To think mumsnet it’s not a place to find help anymore.

[Firefightermum]

I believe mumsnet has had its place from line eyes threads to people being able to recognise and notice abuse they are in and I think the idea of it and the main principles of it are a fantastic resource for people who need the support system.
however so many people have taken over as a way to belittle or put down other posters rather then just offer a handhold or some advice or support in which they are offering. It’s okay and healthy even to be told a opinion which differes from the origianl post (I’m sure this may get one or two) however people are just mean spirited and downright nasty on some threads especially where people seem to be asking for advice.

I saw a women who’s post was all around domestic abuse and the comments literally said “I bet you have a council house” followed by “with a dog and crushed grey velvet” when the whole post was on how to stop feeling guilty for leaving the relationship as well as teplied saying your partner sounds awful when the post was all about OP leaving the relationship.

then another post I saw had a women asking for breakfast without her husband and a response like “two people that don’t love eachother shush living together how sad”- how would you know that from a post about breakfast.

I also saw a post on a mum asking for support with an abortion with a new partner with so many replies saying how stupid and idiot she had been and not educated rather then word in away to get contraception next time to prevent it again hope you recover.

im not saying mumsnet is bad but it’s not a place to go if you genuinely need support as the replies can be so mean spirited especially at the moment

Link to the thread you mention

as I imagine there’s a heck of a lot more to it than you convey here

Ignore those posts. There is gold among the rubbish...

I'm not going to link someone's abortion post so more

Can you link to these awful threads? I’ve never seen them.

then another post I saw had a women asking for breakfast without her husband and a response like “two people that don’t love eachother shush living together how sad”- how would you know that from a post about breakfast.

this one is on the go

it was a horrible exchange between op and her dh

might you be the op?

People can judge, I'm a judgemental person myself (would love to work on it) and I do think o sometimes but the women was genuinely just asking for support on her abortion it was a new relationship and she already had a child there was nothing else. The domestic violance was someone saying they had left and felt guilty they explained the abuse in detail but it didn't need the comments on " daily mail couple""Defo grey velvet sofa " "maybe a few frenchies" when the women was asking if she'd done the right thing even if you saw it and judged due to the nature of post surely you'd read and run rather then put down. As a volunteer at a women's. Charity we often suggest mumsnet for women who are completely alone and so reading it worries me as I'd hate a women in my caseload to have recieved those responses when I had adviced her to ask the question.

I agree. Sometimes people just need advice/ support/ gentle criticism. But some (I don't know if they are trolls) are so cruel and miss the point. It detracts from the original post completely.

I think some people like to put others down just to make themselves feel better. But when a person has asked for help surely if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all.

The breakfast one was starts today

not sure what the op is going on about. Basically horrible exchange between op and her dh. And posters rightfully saying….sounds a very unhappy marriage

I am thinking this op is that op

Charity we often suggest mumsnet for women who are completely alone

What. The. Fuck.

I'm not I'm single unfortunately🤣 came in here to read some advice on something I'm supporting a women with and doom scrolled too far.

There was a post with a woman asking for help regarding her autistic son with challenging behaviour . People STILL found a way to demonise her.
It's awful.

a total breeding ground for female incels

its never let me down.

A handful of unkind comments does not represent the whole of mumsnet. Many woman receive fantastic support on here, me being one of them.

So what part of that thread do you disagree with? People saying the marriage sounds shit? It does. If you don’t think so, fair enough, but saying so doesn’t mean it’s no supportive

You think most of them are women? Theres a lot more men on here than you think.

It is very disturbing to me that you volunteer for a woman’s charity and you suggest women go to mumsnet if they’re alone

Responses are often awful.

I think it must be a way of taking out the frustrations in their own lives on someone else.

Keyboard bullies.

We do online forums as well as help centres and Facebook groups. Some women who flee domestic violance have to move miles and have nowhere to turn reading a story similar can make someone feel less alone especially in situations like housing and having to move or pregnancy as a women completely alone.

Well given that you now think, presumably you’ll stop suggesting very vulnerable and alone women use mumsnet?

It used to be straight talking on here which was great.

The last few years it is veering into plain nasty. I see a change in most areas of the internet now though so it's not just an MN thing.

I'd hate a women in my caseload to have recieved those responses when I had adviced her to ask the question.

good lord

If a young mum is alone with mental health we would suggest helplines, online forums, websites and local groups to attend? It's not that strange?

It is strange to suggest mumsnet
yes

But you won’t now presumably

It actually got suggested to me when I was under the perinatal mental health team years ago too often alongside Facebook groups, it's not suggested as mumsnet however online forums are.

What do you do when your alone with a question you type it in Google and read answers? It's not that strange. We have a Facebook and WhatsApp group which I would hope came first but if someone had a question even about a pushchair or space saving cots, or something mumsnet can be a great resource and it's used a lot for our new mums in that context and mayn't will then scroll? We always advice reaching out for support? I'm surprised that so surprising!