Is it possibly to easily be friends with someone who’s interested in you that you are not romantically interested in?

[Linemode]

The difficulty may be that the more respectful distance I have kept, it seems to have just grown the interest. Not sure what to do. To be honest I’m the same, it speaks of a difficult childhood which we share.

We’ve known each other about a year and this is someone I admire who is a good friend to me that I would like to keep in my life.

I would like to be more available to this person, but I also don’t want to lead on or mislead.

Anyone else navigated something like this?

It won't work, no. The romantically interested one (bloke, in my case) always latches on for dear life, whether you like it or not. That's my experience anyway.

Sounds to me like two lonely isolated people dependent on one another in different ways

I might have stared in that situation but it wouldn't have been because I fancied you.
And s quick peck on the lips sounds like you're still friends to me.

@RedHelenB you would have “stared” at a slightly visible nipple through a t shirt?

The feeling I got was not nice, a bit like catching your very nice maths teacher doing that.

if you are thinking that about a friend OP, it sounds a little grim tbh

do you have other close friends?

As an aside, a maths teacher staring at a pupil’s nipple is very very far off “very nice”

I'm assuming on a par with noticing someone's trousers are undone, or their bra strap is showing?

Honestly, if I thought a 'friend' fancied the pants off me...and I didn't feel the same way, I would keep my nipples firmly under lock and key.
Why torture the poor man.😃

Wardrobe failure, by the time I realised, it was too late. I don’t normally have the visible nipples through clothes problem, this was just a freak mishap. It was very cold that day!

I think a drunken peck and some boob staring don't indicate anything. I have done the same with friends. Some of them just have nice boobs/abs.
Just ask and if he indeed fancies you then distance. Seems like he has things to deal with and unrequited love won't help.

He has started working out and counting calories, he’s lost loads of weight, although he wasn’t exactly fat to begin with, just average typical dad bod. I just hope it has nothing to do with me. I’m no oil painting myself. I think he likes me because I not only accept but enjoy his neurodivergence.

Is there a reason that you think it might be anything to do with you, rather than just working on his health? Are you sure you're not interested in him, because it sounds as if you are thinking about him a lot.

The kind and constructive thing to do in this situation would be to not see him for some time and give him the chance to see if he can get over those feelings.

I am very interested in him, just not sexually.

No, because its not a friendship. Its one person faking friendship in the hopes of more, and another person allowing false hope to keep their company and attention. People who care about each other enough to be considered friends wouldn't do either of those things.

We’ve tried this, it might have had a slight opposite reaction.

I’m not used to this level of interest, I’m usually the one doing the chasing, it’s a role I enjoy, probably not healthy, but who hasn’t got peculiar little things.
I like the challenge and I like setting the precedents for my relationship.
Quite predictably, many men don’t like this at all, especially the more macho sort, bless their little cotton socks.

Something inside me switches off if someone chases me too obviously. I feel sorry for them. I don’t want them suffer at my hands. The eagerness is off putting somehow, maybe I need to sort that out in myself. Or is it a gut reaction that he’s not right for me. I’m sure some women prefer that approach. These type of things are a bit of a minefield.

A glance
not a stare

Op do you have other friends you socialise with regularly?

I have experienced this fairly often. Probably because I'm friendly so don't give off RBF vibes.

In my experience they start negging you after a while or get handsy.

Sorry.

Are you flattered by the idea he fancies you?

I think it can be quite a nice feeling someone desires you, or embarrassing and a complete turn off.

You're giving him false hope and using him for companionship.

No, you can't be friends because he wants more.

It would be kinder to him to withdraw. If not he'll most likely use the connection to you as false hope that will forever cause him pain.