Is it possibly to easily be friends with someone who’s interested in you that you are not romantically interested in?

[Linemode]

The difficulty may be that the more respectful distance I have kept, it seems to have just grown the interest. Not sure what to do. To be honest I’m the same, it speaks of a difficult childhood which we share.

We’ve known each other about a year and this is someone I admire who is a good friend to me that I would like to keep in my life.

I would like to be more available to this person, but I also don’t want to lead on or mislead.

Anyone else navigated something like this?

Have you made it clear to your friend that you aren't interested in them romantically?

I would like to be more available to this person

why, is this person lacking people in real life?

Careful. Spending more time with them may not be kind if they are wanting more.

We both do. We live in remotely

What do you actually do when you get together?

do you both work? Hobbies? Partner? Kids?

Would I be right in thinking this relationship is largely if not exclusively conducted online?

Both single and child free. We like a lot of animal pursuits

Not at all, we live in easy driving distance

Neither work?
how old?

op…. I reckon you’re both bored and lonely and latched on to one another.

If you can do without him in your life, then withdrawing from him because you think he fancies you would probably be wise m
but given you both seem to need one another…. Just crack on

We both work and have a lot of responsibilities

Ok so I wouldnt navel gaze about it too much

see each other every now and then, keep it amicable. End of

Personally I think no, it is absolutely impossible to have a meaningful friendship when there is a significant imbalance of sexual attraction. You have different motivations for wanting to spend time together, no matter how much they profess to value your friendship.

Ironically the person most likely to get hurt in this scenario is the person who only wants friendship. Because they will get dumped when the other person either finds spending time together too painful, or because they lose interest in you sexually and discover that actually they suddenly aren't that interested in a friendship either.

I was used a little bit like that in the past and I couldn’t seem to help myself and leave this person, I know how painful it is and do not want to do it.

He tried to give me a quick peck on the lips on my birthday, we were both a bit drunk. That was a while back, nothing like that has happened since.

Absolutely possible right up until the point that I realised that I loved him. We've been together for 26 years now

If I’m being honest that is probably what will likely happen, I think it might take time though, possibly years. He’s very patient and quite resilient.

I could easily love him and settle with him but I don’t want to because he can’t connect emotionally the way I would like, he doesn’t know how, he was raised in an abusive family.

Experienced this twice

1. Close friends from being 16 to being 22 ish. It ruined the friendship when he told me as he definitely wanted more and I only saw him as platonic.
2. Another close friendship from 16 to 22 ish. Both liked each other but never said anything. Lost touch for 5 years. Now we’ve been together for 15 years and have 2 kids.

No. I think I would have to cut contact

Cut your losses in that case. I agree with pp who said it’s an off dynamic and I don’t believe that you can have a real friendship with someone who fancies or is pursuing you.

Either you’re not being clear in your signals / messages or your friend doesn’t respect your boundaries.

Do you mind me asking if you’re shagging him?

We have never slept together, I don’t find him sexually attractive, I admire him in every other way.

So far I have just been sitting with the situation and seeing how it develops

No.
I would find it awkward knowing he wanted to have sex with me and I didn't fancy him in that way.

Is it possibly to easily be friends with someone who’s interested in you that you are not romantically interested in?

No.

It doesn’t sound like either of you are in the right place for a relationship

Has he actually told you op? Or is this a feeling you have?

I did catch him staring at my boob last time I saw him, there was some unfortunate visible nipple through t-shirt situation, but then he quickly said what is that written on your t-shirt and where did it come from, plausible I guess. The feeling I got was not nice, a bit like catching your very nice maths teacher doing that.

We benefit from each other so much that I don’t want to let it go, I just want to navigate it without anyone winding up not in a good place.