To ask about your favourite stage of parenting?

[Doingmybestbut]

I asked my DM and MIL what their favourite stage of parenting was recently. They both said when their children were five. I was a bit surprised, because that’s quite an early peak and suggests a long time of parenting children before adulthood when you’ve already had the best years! And I was also a bit sad because we’re almost at that stage already.

YABU: It’s more complicated than that/I had a different favourite parenting stage.
YANBU: DM and MIL were right, around the age of five was the best age IMO.

Mine are 28, 24 & 14. I would say every age has its magic. The baby & toddler years are great, as are the years of being excitedly greeted with a beautiful “sculpture” from school. But then again, the pride in seeing your child become a decent, well adjusted, happy adult is also priceless.

I couldn’t pick one age.

For me, the golden era was when both were at primary. They were fun but reasonably independent, went to sleep at a sensible time, could get up and watch crap on tv at weekends without needing to be watched like a hawk, problems with mates were easily solvable as a rule, homework was easy...and they were small enough to sit on my lap and cuddle!

They're now 20 and 16 and I love knowing them and watching them grow up but the problems are bigger, the homework is fucking impossible, I'm older so the menopause is not helping me deal with their hormonal shit, they cost a fortune, etc etc. Plenty of great bits at every stage but definitely primary school era was best for me.

I have to agree there are amazing things about every stage (though I haven't hit teens yet!) I'm in that primary ages bit at the moment and it's very easy and very fun in many ways.

But I really, really, and maybe will always, miss the years when I was a SAHM to <3 year old aged children. It all changed a bit when my oldest started preschool and we started needing to get people out the house on time every morning but before then life was just so free and so gentle. No rushing at all. I loved taking them to toddler groups, to parks, to the library, just little wanders around the neighbourhood which they found so endlessly fascinating. And through their eyes I saw the world with such a renewed interest. It was exhausting and yes there were night feeds and early starts and nappies but it was an absolute dream and I guess I'll never experience anything like that time again.

I couldn't choose a stage, I had parts I enjoyed and didn't enjoy at all ages to be honest.

I love the baby stage when they are so totally reliant on you, loved breastfeeding and the way their little hand would rest on your chest and they'd stare up at you, didn't like the lack of sleep.

Loved the toddler years because they were so funny, didn't like the mess or the tantrums that come a bit later.

Liked when they were little kids for the inquisitive nature and teaching them things, didn't like them being so strong willed when trying to get them to do things they didn't want to do.

Teens, I liked the chats we had and watching them grow in to an independent person, didn't like the worry it caused some times or seeing them have friendship/relationship/school struggles.

My eldest is an adult now and I'm enjoying watching her become an independent, hard working woman who is in a lovely relationship and has become really caring and considerate to us. I'm looking forward to seeing her graduating uni, getting a job, travelling, maybe get married and have children.

There is always things to enjoy and look forward to at every stage.

12+ and then into adulthood. I like it when you can have proper conversations. I realise I’m an outlier in this and that many people find young children interesting, but I find when they’re older they have much better chat.

Tbh our best times have been since DC2 has arrived and been on the move. Ages 2 and 7 are presently a winning combination for us. DC1 is quite chilled, sensible, enjoys a joke and requires much less supervision but DC2 is still.a bundle of squidgy cuteness. I'm finding the toddler stage much easier the second time around because DC1 "dilutes" DC2's neediness a lot and often plays happily with their sibling. The age gap helps, because DC1 often finds DC2's toddler grandstanding and annoying behaviour (like snatching toys and saying "mine!" to everything) incredibly funny. DC1 will quietly retreat if they want time alone so I don't have to manage much in the way of sibling clashes.

I loved all the stages so far, when I started replying I thought 5- 12 (ds is 14 now) but omg 0-5 was also wonderful and now he can come to gigs and shows and we enjoy tv and film together.l, so this stage is also amazing but I defo feel the twinge of teenage so am enjoying it while he still enjoys time with us.

I enjoyed most of it - but we were very close 13-18 - then they went rogue for a few years
Now they are grown up (30s) and we are close and supportive of each other