To ask friends to still pay for both of them

[GotThatFriYayFeeling]

Boyfriends birthday at the end of the month & I have organised a surprise weekend away with some of his friends & partners

There's about 10 of us going, it was originally booked in Nov, everyone was added to a WhatsApp and all agreed date/venue

I paid for the whole lot up front and said it was XXX per person

Last week I discovered one of his friends partners can no longer come. There was a mix up and he has double booked himself and is now away doing something else

No one had paid me any money yet but it's payday weekend & I need to prod people. I don't know whether to say it's now £39 more for everyone or tell his friend that she still needs to pay 2x for herself and her fella.

No one is sharing rooms, all singletons have their own room.

Genuinely stuck. I feel morally they should pay but it's a fair chunk of money.

YANBU - the friend should still pay 2x
YABU - everyone takes the hit

You paid for everyone in November and still haven’t asked them to pay up before now?! Big mistake 🤦🏻‍♀️ Always, always send people your bank details/payment link and amount expected immediately when you book something. And “please can everyone do a bank transfer by Friday, as I’m a bit strapped this month.” If people have not committed financially, you will ALWAYS have someone flaking out which is exactly what has happened.

I don’t think you should ask the others what they want to do in a group chat. That puts people in a very awkward position where they might be really unhappy at having to pay more but don’t want to be the one to say no.

This is really for you and the friend involved to sort out. They said they were going so they should pay the full amount. Why should everyone else now pay extra and the flaky pair get off scot-free, with no consequences for a late cancellation? If I was one of the other participants being asked to subsidise that, I’d be fuming.

I went to a wedding last year where a group of 6 of us booked an AirBnB for 2 nights, but I decided a fortnight before I only wanted to go down on the morning of the wedding and stay for 1 night, not both. It wouldn’t even have occurred to me to make the others absorb the cost and I paid my full share for the 2 nights. Cannot bear selfish, tight people who would do anything different.

This is fairly standard. The organiser has to pay at least the deposit. I've organised hotel rooms for DH & friend (now living abroad) for DH's school reunion every year-they all went to a rather posh boarding school. Over the years it's extended to now (this year) I've organised 7 rooms as additional friends see where we staying, see how much nicer it is than the Travelodge/Premier (same cost) & how much fun we have in the evenings over a couple of drinks after the 'official' events have finished.

I won't be doing it again as now I'm organising (& paying deposit for 7 rooms) I've had friends saying 'Oh wife can only make it for Friday & Saturday, so can you cancel Sunday?' Another didn't realise that DH, me & another friend were also staying Sunday & wanted to add them & wife for Sunday as well as Friday & Saturday. Luckily the hotel have been very patient with me - so far.

She has to pay. She said they were going, its not one else's fault her DP is double booked.

Id be raging if I was the rest of the group and mightnt afford an extra £39 because someone double booked

I would not put it out to the group to decide as it’s a bit awkward. I would think the obvious response is the drop out has to pay. If I was the drop out I would have just said sorry I double booked, but I will ofc cover the cost.

Can't you just ask everyone to pay the prices you told them back in November?
And if flakey-friend gets back in touch to say that she thinks she should pay less because her DP's no longer coming, tell her that her (double) room still costs £x, but if she can find a singleton who wants to swap with her and pay more that's fine with you.