Mum doesn’t want baby to go nursery

[HelloVeraPlant]

I’m very lucky that I have family support. My baby is nearly 1, I have to go back to work and my partner is undergoing a major surgery in another city - and is staying with his family, so my family has stepped in with childcare. I work 3 days now, so I’ve put my baby in nursery as partner will be recovering for over a month.

My mum says that she doesn’t like the fact I’ve put the baby in nursery and that she will do the childcare. She has been super helpful! But when I work from home, and she is baby sitting - she will rush me, and only looks after the baby whilst I’m on calls without realising that I need the day to get the actual work done - which is one of the reasons I decided to put the baby in nursery.

I think she is being unreasonable. I get nursery isn’t ideal - and annoyingly baby caught a cold on the first week so it hasn’t helped my case. But at the same time relying on my mum means my production is low and I’m not getting much work done.

And yes, I could completely ignore her - but I’m staying there for a while whilst partner undergoes surgery and our flat has had other issues that makes staying with parents easier.

Who is unreasonable here - I almost feel bad for putting the baby in nursery so young but I’ve paid and his place is secured. But we really need the income as this year hasn’t been kind to us.

Unfortunately, many people think WFH equates to 'dossing around, doing little'. If you had to go into the office, then your Mum wouldn't expect to only look after your daughter whilst you were on calls! Therefore, the same applies whilst working from home! You aren't available. It's that simple. If sending your daughter to nursery is what's best for your family, then that's all you need to worry about.

What option? Her mum is not actually offering to care for her child. She’s offering to take the child here and there to cover the odd phone call, and then expects. OP to be doing the childcare a lot of the rest of the time. OP needs childcare so that she wants to work and her mum is not offering to do this.

I think you are entirely in the right here. You’ve made a difficult decision regarding nursery, you’ve got to work. If your mum wants to have baby instead of nursery and save you money, fantastic but she needs to keep baby out of the way so you can actually focus on your work.

What’s with the nursery bashing?!

As a PP has stated, nursery is not just childcare. It’s great for their social skills and developmentally really brings them on.

I would argue that not sending them to nursery at all is doing them a disservice.

My mum doesn't get working from.home either.

I think nursery us fine and if that's your preference stick to it.

You say there is am issue with your flat? Is it possible to work from home from your flat.

I had to return to work for financial reasons when my kids were 6 months old so they both went to nursery. It was good for them in all sorts of ways

I think that's a bit strong! I don't think I did my dc a disservice by not sending them to nursery. I was a SAHM to my 4 dc and none of them went to nursery. They did attend a pre school for a few hours twice a week from 2 and a half. They are all very sociable, were never sick and they have all done very well academically. I was perfectly capable of providing them with the means to develop well. Saying that I'm sure some dc benefit from nurseries and most parents have to work. My gs goes to a nursery full time, he was basically ill for the whole first year! My gd will be going part time from next month. Dd and her dh are doctors and the nursery is not open bank holidays so I think the gps are going to step in on those few days.