Mortgage and starting over at 60..

[SlaveToAGoldenRetriever]

AIBU to wonder how the hell I’m meant to do this?!

Currently in the middle of a messy divorce - massively delayed as ex-H is refusing to play ball and has not supplied full financial documentation. Court date is planned for April and my solicitor thinks that the equity from the house is likely to be spilt 50/50. H paid the mortgage and the vast majority of the deposit, I paid all other household bills + expenses. H earns ~£100k per year, I earn ~£45k.

If things do go the way that my solicitor predicts I will get around £100k of the house funds. I’m in credit card debt due to having to rent for so long (we’ve been separated since 2022!) so £20k of that will have to go to paying off my debts before I even think about a house deposit. Any decent semi in our area is about £250k - at this rate I feel like I’m going to be stuck renting forever, how on earth am I meant to get a mortgage or afford this? All I want is to be able to settle down with a front door to call my own. I’ve got a young adult DD to support as well and all I can think about is how I’ve failed as a mother. So bloody depressing.

Will he come after your pension?

If he doesn't have one?

The Judge will take his 6 figure savings and earnings into account if he tries this. Plus the shortness of the marriage - most of OP's pension will have been built up beforehand.

OP - give London & County a call. They are very good at finding mortgages to suit your needs i.e. a mortgage that you can carrying on paying when you get your pension.

This might not sound ideal but look at it this way, you'll soon have exH out of your life and your DD is feeling well enough to make plans for uni. Spring is on its way, time for you to look forward to having a home for you and DD, the dog and cats. Bung some daffodils in a vase, make a cup of tea, ring L&C and start planning.

All the best, OP.

First thing I'd do is to try and pay off that credit card debt even if that means taking a loan. You should get a much better rate. Unless you are switching the debt to 0% credit cards but even then you pay a fee and you run out of cards you can transfer to in the end (well I did anyway!)

Re the mortgage, have a look at retirement mortgages. They are interest only so lower monthly payments and you should be able to borrow about 50% of the value of the property maybe a bit more. I'd then think about cashing in your private pension or taking a lump of it out if you can which, depending on what it's worth, could just about get you a £250k semi.

Obviously, I don't know your situation and that might be terrible advice but something to ask your financial advisor about.

How old is your adult daughter and why do you need to support her financially?

What about getting a lodger to help cover the mortgage?

It sounds like OPs superior pension situation is being used to offset a bigger share of equity.

I had to leave a large four bed house when I divorced and now I live in a small house further from the centre of the city.

Could you get a ground floor flat with access to garden? Or move to a cheaper area? Personally I’d choose those options over shared ownership or renting a bigger house.

Certain flats will allow pets. Share of freehold and smaller blocks tend to be more flexible than ones with large corporate managing agents.

Just check he won't be entitled to that property you buy. You need to resolve finances before you inherit ideally.

Why would they have to be removed? People keep cats and dogs in flats.

DD is turning 21, off to uni in Sept and her maintenance loan should just about cover accommodation by the look of things. Obviously her part time job will cover some of the shortfall for other expenses but due to the nature of the course + placements she won’t be able to work much during term time.

This all sounds quite vague (possibly because of non disclosure on your husband’s part). But before you go to court you should have a clear idea of the value of all assets including pensions, savings, equity in house and all debts. Your solicitor also needs to know this to advise you and should be helping / advising on how to get the necessary information. Your solicitor’s argument may be that pensions were mostly built up pre marriage so should be excluded but I would think you would still need a valuation and to know how much was accumulated during the marriage.

A judge wouldn’t just deal with the split of equity in the house without considering other assets.

I'm recently separated and from a longer marriage with shared DC so I won't comment on your likely settlement, I did however take out a mortgage at age 58.

It's about approving affordability when retired that will be the point. My current mortgage is until age 75 but some lenders will allow you until 80. You have an nhs pension plus state pension so you should have affordability depending on when you choose to retire. The sticking point may be between retirement from NHS prior to state pension kicking in at 67.

