do a party (I personally hate hosting and find it awkward) as they're definitely for adults when turning one. We weren't bothered for DS but certain relatives expected it. We took son to a farm park on his birthday day which he really enjoyed then had a bit of a low key open door that weekend for relatives if they wanted to pop by. It wasn't a party - just some sandwiches and a cake for no more than a couple of hours. Do whatever suits your family but I still remember photos of my first birthday and my sister's so it might invite some questions in future if there are none of your second's first birthday.

It can be a biggie for the parents yes, not the child

I am in a similar situation to you actually!

For my second child's first birthday, I am going to decorate the dining room with balloons, a banner etc. cake, some nibbles on table. Then my partner, first child and I will dress up to do photos, blow out candles etc. with the birthday boy.

That way we will have something to show for it and it will be enjoyable. However we are not inviting people and making a big deal out of it.

We will then go out as a family probably to family friendly farm with petting animals and then pizza hut for food or get takeaway at home.

You could do something similar x

I took my second to a gorgeous restaurant for her first birthday (I do every year on her birthday, just the two of us) and it was such a gorgeous day. I also did a little party with friends and family at home with balloons, cake, champagne and a bit of food. Just do what's right for you; baby won't care.

I think DT’s were at nursery on their 1st birthday and we managed to avoid parties until they were at school. At the age of one they hadn’t eaten cake so an event would have been wasted on them.

Seems as parents want the big party to post on their social media?

I think the whole restaurant in London thing is more for you not her. What is wrong with a small tea at home and just invite some close family. Get some balloons and a cake?

It doesn't have to be expensive and just throw it out there to people and see who comes. To be honest, your DD won't remember it but I have photos from both my DD's very first Birthday and it is nice to show them the pictures of it when they get older.

when they look back at pictures. I was the youngest of 6 so have the least pics etc...
so maybe this is me thinking too much.

I definitely think you’re over thinking it. I’m from 5 kids and whenever we’ve looked back at pics I can honestly say I’ve never thought oh there’s more pics of my sisters birthday than mine.

edited to add if you are bothered about pictures take some at the restaurant or if you do cake at home, it’s still something for her to look back at

Pictures don't equal love, attention, experience, engagement etc

If you're worried about the photos just take a load when opening their presents, but I really don't think they are going to notice or care!

If it is something that has bothered you, perhaps it is indicative of a deeper issue of feeling less than for eg, rather than the cause.