What does it take to be completely untouchable at work?

[PithyMintFawn]

I work in a big corporate and I’ve noticed there’s this one guy who seems completely immune from any expectations or consequences. He shows up to meetings when he wants, barely contributes, and yet no one complains or even acknowledges it. It’s almost like an unspoken rule - he moves between teams every few years and people just know not to involve him in projects. If he does something unprompted, everyone reacts as if he’s done something amazing.

From what I’ve gathered, HR won’t touch his case, and there seems to be some underlying reason he’s so protected. This is unlike anything I’ve seen in my career. AIBU to wonder what kind of situation would lead to someone being completely untouchable at work? Have you ever seen this happen?

I have one of these in my team. Weak HR and protected characteristics means she can do what she wants. Including lying like she breathes. Everyone knows it but no one has the balls to deal with it (sigh)

it drives us crazy but not a lot we can do.

I worked for one company where the CFO had 'saved' the owner from prison. It was scaremongering. His solicitor wife helped to reduce the impact. I came along from a family of solicitors and I was out the door when I rumbled him. Ditto his bogus qualifications.
However he was a pussycat compared to the ex services ceo who threatened to shoot me if I told anyone he was money laundering. I left sharpish. He's been in prison. Bailed and the company clapsed. Up to that point everyone thought he walked on water.

You’re talking about Patsy in Ab Fab. 😂

My old boss used to call it 'being promoted out of harm's way'. 😂

Yep, I worked with one, a senior NHS manager. She was always being funded to set up her own little projects that were pitifully bad, with piss poor data.
Her presentations were embarrassing, she achieved nothing, yet she was lauded as if she was Einstein.

One office had a guy with cancer who was untouchable. The backstory: he had cancer and everyone thought he was going to die. They promoted him & gave good raise … because he was going to die and thought his company life insurance payout be more generous for his family etc. Then, he did not die. A few times, had medical set backs. And kept returning to work. Year after year after year.
He had a good job title, and was basically not very good at his job. What he needed to be, to be good was just not in his skill set. Others were hired around him to do what he should have been doing.

Only Sr Management knew back story, & no-one wanted to fire him because of the cancer. And potential for discrimination lawsuit. The company run by basically good people, trying to do the right thing.

So true,
I think at least 5% of NHS employees probably take the piss and get away with it.

Dilbert with the useless employee in a private company resonated with people reading the cartoon, because every company of a certain size has these employees.

For the ones I have come across a) shagging the boss- we had a lady who was known to be shagging a senior Director. She came in when she wanted, did very little and was bitchy to everyone. She got promoted as well. She did however leave just after he did and before anyone got the chance to manage her appropriately. Also the bosses close relative I have seen, but usually this is less of a think than the shagging. On occasion as well I have worked in industries where Freemasonry has a hold and you see people promoted and just go eh? And then you learn later on they are a member of the right lodge.

1. he’s male 2) he either has a family member there more senior colleagues that he knows that have been there for a long time and back him for some reason 3) they think his knowledge is invaluable 4) he’s been there a very very long time 5) HR are shite and don’t know how to handle him.

there’s just been an internal promotion where I work very senior with a man who has recently had complaints put in about him. Go figure.

Seen this before. Either the boss’s son/ daughter or having an affair with the boss.

At my work it's because your mum's a senior manager.🤷‍♂️

Sometimes it's because whilst most people see the things they aren't doing, management know that there are things they are doing that are absolutely critical for the further functioning of the business and they have little appetite for trying to recruit multiple replacements, none of whom would be able to provide the same breadth of knowledge and experience, would cost significantly more, require complete redesigns of critical systems - and then there could be the consequences of a poor application of employment law to deal with.

Same at my work - a combination of a dysfunctional organisation and the person being hugely litigious. It makes my life very difficult as our team has to deal with him and escalating to his line manager and HR makes no difference.

