To cancel surgery due to DC coldsore

[Mamamover]

Hey guys

As the title says. I have surgery in a couple of days. NHS, something i’ve been waiting for a number of years.

DC is 15 months old and has got what appears to be a coldsore on DC top lip.
I’m absolutely panic stricken and guilt ridden I feel like I should now cancel my surgery.

Why? Because I can’t police it. During nappy changes they always grab their bits and i’m so worried about them transferring to the nappy area. This can happen during a first coldsore outbreak as the body is still building up antibodies. My solution is to pop socks on DC hands during nappy changes while this is current.

DH has said to not be ridiculous and he will police it and go ahead with surgery. However I know DH will forget to pop the socks on DC hands and I just think I should just cancel because i’m going to be worried sick.

AIBU?

You'd be insane to cancel surgery for a cold sore, sorry! Go!

If you don't have the operation, you will have to wait longer again.

Don't cancel.

Sorry, but that's just not sensible on 2 levels. Trust your DH, do not cancel the operation, that's just madness, unless it is merely a cosmetic procedure

Don't cancel. Chances of it being a cold sore are small, and transferring it even less.

You want to waste all those NHS resources, potentially leaving a theatre slot free and thereby extending the already massive waiting list because your baby has a cold sore?

in the nicest possible way, don’t be daft. Go ahead with the surgery.

What?! Do you not trust your husband to do a nappy change?

Yeah sorry op, YABR (ridiculous). Trust your DH. I would be fuming if I was him.

Exactly this. Nobody in their right mind would cancel surgery.
And trust your poor husband - he is the child's parent too!

You would be mad to cancel surgery for something as minor as a cold sore on your child. You are not even sure it is a cold sore. I am baffled by your whole mindset here.

It sounds like it's anxiety talking. It'll be ok. Have the surgery.

Cancel how much can you need it if you’re prepared to miss your turn for a coldsore

Don’t be daft.

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on here, and that's saying something!

I'm guessing you are super anxious about the surgery and looking for any excuse (even if bonkers) to put it off.

First child?? Never heard anything so daft. Please don’t cancel your surgery. Are you nervous about it and trying to put it off (subconsciously)?

There is definitely HA behind this. Please have your surgery and seek support.

Ah, a bit of AS here. OP has severe health anxiety and OCD relating to contamination and also cold sores. Add is October she'd never even kissed her one year old 🥺

I hope she has since got the poor child's sake, but clearly there is a lot going on here.

OP, this is your OCD talking, your child is at no risk. Please have your surgery.

You are being utterly ridiculous.

Not only would cancelling be an utter pisstake to the already over stretched NHS but it’s completely undermining your DH as a capable grown up and parent!

If you carry on undermining him and treating him like an incapable parent he’ll resent you and in the end, leave.

I’m sorry, I’ve read some mad things on here but this takes the biscuit.

OP by your own admission you are having surgery that you had waited a number of years for. How long do you think you’ll have to wait if you decline it now for a cold sore? Let your husband look after your baby and have the surgery.

This is madness but reading some of the above posts suggests that you won't take any heed of everyone telling you you are being ridiculous but please don't waste precious NHS resources, there will be someone who isn't getting an op they need if you cancel. I hope it isn't any one I care about

No, you don't know that your husband will forget. You just willingly made yourself a default parent. A few years down the line this will lead to him not doing bed times or school drop offs or refusing to take your child to clubs or not knowing what size shoes they wear. Stop this right now by allowing him to do parenting. Go and have your surgery. They will both be fine.

Also, they can just as easily transfer virus on the socks as they can with bare hands so the whole enterprise is irrational to begin with.

It sounds really stressful OP, You can always get the little plaster covers to reduce the risk too just for while your in surgery that day.. But yep this isnt a good reason to cancel. Cold sore is unlikely to transfer and you're taking firm precautions to avoid too. It'll be less contagious once it's drying too :)

You are contemplating cancelling an operation you have waited years for so you can be there to make sure you're husband puts socks on baby's hands during nappy changes?? Absolute madness. If you do cancel because of this you do not deserve to have it rescheduled.

Ffs OP, give your head a wobble and talk to a friend.
Obviously you need support and this really isn't the place to get it.
A cold sore is a cold sore and you probably have come into contact with it anyway.
The Herpes virus association have very good info and a helpline if you feel you need it.