I'd get a broker and see what they can find you. I was initially going with first direct who will go to just before you turn 80 but in the end they wouldn't count my Sipp as income so I got a broker and now with Nat West who go to age 75.

You can do some modelling online to see likely offers and if that will give you enough.

Dog is young and a large breed - well exercised but needs a garden/outdoor space to toilet and run off excess energy in. We’d struggle without.

Cats have been used to free access via cat flap to the outdoors for their entire life - realistically in a flat they’d need to be kept indoors. They wouldn’t be happy.

Does dd have to move away for university? it would be cheaper if she could live at home with you.

Or, Could she defer an extra year and work and build savings? It’s often a huge benefit to have the maturity from working before heading into a degree course.

Some specialist lenders provide mortgages to unusual applicants and the only way you can get to these deals is via a broker. Find a mortgage broker and ask. It’s worth the fees!

In my area, there are a load of alms house/widow's cottages. They are modest terraced houses and bungalows that are let via a charity for much less than market value. I believe they were originally kept by the church and intended for widows, but a friend's mum lives in one and about half of the residents are divorced rather than widowed. You usually need some link to the area (eg family near by). Maybe Google widow's cottages/alms houses or speak to your local church and see if they can advise? Still renting, but hopefully you won't see all your money disappear in rent at the same rate.

@OneRingToRuleThemAll makes a good point - your rent should be weighed against the mortgage payments and the difference taken out of the pot before splitting the rest. Speak to your lawyer about this.

Don't assume the worst. You may well be able to get a mortgage for a small house or freehold flat. You could speak to London and Country, without obligation, to get a sense of what might be available to you.

Mortgages are more flexible than they used to be and you can now get mortgages that extend beyond what used to be a common upper age limit of 70 or 75. Some may now be up to 80 or 85 or even with no upper age limit.

It all depends on affordability criteria so if you have pension income during retirement you can continue funding mortgage repayments. You can even take out a mortgage when you are already retired, again subject to criteria.
There are additional forms of flexibility built into mortgage terms and conditions such as extending the term to reduce monthly payments, or making regular, or occasional lump sum, overpayments to shorten the term, or taking payment holidays or having an offset mortgage to cope with variable circumstances during the life of the mortgage.

No, I’d never left my problems affect DD’s independence and what she wants to do with her life. It would be selfish and unfair - it’s not her fault that our marriage ended in the way it did. At 21 she needs to be able to go and do her own thing, not be forced to stay stuck at home with me. I’d never forgive myself if I held her back like that - it would be unhealthy for both of us.

The nearest university offering her course is 2 hours away. It’s an intensive course with lectures and teaching pretty much 9-5 in first year - commuting just wouldn’t be practical, nor is it a uni she’s keen on. She’d lose out socially

Yes @OneRingToRuleThemAll , thank you for this. Will definitely be mentioning to my solicitor next week!

Hi, I understand your dilemma as I am in the same position . You currently have to have a high credit score to apply for a mortgage. As you have debt your credit score will be lower. I was also told that when I have paid my debt I have to maintain my clean credit score for 6 months before any lender will consider me for a mortgage. I recommend you make an appointment with a financial consultant. It’s free, just walk into any estate agent and ask for an appointment. They will easily be able to clarify your financial situation. Good luck.

A positive update for you all!

Miraculously everything seems to have fallen into place. Ex-H suddenly agreed to a 50/50 split of the marital home equity and therefore didn’t touch my pension (thank god). Mortgage wise I’ve spoken to a brilliant advisor and have been pleasantly surprised - my bank are happy to lend me more than enough and I can comfortably afford the payments. I found a fantastic, chain free new home in my ideal area. Not too big and not too small with minimal renovation needing done. Everything moved very quickly and my offer was accepted last week. Sale agreed for a very reasonable price, now just awaiting the survey to come through!

So thankful and relieved that everything is finally coming together.

Oh I am really pleased to hear this

This is great news ! So glad to hear a woman getting her fair share and going on to create a new and better life for herself. Well done !