I've seen this situation in a previous workplace years ago, where a guy just went from department to department like a moving car crash, and no-one senior did anything about him, or even challenged his behaviour.
Apparently it turned out that this guy was the son-in-law of the chief executive, consequently he was untouchable.

Usually 1 or 3 reasons.

1. They are related/ shagging/ very close personal friend of someone very senior in the company.

1. Have a very valuable key customer/ linked to a very important customer who spends and awful lot or has very large shares in the company and would move with the employee if they left.

1. Litigious. Willing to play the discrimination card hard. Constantly has the union in over everything. Very much has "ducks in a row, solicitor on phone, I'll take you to court over it" attitude to any form of feedback at work. Therefore HR and any management tread very carefully around them and some management are much happier to turn a blind eye than deal with a court case.

I've worked with a number 3, it was exhausting and awful for all. They seemed to spend their entire day slacking off, doing bare minimum, looking for ways to take offense at things. Any sort of perceived slight or suggestion they did any work would result in flouncing to management and complaining of discrimination, union called in over said "discrimination", I have a discrimination case unless I get an apology. Management were pretty much terrified of them. It took a huge change in very senior management and a very long drawn out process (years) with HR in order to fire them. Said person ended up with a very nice payout that to this day they boast about getting from the company for discrimination.

@TorroFerney you hit the nail right in the head!

I'm ashamed to say, that I used to be that person for a couple of years.

I was younger, and earning good money in a job I hated. The company was doing well, so they were paying above the odds, so finding a new job wasn't on the cards for me at the time. So I started coasting, and then when noone pulled me up on it, I coasted a bit more, and a bit more, until I was only doing about an hour's work a day.

And people started noticing after a while, but I'd been there years, and I'm fairly easy going so most of them counted me as a friend. And by the point my manager noticed, I'd been doing it too long, and if he'd had made a big deal about it the his manager would find out and ask why I'd been getting away with it for so long.

I eventually left because my Mum died and I inherited a couple of hundred grand. I took a year off, retrained and found a new job, and have worked bloody hard in jobs I enjoy ever since.

So the answer to how to be untouchable? In my experience, do nothing and be friendly.

We have a guy like this but worse, tries to book leave, if it gets denied he just doesn't show up, is always off sick, never hits a trigger, is absolutely bone idle. When he left us dangerously understaffed, myself and my colleagues put in a complaint. We were told because he is in a "protected category" there was nothing they could do that wouldn't seem like discrimination so he's just left to do as he pleases while the rest of us have to tow line.

In my sector (tech) it usually means that they created/designed/have IPR over something bespoke that can’t be replaced as yet and therefore are classed as a key person with privilege. Their sole job is being available just in case something happens! Happens less and less now as technology advances but still common to see

Only read the first page of posts but maybe in a protected category to discriminate against and has used this previously when challenged. A colleague was bullied and went for constructive dismissal and as she was registered disabled got a big pay out.
She did deserve the result IMO.

The answer is when no one has performance managed your poor performance. Helps if you're fulfilling a role no one else wants to do and people can ignore you and get on with their jobs.

That and genuinely being a kiss ass arsehole

Where I've come across this it's been because the guy in question was very close with a valuable customer - think millions of pounds of billing - and it was absolutely worth it to keep him on just to hang onto the client

I used to work in a public sector org with someone like this. She literally sat at her desk until lunchtime reading the newspaper then she go home for the day. She was supposedly team support but didn’t seem to do anything but read the paper. When I asked I as told she’d originally had a more senior job but her project was cancelled and she was given notice of redundancy. She appealed, made various grievance complaints against managers and then the manager’s manager right up the chain complaining unfairness for various reasons to do with her gender, race and health. This went on for years with her being shunted from team to team. By the time I knew her, she was working a phased return to full time hours and our manager preferred the easy life option of letting things continue rather than doing anything that would trigger yet another complaint. I left before she did,she might still be there for all I know.