To ask about your favourite stage of parenting?

[Doingmybestbut]

I asked my DM and MIL what their favourite stage of parenting was recently. They both said when their children were five. I was a bit surprised, because that’s quite an early peak and suggests a long time of parenting children before adulthood when you’ve already had the best years! And I was also a bit sad because we’re almost at that stage already.

YABU: It’s more complicated than that/I had a different favourite parenting stage.
YANBU: DM and MIL were right, around the age of five was the best age IMO.

There’s something lovely in all of it and something difficult in all of it. My children are quite close in age and I enjoyed the pre school years when I had lots of time with them doing lovely things because I only worked a few hours a week. But holidays and trips became a lot more enjoyable in the primary school years.

Age 4/5 is the EASIEST but not necessarily the BEST. There's a saying "small kids, small problems, big kids, big problems" and for the most part that's true. Most 4/5 year olds are adorable, are mostly in a good eating and sleeping routine, they have problems that are big to them but not really big (I know there are children who are experiencing serious pain and trauma but I'm talking about the majority). As children get older and they start to get most of their self-esteem and affirmation from their peers it can be more difficult to parent - but also, if you're lucky, they can be cool, funny, smart people who you love being around and spending time with. But it can also bring such big worries... who are they having relationships with, are they keeping themselves emotionally, physically and sexually safe (because I can't do it anymore)? What are they doing online? The responsibility you feel as a parent watching your growing child on the precipice of adulthood can be utterly overwhelming.

My DS is four, I can see why it’s a great stage.

He is

Toilet trained ✔️
able to be reasoned with ✔️ (sort of)
can entertain himself ✔️
feed himself, needs help in the shower but only a bit ✔️

I can imagine next year he’ll be even easier. But he still is easily entertained with a visit to a park or a little farm, there’s still lots of wonder in the world, I’m not yet embarrassing. It’s a lovely age. DD is 20 months - now god spare me toddlers!

With DD1 age 3-5. With DD2 tbc

From the age of about 4-9 I would say.

My eldest is 7, and this is probably my favourite age so far.

She's very mature and has a really good sense of humour. She likes doing more grown up things, enjoys doing the things I like to do and we all sit and watch TV together. She understands the more grown up programmes and really enjoys watching them.

I think the newborn phase is also amazing because you're in that baby bubble.

I loved 6, 7 & 8. She is 11 now and of course I love her, but the hormones ouch. And that first term at secondary has hit very hard. Age 6-8 she was just lovely

I found the baby period very tough & had severe lack of sleep 😴 but from then onwards I've loved every stage. He's 18 this year & life is not perfect but he's just lovely and I'm so proud of him. He's pulling away a bit now (naturally), it's tough but wonderful at the same time.

About 4-5ish. They were more independent than toddlers, but still needed lots of love, cuddles and attention. They were in preschool 15 hours a week so I got a little break, but on their days off we would do lots of fun things. I felt really good in myself at that stage aswell.
Now they are late primary/early secondary age and unfortunately I'm not finding it much fun. I feel very lost.

As far as I am concerned, each stage is better than the last.

I was pretty relieved to move away from the no sleep years.

Mine are all adults now, and it is a wonderful time. But then I think the student years were better than teens, and I think the teen stage was pretty awesome.

I'd agree with 5-7. Pure fun.

I still enjoy being a parent now, we have loads of fun still, but if I had to pick a time that would be it

Every age my children are at is genuinely my favourite.

I loved the newborn and baby stage, loved them as toddlers when they were just so cute, the early primary years were great fun. Currently 8 and 12 and they are great ages! With my 12 year old DD we do so much together now she is older, go for runs, go out for coffee and cake, concerts. DS is still quite little and has such a great sense of humour but old enough to go on hikes and long bike rides. They are both independent enough that I don’t feel I’m running around after them!

I love their ages right now.

I do look back fondly on their last pre-school year, aged 4. They were fun and curious and eager to learn- and had a bit of sense and reason too. They were interesting to play with and be around.
My DH died when they were 4 and 9, so after that has always been hard. Maybe I'd have fonder memories of later years but it was all such a difficult slog.

