To feel a bit weird about this....

[Forthelovagod]

In new relationship but with someone ive known a long time. I know he has always had female friends, i also know he has slept with at least one, although i dont know or want to know who is who.

Anyway im away this week. He mentioned yesterday his old pal was in the area and coming over for a catch up tonight. Assumes im ok with this and assures me unprompted that no one is a threat to me, he adores me.

Im totally fine with that. I feel adored. I know he loves me.

Chatting tonight he mentioned what he'd made them for dinner. He's a great cook. It sounded a lovely meal.

Got off phone and been feeling a bit uneasy ever since. Wtf is wrong with me.... Its just dinner. He loves to cook for folk. He didn't have to tell me. But if im honest it has made me feel a bit fucking miffed. He doesn't make a nice meal if a male pal visits. And he said popping up for a catch up.... Not im making her dinner.

Aibu? Am i being a dick? Fwiw my last relationship broke me and this has been a big step. Also i absolutely trust it was innocent but it still makes me feel weird

I’m 51 and I’ve never been to a female friend’s house for home cooked dinner. We might go out for dinner, or she might cook for me if I’m staying over for an event nearby etc, but I’d feel really weird going to a friend’s house one on one and having them make me a meal, sit at the table together etc.

Maybe that’s why it feels date-y to me? . I hadn’t really realised that before. If you have female friends you’d do this with then I can see why it wouldn’t feel odd for him to do it. But the whole “men’s friendships aren’t like that” bollocks is exactly why it feels off when its a man and a woman. He wouldn’t do it for a male friend because it would feel too intimate and date-y!

Why would he say this? Sorry I'm getting player vibes from your posts.

If this feels uncomfortable I’d speak to him about it - you don’t need to be controlling but setting boundaries now and explaining why something makes you uncomfortable is the right thing to do at the beginning of the relationship.

For what it’s worth, dinner for two in his home, with someone you have never met and he may have sexual history with, who has private issues she wants to talk to him about, would be an absolute no from me. Trust your gut on this and sense check whether he’s trying to push boundaries.

How’s it going OP? Did you talk to him about it?

It's not "cool wife" (stupid phrase) it's just normal person in a healthy relationship.

DH’s best friend, as in closest not the one he sees the most, is female. When he sees her what he does will often be different to if he was meeting some male friends. Doesn’t ring any alarm bells.