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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s wrong of the school to do this?

169 replies

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 27/02/2025 11:20

My child’s school has paid for a theatre company to come in and perform a show.

They are asking for a ‘voluntary contribution’ of £4 to enable your child to watch. (I am fine with that and have paid).

The office have said only those that have paid will be allowed to go and watch it and those that haven’t will have to stay in the classroom.

I am shocked that they are going to be excluding children who don’t pay (for whatever reason). E.g. they cannot afford to pay/parents didn’t see the notification in time/forgot etc.

Is this the same in other schools? Maybe I’m behind the times and this is the norm these days, but it just feels so wrong to me!

OP posts:
saraclara · 03/03/2025 08:13

TunnocksOrDeath · 03/03/2025 08:08

Our school (state primary, London) puts all of the trips and events straight onto parent pay. They also send reminders that if you can't afford it, come and speak to the office because there's a fund which the parents group supports to help with that. I think it's a fair solution to the problem of cf parents who can afford their child's activities but don't stump up.

I'm a teacher, and I don't think it's fair to expect parents who are struggling financially to have to come in and declare their situation and basically beg for their child to be paid for. Particularly as in my experience, school office staff tend to live in the local community, and while I might have been unlucky, at nearly every school I taught at, the office staff were the worst gossips in the building.

autisticbookworm · 03/03/2025 08:39

My sons school did a pay for event how they phrased it was "if you would like your child to attend please pay X by X date"

So not compulsory but yes excluding kids who can't afford it

marcopront · 03/03/2025 12:23

@RawBloomers

Lying to parents to get them to make the contribution would be fraud. So also appalling.

I agree but then make the complaint about that.

RawBloomers · 03/03/2025 13:57

marcopront · 03/03/2025 12:23

@RawBloomers

Lying to parents to get them to make the contribution would be fraud. So also appalling.

I agree but then make the complaint about that.

So instead of taking what they are being told at face value and complaining about that, they should assume the school are defrauding them and complain about that instead?

And you’re complaining about someone else’s critical thinking skills?

Branwells77 · 03/03/2025 21:15

Unfortunately I have come across things like this during my years when my children attended primary school the children were doing a big performance and the parents were told that a voluntary contribution of £3 per ticket a few parents who had not paid turned up on the day and were refused entry they done a few things which they asked for a voluntary contribution and if it wasn’t paid the children or parent missed out after a lot of parents complained I think they changed the wording after my children left the school and would say that tickets were available for parents to purchase etc

PicaK · 03/03/2025 21:18

Look for the Charging and Remissions policy on the school website.
Check it before you go see the Head.

POTC · 04/03/2025 08:21

This isn't a new thing, I'm in my 40s and we weren't allowed to watch the theatre company when they visited middle school if parents couldn't/didn't pay

rosemarble · 04/03/2025 09:05

POTC · 04/03/2025 08:21

This isn't a new thing, I'm in my 40s and we weren't allowed to watch the theatre company when they visited middle school if parents couldn't/didn't pay

Yes, it used to be this way and thankfully policy has changed so that the children in families who are unable to pay don't miss out.

Swiftie1878 · 04/03/2025 09:21

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 01/03/2025 09:46

I’ll ask on Monday, but to speak to the head, you have to go through the office staff!

I hope this was sorted out.
This would be a huge OFSTED red flag - inclusion (especially of disadvantaged children) in non-classroom activities is vital.

I can only think you’ve got this wrong, and something has been lost in translation. No school should be doing this.

Original poster
Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 04/03/2025 09:55

It’s happening today, so I will let you know whether they do only take in the ones that have paid or whether they all got to go in (but will be relying on my dd telling me as I’m not there!)

OP posts:
cocog · 04/03/2025 10:05

That seems very unfair I would probably complain about it to the governors. Ask them to justify leaving probably kids on free school meals out when they already get pupil premium for them. (So more government funding per child) It’s not the children’s fault and a few more bums on the floor in the hall is not going to cost the school any more money as the production costs have already been covered. Seems spiteful to me to be honest! We pay for everything I understand the frustration but to exclude small kids is just wrong.

Bettyspants · 04/03/2025 10:12

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 04/03/2025 09:55

It’s happening today, so I will let you know whether they do only take in the ones that have paid or whether they all got to go in (but will be relying on my dd telling me as I’m not there!)

Well hopefully it will be everyone. Headteachers in the family, no child would be excluded. Even overnight trips have funding resources/options for those that can’t afford it. Acknowledging there’ll always be the cheeky fuckers who take advantage, just one of those things. It changes in high school

RawBloomers · 06/03/2025 15:27

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 04/03/2025 09:55

It’s happening today, so I will let you know whether they do only take in the ones that have paid or whether they all got to go in (but will be relying on my dd telling me as I’m not there!)

What did your DD report, Sunflower?

Gogogo12345 · 06/03/2025 15:37

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 27/02/2025 11:20

My child’s school has paid for a theatre company to come in and perform a show.

They are asking for a ‘voluntary contribution’ of £4 to enable your child to watch. (I am fine with that and have paid).

The office have said only those that have paid will be allowed to go and watch it and those that haven’t will have to stay in the classroom.

I am shocked that they are going to be excluding children who don’t pay (for whatever reason). E.g. they cannot afford to pay/parents didn’t see the notification in time/forgot etc.

Is this the same in other schools? Maybe I’m behind the times and this is the norm these days, but it just feels so wrong to me!

Well the school obviously doesn't know the meaning of voluntary. Pretty piss poor

Original poster
Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 06/03/2025 16:49

She said they all got to see it!!

OP posts:
RawBloomers · 07/03/2025 02:46

That's good to hear!

Original poster
Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 07/03/2025 11:40

They’ve since sent out another parentmail asking all those who haven’t paid, to pay!!

OP posts:
Jiski · 07/03/2025 12:02

That’s ridiculous! I would put in a complaint about how this been handled.

rosemarble · 07/03/2025 12:34

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 07/03/2025 11:40

They’ve since sent out another parentmail asking all those who haven’t paid, to pay!!

You didn't actually speak to the office (or whoever) for any clarification, did you?
Will you do so now?

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