Too strict?

[Expatinsingapore]

I was talking to my friend about a detention that her son had.
He is in year 9 and during a science lesson (when students were carrying chemicals) her son slapped another boys bum (more of a tap).
Her son was given an after school detention for this for sexual assault. AIBU that I think it is too harsh?

Well, it is sexual assault. Nobody gets to touch anybody else's bum without permission. It's also dangerous in a chemistry lab.

I dunno he slapped someone's arse that is absolutely sexual assault. What if he did it in the playground on the school bus in a pub when he Is 25? Nipping this in the bud young Is absolutely the way to go imo, he will survive a detention.

It's perfectly appropriate. That sort of behaviour isn't acceptable.

YABU

You seem to be forgetting that the detention is also for breaking health and safety rules.

If the school are taking it seriously enough to call it sexual assault (which it is), they should be contacting the police. We don’t young men being taught that such behaviour is not taken seriously.

YABU.
I don't suppose it was meant sexually but hitting someone else isn't ok, and doing it in a chemistry lab during practicals is completely unacceptable.

It's only a detention, not a really 'harsh' punishment.

Well if he wasn't being sexual he would've slapped him on the shoulder, not his arse 🤷‍♂️

Or do you feel it's only sexual if done to the opposite sex?

Yabu. It was sexual assault, and good on them for taking it seriously (as per a pp).

I had a phonecall once to let me know that someone had slapped my son on the bum (a peer, obviously!)

Seems fairly reasonable. I would support schools taking a very hard line on sexual assault, nip it in the bud before they're adults

I mean, I say “obviously”. If it was a teacher or other adult I would have felt much more strongly!

YABU

I'd say that was fair.

1. he shouldn't be hitting anyone
2. slapping on the bum is sexual assault. He does that anywhere as an adult he could face dismissal & charges.
3. He needs to observe safety procedures in a chemistry lab. Supposing the other boy had been carrying acid or holding a Bunsen burner.

I got a detention for eating an apple in the chemistry lab when I was the same age. They were quite right.

YABU - slapping someone's bum is sexual assault. Even if there was no sexual intent, he needs to learn to keep his hands to himself.

I think a detention is perfectly appropriate for hitting someone, even moreso when factoring in the foolishness of giving someone a fright while they're working with chemicals.

That's a shocking thing to do so I can't see an issue with having consequences

Does it make a difference that the two boys are friends?

I’m judging you OP for thinking a detention is “too harsh” for slapping someone else’s bum.

YABU and concerning

I’m sure if I smacked my friends bum she wouldn’t be happy, it’s fine right because we’re friends?

No difference. The school see slapping on the backside as sexual assault it is what it is,

No

All else aside, wrong time, wrong place

He should have been taught from a very early age that you don't touch the private areas of someone else's body without consent. He knew what he was doing and now he needs to suck up the consequences.

sounds like a massive overreaction on the part of the school IMO. Particularly given they are friends. Sounds like they were playing around.
That is life in today's Britain where the most mild of behaviour risks getting classed as abuse / predatory etc etc, particularly in state schools where in my experience they interpret this stuff to the most extreme degree and seem to apply no common sense. But then people lacking common sense and letting shlt bags like Jimmy Saville roam around the place is why we're here.
So your friend's son needs to stop 'tapping' people on the ar5e

You have to wonder what someone would get out of starting a thread about two boys allegedly slapping each other in the backside and then trying to justify this behaviour
How odd

I have lots of friends at work, they still can’t touch my bum! 😳 what’s friendship got to do with it? It’s inappropriate and he’s old enough to know better. In my DDs’ school they get detention for forgetting a pencil so I think this is completely appropriate for that behaviour. He’ll learn it’s not okay - seems you’re not going to teach this lesson. Does his mum agree with you?

I think they've been very lenient. My DCs school gives detention out for forgetting a sharpener. Risky behaviour in a lab and sexually inappropriate behaviour is much worse.

Four year olds know it's not OK to touch swim suit areas. Why doesn't a Year 9? Sexual assault is sexual assault. Stop being an apologist.