To ask friends to still pay for both of them

[GotThatFriYayFeeling]

Boyfriends birthday at the end of the month & I have organised a surprise weekend away with some of his friends & partners

There's about 10 of us going, it was originally booked in Nov, everyone was added to a WhatsApp and all agreed date/venue

I paid for the whole lot up front and said it was XXX per person

Last week I discovered one of his friends partners can no longer come. There was a mix up and he has double booked himself and is now away doing something else

No one had paid me any money yet but it's payday weekend & I need to prod people. I don't know whether to say it's now £39 more for everyone or tell his friend that she still needs to pay 2x for herself and her fella.

No one is sharing rooms, all singletons have their own room.

Genuinely stuck. I feel morally they should pay but it's a fair chunk of money.

YANBU - the friend should still pay 2x
YABU - everyone takes the hit

Put it out for the group to decide. They have cancelled and dropped everyone in it, I would ask what the group now want to do.

You've paid, and had nothing paid by anyone yet!? 😬

Honestly, This is why you get the money at the point of booking and not at a later date.

I feel like it should come down to the individual who won’t be attending and the organiser to come to a decision. No one else should be subsiding.

Isn’t it essentially a per room cost? Just tell her she is responsible for the full cost but she may drop out entirely. or cover the missing fee yourself to prevent the whole event from crashing leaving you with the full cost to bear. You can’t be sure that all the others will cough up an extra 50 quid.

I would ask the person who’s cancelled first, just be really honest - as you can’t come now that would push up everyone’s price, are you still going to cover the cost you’d agreed to? And see what they say.

Yeah it's a lesson to me to take the money straightaway.

Will definitely do that in future!

I will be amazed if you get the money back and they all go .
Common sense dictates you get money up front
Otherwise people drop out nearer the time

Very Silly to pay for everyone when almost always someone does this or something comes up. How you do it is send everyone a link / pay over money to you then you book. I would put it on the group for everyone to see and decide - as X is no longer coming please confirm if you would like to pay or happy for everyone to have an additional amount added and leave it at that. Someone is bound to make a noise and then it will be up to them to resolve.

Oh Op! I’ve done this before, now I always always ask for the money upfront.

Morally the couple should still pay for both of their share, it’s not your fault so you shouldn’t lose money.

I would just message friend and say I’ve paid for everyone so I’ve paid 2 x for you so unfortunately you will still have to pay as I can’t afford to be out of pocket

You can’t ask each couple for another £80 when you’ve already told them how much it cost - for some of them that might make it unaffordable and they’ve budgeted based on what you’ve told them. If they pull out then that’s more on you.

you need to tell the person who has dropped out that they still need to pay for the room.

Person dropping out must pay - they agreed so you booked, and they are the ones not going

Agree with this.

I wouldn't be happy having to pay for drop outs, they should be paying

“Hi x, that’s so sad about your DP not being able to come and double booking himself. Unfortunately money is quite tight and I can’t be out of pocket so you will still have to pay for both amounts. As it’s pay day weekend do you think you could send over money by Sunday? Thank you!”

You were bonkers to organise such a thing and pay for it out of your own pocket. This is the sort of thing you organise for husbands not boyfriends.
You’ll either have to pay the difference yourself or ask the drop out to pay. You can’t ask people for more money

I'd put it out to the group. "Sorry you can't come friend, I'm not sure what you want to do, are you still covering your share as it's been paid already and is non refundable otherwise it'll be an extra X per person to cover. Let me know what you all think" kind of message.

What are the costs for, if it is for a big shared house then I think it is more ok to share the costs.
If it a hotel room then they should pay it.
Did you specify to the group that there are non refundable costs if they agree to going and that you were paying upfront?

Dropping out person owes you the money, not the group of people who are going. I had this with a planned group away thing. Flights only booked and paid for by one person. We’d have been sorting our own accommodation. I paid my bit, but was asked to pay more to cover someone dropping out. Fuck off! I ended up just saying I wasn’t going. Paid my bit. Why should I foot the bill for others? It’s up to the person who’s owed to chase it up from the ower! Think in the end out of an original group of 10 only 2 went! The original payer.

It wouldn't surprise me if some more people drop out......

If it’s too late to cancel or amend the numbers everyone that drops out still needs to pay. I'd put a copy of the receipt and the booking T&C's on the group chat and ask everyone to pay up immediately before they spend their wages on something else.

Hang on, so single people paying for a room paid half what a couple would for the same room? Or was the costs split per room? Are the single rooms much smaller or lacking some amenities? I’ve paid for things up front before but always with the knowledge of when payment will be made and with friends I know won’t pull out!

I would do this too

I don't think it's fair to ask single people to pay proportionally more so whenever I've organised a trip like this I've always done pp not per room.

Most of the time the single people share a twin anyway.

Up until this point I've never had anyone drop out or not pay, it tends to be with v close friends and people know the cost up front before they agree.

Anyway I have definitely learned my lesson.

So you've spread the costs out and the couples are paying more to subsidise the singles having their own rooms?

I'd put a group message saying x can no longer come. The cost is the same and I've paid it all and can't get a refund so what would everyone prefer to happen, x still pays for their place or we all pay £y more to cover the £z x would have paid?

Most of the time the single people share a twin anyway.