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Original poster

Best option for monitoring daughter's movements while I'm at work?

40 replies

feedmefudge · 04/03/2025 19:12

I am having a hard time of it with my 15 year old daughter. Today she thought it would be a good idea to sack off school and have her boyfriend over. She then lies when I ask her about it. It is not the first time this has happened. The problem is that I work full-time (single parent) and cannot fully keep on top of what goes on when I'm not here.
Obviously there will be consequences for today. However it's really difficult second guessing her movements and I need proof. So I'm thinking of getting a doorbell camera. But I don't know if this is what I need. Would an outdoor security camera be better? I really need something that links up to my phone, so that I can check she has left on time for school, isn't coming home early, etc.
I'm not great with tech so would really appreciate your advice. And it would be great if we could stick to the question. The school story is a long one, so I'd rather focus on the camera thing. And obviously the ideal would be that I wouldn't need to do this at all! But for now anyway, the trust has gone, and I'm doing my best to try and manage the situation.
Thank you.

OP posts:
HolySchmokes · 04/03/2025 19:13

Do you not track her mobile phone?

That would be the key thing for me. Google maps, find my, life 360.

If she turns it off she loses it. Presumably you pay for it. I don’t know a teenager alive who isn’t surgically attached to their mobile.

HeyDoodie · 04/03/2025 19:15

ring doorbell

MarchingintoSpring · 04/03/2025 19:15

My teen uses Life360 so I have it too. It helped that all of her friends use it to see where each other is.

Ring doorbell for home.

BodyKeepingScore · 04/03/2025 19:16

Set Google family link up on her phone. You can track location that way.

Sinkintotheswamp · 04/03/2025 19:18

Unless you've already got family link or life360 I'm not sure you can add her without her agreeing. Mine have had them since they started senior school. They can see me too.
A ring doorbell is handy though.

JimHalpertsWife · 04/03/2025 19:19

Take her door key off her and make her leave the house with you on a school morning?

Unicorn34 · 04/03/2025 19:20

My family has Life360 - we are all adults and use it as a bit of a game but it also puts our minds at rest.

MyrtleLion · 04/03/2025 19:35

I hardly think monitoring her remotely will restore trust. It will just create resentment. You could try talking kindly to her and ask her what's going on in her life. Find the root of the problem, not add to it.

Original poster
feedmefudge · 04/03/2025 19:35

Thank you all. The problem with the phone trackers is that it doesn't allow me to see who is coming through my front door, like her boyfriend today (lovely boy, but I don't want them here during school hours!).
Goodness, it was all so much simpler when she was little.

OP posts:
Original poster
feedmefudge · 04/03/2025 19:36

MyrtleLion · 04/03/2025 19:35

I hardly think monitoring her remotely will restore trust. It will just create resentment. You could try talking kindly to her and ask her what's going on in her life. Find the root of the problem, not add to it.

Oh for goodness sake, do you not think I've tried everything under the sun?

OP posts:
IVFmumoftwo · 04/03/2025 19:36

I would be worrying about contraception too! 😬

stanleypops66 · 04/03/2025 19:36

Ring doorbell or blink. With the blink you get several small cameras so you can set it up in both the front and back door.

Original poster
feedmefudge · 04/03/2025 19:37

IVFmumoftwo · 04/03/2025 19:36

I would be worrying about contraception too! 😬

Sorted. I insisted upon it.

OP posts:
Original poster
feedmefudge · 04/03/2025 19:38

stanleypops66 · 04/03/2025 19:36

Ring doorbell or blink. With the blink you get several small cameras so you can set it up in both the front and back door.

Thank you. Fortunately our back door would never be used. Long story again, but it's more tricky logistically.

OP posts:
biscuitsandbooks · 04/03/2025 19:39

Take her key off her/change the locks.

Everything0Everywhere · 04/03/2025 19:42

I dont think removing her key/changing locks is a good idea...!
Ring Doorbell sounds good or Echo Show to view inside the house.

Teenybub · 04/03/2025 19:44

I have a battery powered ring doorbell, need to charge it maybe monthly but otherwise it’s perfect. Linked to the wifi and nudges me when people are in the garden. Needed to drill 3 holes into the brick outside for the case and then it just screws in, wouldn’t exactly say I’m a pro with a drill but it took me 15 minutes.

AelinAG · 04/03/2025 19:47

Ring doorbells are easy enough to use, although you’ll need to pay the yearly subscription as well. Have a look at Eufy - similar but no subscription. I’ll be moving over to them when my ring doorbell dies.

Zanatdy · 04/03/2025 19:48

Yeah a ring will be the best way to monitor who goes in and out.

Bearbookagainandagain · 04/03/2025 19:59

Ring security cameras are good. We don't have the doorbell one, but use their standard outdoor cameras as baby monitors. They can be set up to send alerts when they detect movement.
We put them on the window seal when we go on holiday so they monitor access to the front door/driveway too.

I guess it depends what you need, if you have any use for the "doorbell" feature then go for that. If not, then a standard security camera gives your more options IMO (inside, outside, sticked on the wall or stood on a shelf...).

Original poster
feedmefudge · 04/03/2025 19:59

Thank you all. I appreciate your replies.

OP posts:
Bearbookagainandagain · 04/03/2025 20:00

AelinAG · 04/03/2025 19:47

Ring doorbells are easy enough to use, although you’ll need to pay the yearly subscription as well. Have a look at Eufy - similar but no subscription. I’ll be moving over to them when my ring doorbell dies.

You don't need a subscription if you don't want to keep the recording.

We don't pay anything and have access to live view and alerts. We just can record.

RedHelenB · 04/03/2025 20:04

What is she like at school? Does she have ambition?

elozabet · 04/03/2025 20:05

I used life 360 with my troublesome daughter in the mid teens. If she turned it off, the phone was removed (we only had to do this once). It worked well.
Now she's 20 and not so troublesome, she uses it to track us. She likes a lift home and checks where we are !
We did plan to stop using it but she likes it.

MyrtleLion · 04/03/2025 20:06

feedmefudge · 04/03/2025 19:36

Oh for goodness sake, do you not think I've tried everything under the sun?

Show quote history

Then aren't you lucky that modern surveillance exists!

Say you find she's off school and with her boyfriend, which you managed to find out anyway? What do you do? And will what you do make her feel that you care about her or just want to control her?

Maybe she'll go off the rails some more.
Maybe she'll stop coming home.
Maybe she'll go to his place.
Maybe she'll become even more secretive.

You are building a massive problem for yourself. If you don't trust her how can she come to you and ask for help if something goes wrong?

It's like micro managing in the workplace. It creates resentment and people leave.

But hey feel free to alienate your daughter forever.