I don't think I have a favourite stage. I did love having newborns - the smell of them, the oxytocin high of breastfeeding, the perfect excuse to sit and cuddle them on the sofa ☺️ and I was young then so could cope with the lack of sleep! Looking back to when my youngest was born, we had just moved to a new town, DH was working away and I had 5 children under 10 - it was madness and I was knackered by the end of the day but I was happy with my little gang. I enjoyed the teenager years (mostly) because they are so interesting and funny and good company! Although feeding them and all their hungry mates was a challenge as was getting them to all their various activities!

Now they are all grown men and I still love their company!

I've loved this thread. My DD is only 13 months and it's tough but also so rewarding and in some ways, I can't imagine anything being better than this. She's cuddly, she's learning new things all the time and takes such pleasure from the simplest of things. To see so many people say it gets better ... wow.

I think there's been great bits all the way through. Having a newborn is incredible because they're finally there and safe in your arms. A young baby changes so much every day, an older baby and every week they're doing something new. Toddlers show their personality and can do more, they're so funny, and there are so many firsts. Preschoolers can do craft activities, and you get to see them starting to build little friendships and learn so much. All of those times are wrapped up in some challenging, tiresome behaviours and sleep deprivation.

Finally, in the primary years, everything feels easier, as you're sleeping through the night, you get to have interesting conversations with them, they're more independent, and you get to enjoy lots of fun places with them. Covid ruined the end of this stage for me as everywhere was shut and all the activities and kids clubs were cut short. I feel robbed for myself and them.

Teens, I got to relax a bit and have more time to myself as you don't have to entertain them so much anymore. They're busy with their own things, which is lovely to see but also a bit bittersweet. I started to worry more about real-life issues for them. I also felt the realisation that they could only have a few more years at home and that you've completed this whole parenting journey. It sort of hit me all of a sudden, but I think this was somewhat brought on by Covid and all that time we spent at home together and how life almost felt like it stood still for a while.

The moving out stage 😂

I have loved each bit as it's come.

Mine are 5 & 8 now and just quite fun, eldest can go for a knock about at the tennis court and actually hit the ball. They can read, and work the telly, get themselves a drink or snack, help cook, play a proper board game. I can see the people they are becoming.

5-7 is my favourite too but I've got a baby all the way to teenagers and honestly every stage is rewarding. It's just 5-7 is more fun.

I love having teenagers for example. It's brilliant. Some people hate it. I'm not a fan of the toddler stage because it's all so relentless but I'd never skip over it, I love it in its own way. It's just the time I'm the most worried, stressed and time poor as it's that awkward phase of learning to communicate and hyper energetic.

I loved the baby stages for the new baby smells and cuddles etc but it honestly nearly killed me. Eldest is now almost 16 and he's a delight. I keep waiting for the moody, rude teenager I expected to have, but no sign yet. Youngest is 8 & adorable. I'm his favourite person in the world, so he says. I suspect he sometimes says the same to DH though when I'm not around. DD is 11 & proving to be the trickiest so far. I think puberty has hit her harder and more abruptly than DS1, & she's struggling a bit with some friendships. My heart breaks for her. But she's still a lovely girl at home. No trouble or rudeness. Just less confident than her brothers. It's a tricky age.

Primary school years.

Bedtime.

I am not sure I can give an age I feel you always gain something and as they get older you lose something too

seeing ds become a young man is wonderful, yes he is moody teenager at times but he is experiencing the world differently and that great to see

I miss him holding my hand, calling me mummy and being the centre of his world but I love our conversations and seeing him enjoying early adulthood

Current stage which is 15 and 12. I love how they know their own minds, interesting to talk to, they're our friends, we have shared hobbies, they help out around the house. It's very rewarding. Like primary years well. I've basically found it progressively better from 4+ really.

(For balance they're pains in the asses too, and the fighting is irritating, but that's been pretty consistent through the years tbh, at least I can ground them now 😂)