What does it take to be completely untouchable at work?

[PithyMintFawn]

I work in a big corporate and I’ve noticed there’s this one guy who seems completely immune from any expectations or consequences. He shows up to meetings when he wants, barely contributes, and yet no one complains or even acknowledges it. It’s almost like an unspoken rule - he moves between teams every few years and people just know not to involve him in projects. If he does something unprompted, everyone reacts as if he’s done something amazing.

From what I’ve gathered, HR won’t touch his case, and there seems to be some underlying reason he’s so protected. This is unlike anything I’ve seen in my career. AIBU to wonder what kind of situation would lead to someone being completely untouchable at work? Have you ever seen this happen?

I used to work with a woman like this when I worked in a huge magazine company. She was a named editor on one title but was rarely in the office and the editing work was done by others. She occasionally attended meetings, where managers were clearly careful around her and treated her with kid gloves. She never said anything.

It turned out that when she'd arrived as a young graduate in the company a couple of years earlier, she'd had a relationship with the 30-years-older big-name editor who ran the massively-successful money-making title that the whole London business was hung on. After they split up she accused him of sexually assaulting her and had recorded some evidence (no idea what) of what was clearly an inappropriate relationship. The management couldn't afford to lose him, so to avoid a court case and negative publicity they came to a deal with her. That seems to have involved a cash lump sum big enough to buy her a 2-bed flat in a very nice part of Zone 1 and three years continued employment as an editor, to give her a great CV. From what I eventually understood she did some work from home and only came into the office when he wasn't around, because they weren't allowed to be seen together.

I worked with someone a bit like this, he'd swan in and out as he pleased, went on long liquid lunches, just not turn up sometimes. But he was tall, handsome, charming, and would help more junior staff with mentoring when asked, and more importantly, brought in shit loads of business and money to the company so they let him do what he wanted!

I’ve known two. One was shagging the boss, one was best friends with the boss. Unfortunately for them when the CEO changed, they no longer had that protection.

Ime it’s because at some point in the past someone tried to deal with it and the employee kicked off so much, started talking about bullying and discrimination (bonus points if any protected characteristic, and I say that as a disabled person).

The majority of managers I’ve known are when you scratch the surface are all mouth and no trousers. When push comes to shove they pull away from dealing with the problem either due to being scared or laziness.

He knows where the bodies are buried or he's undercover 🥸

Yes. I think the public sector is especially vulnerable to these kind of staff. And they get all of us a bad name, as well as being impossible to work with

We had someone similar, we changed from a junior school and an infant school to a combined academy. She would forever call another teacher to her class as children played up, she had extra TAs, her books etc were a mess, no one from the junior side could understand how she passed her NQT. A promotion came up with a hefty payrise and somehow she got it! It meant she didn't do any teaching but did a lot of lesson observation, her feedback was incredibly harsh. After a particular gruesome lesson observation, which she observed with my mentor ho couldnt find the same faults she had, I found out how she got promoted and passed her NQT. One of my TAs had, in the past been her TA during her NQT year. Turns out her best friend was the daughter of the head and they lived together. When she got promoted, it was at the same time the heads daughter was getting married and didn't want to houseshare anymore and could only leave if she had extra money. The TA said next lesson observation when she gives poor feedback ask her to teach the lesson to the same class and show you were you went wrong, I did, she refused but I got better feedback from her. I do believe she is still there, after more then 30 years totally untouchable oh and to top it all her best friend got the job as headteacher when her mum left! I didn't stay there very long!

I'm baffled by the one in my team and have often tried to work out how he does it. He's not attractive or charming - indeed, he's one of the most charmless people I've ever met. He does move around between teams every few years but some of these moves involve promotions, so he must be able to convince others that he's competent and knowledgeable. I think the key is that he has absolute confidence in his own brilliance and it's so strong that other people just assume he must be basing it on something. He's definitely not sleeping with the boss!

India Knight at the Sunday Times springs to mind…

I knew of a similar individual who always seemed to shirk her workload. She could hand back countless jobs based on H&S regs most of us had not even heard of - I am sure she re-wrote the moving and handling manual on a daily basis.
If anyone else tried using the same excuses we were soon pulled into the office and got a bollocking.

Does he identify as a women? :-)

We have one like that in our team

I used to think she was sleeping with our boss but now I don't

She's on a much higher pay grade than most people, does less and seems to come and go as she pleases

She seems immune and I don't know why

Depends on the management team where they work doesn’t it? And no, not everyone slacks off just because they can.

100% this. We have one of these in our team. Once newish staff get comfortable enough to ask, the common question is 'what does A (lazy rude colleague) have on B (manager) that B let's A get away with so much'. Numerous bullying and patient complaints against her, but she just cruises along doing much less in her full time role than me in my part time, and I'm stuck cleaning up her messes, as the patients who complain tend to then get assigned to me as the most senior member of the team, apart from A.
When staff complaints have been raised, A claims racism and/or bullying and they seem to slide under the carpet. We have lost more than 1 excellent clinician due to being bullied and fed up of no action.

Nepotism, shares, masonic connections. Kompromat on the CEO.

Racism does happen in the workplace so why is this being used as an example of people getting away with ‘everything’. It is so odd.

Get elected as an MP, then you're allowed to punch someone in the face and kick and beat them on the floor.

We had someone like that at my old work and it turned out she was the big bosses coke supplier. When he left she was out three months later.

For the last eight years I've been having regular contact with Natural Resources Wales regarding a local factory farming set-up near us. My point of contact is a married woman who is rarely contactable and rarely working. She takes two months off over the summer, and another two months off in January and February to go 'home' to visit her family in India. We have to make appointments with her months in advance and then she's ill on the day and we have to book for another three months. When I asked to speak to her manager and mentioned her name there was a big sigh from him and he said yes, he understood our problem — but she is the named official contact for this issue in our area and no one else covers it, so...

I knew a couple of people who took redundancy from Natural Resources Wales when it reorganised a few years ago and went on to other non-public-sector jobs. They were both shocked at how much they were actually expected to do!

Alternatively (thinking back a couple of decades) have a decade+ long affair with your boss.

You're bullet proof.

I have a strong feeling I know who you're talking about!

I worked in a company managing someone like this. Totally hopeless at his job, but he knew how to schmooz with the senior management who all thought he was wonderful.

A penis in high places......

This, or he has a hidden disability that makes it a legal nightmare to offload him.

My husband has one of these in his company. An IT 'manager' who doesn't know the difference between 'resolution' and 'file size' when it comes to graphics and images.... along with many, many other failings. I think she's related to one of the chief officers.