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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s wrong of the school to do this?

169 replies

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 27/02/2025 11:20

My child’s school has paid for a theatre company to come in and perform a show.

They are asking for a ‘voluntary contribution’ of £4 to enable your child to watch. (I am fine with that and have paid).

The office have said only those that have paid will be allowed to go and watch it and those that haven’t will have to stay in the classroom.

I am shocked that they are going to be excluding children who don’t pay (for whatever reason). E.g. they cannot afford to pay/parents didn’t see the notification in time/forgot etc.

Is this the same in other schools? Maybe I’m behind the times and this is the norm these days, but it just feels so wrong to me!

OP posts:
Whoarethoseguys · 01/03/2025 18:27

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 27/02/2025 12:35

I wish my daughter's school did this. I'm happy to pay a bit more to cover the cost of families who genuinely can't afford the cost, but I know loads of family's who can afford and don't pay because it's voluntary

But it's not the fault of the children and they shouldn't suffer because of it.
OP I didn't think schools were allowed to exclude children like this.

tappitytaptap · 01/03/2025 18:31

noblegiraffe · 27/02/2025 11:22

They can’t charge for educational activities that take place during the school day.

Really? Our kids school have done this multiple times, 'history buses' etc

RawBloomers · 01/03/2025 18:54

tappitytaptap · 01/03/2025 18:31

Really? Our kids school have done this multiple times, 'history buses' etc

It's unlawful in England except for musical instruments or if the parents have indicated in advance that they would like their child to bring home whatever they've made - in which case they can charge for materials (but only to cover the costs for the materials the child uses, they can't charge more to cover materials used by the teacher or other children in the class who can't pay).

Schools can ask for contributions but cannot deny the activity to children who do not pay. Even school cooking lessons should be available without children paying or bringing in ingredients if the child doesn't want to keep what they cook.

JustMeAndTheFish · 01/03/2025 19:54

I was bursar and governor in a C of E primary. We had to ask for contributions for some events but we wrote into our school policies that no child would be excluded if the parents couldn’t or wouldn’t pay.
Maybe you could ask to see the school’s inclusion policy to clarify? I appreciate that your child won’t be missing out but in this day and age no school should exclude children from activities for lack of parental contribution.

plumpynoo · 01/03/2025 20:45

The problem is that you get a load of CF not paying because it's voluntary. Two trips have had to be cancelled this year at my daughter's school because less than half the parents decided to pay. I don't mind if it's people who genuinely can't pay, but we are all fairly middle-class, with a plethora of nice cars thronging the streets at pick up. I sincerely doubt that half the year group cannot afford £12 for the bus hire and entry to our local castle! It's just that people hear the word voluntary and decide that they want something for free!

noblegiraffe · 01/03/2025 21:41

tappitytaptap · 01/03/2025 18:31

Really? Our kids school have done this multiple times, 'history buses' etc

No, they can ask for voluntary contributions and they can say that if they don't get enough voluntary contributions the trip can't go ahead, but they can't actually charge for educational activities during the school day (i.e. make attendance conditional on paying).

The OP needs to follow the school complaints procedure and point this out. It's doesn't matter whether any other parents complain or not, the school is legally in the wrong.

Makingmusicinmy50s · 01/03/2025 21:51

Not an educational experience, but I'm a teacher (in reception this year), and at Christmas, only the children who paid £3 got the opportunity to go and visit 'Santa' in our main hall in the middle of the day. Half the class were called to line up, including some with very 'challenging' behaviours shall we say, while the rest were left in class. I had children asking 'why can't I see Santa?' while another child wailed and rolled around on the carpet, screaming to see Santa. The school hadn't even paid an actor to come in and dress up, and we used one of our male teachers. It was a PTA thing to raise money for the school. Appalling.

EcoCustard · 01/03/2025 21:55

Our school PTA fund these activities (I’m on it & Governor). However, It’s ridiculous how few families contribute to any activity from swimming, trips & activities. The majority are not in poverty, trips abroad multiple times etc & they actively say how they haven’t paid or won’t, same with PTA discos etc always attend but contribute zero, ever. We often discuss attendance at events they don’t contribute to but agree it’s not the child, & should always be included. As a parent I’m fed up with it. I can’t imagine any school excluding them.

MaryP23 · 01/03/2025 21:57

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 27/02/2025 11:20

My child’s school has paid for a theatre company to come in and perform a show.

They are asking for a ‘voluntary contribution’ of £4 to enable your child to watch. (I am fine with that and have paid).

The office have said only those that have paid will be allowed to go and watch it and those that haven’t will have to stay in the classroom.

I am shocked that they are going to be excluding children who don’t pay (for whatever reason). E.g. they cannot afford to pay/parents didn’t see the notification in time/forgot etc.

Is this the same in other schools? Maybe I’m behind the times and this is the norm these days, but it just feels so wrong to me!

That’s so wrong. I have worked in this kind of school, offered to pay myself as a teacher and been refused. I would not send my child to a school that does this.

RawBloomers · 01/03/2025 22:04

plumpynoo · 01/03/2025 20:45

The problem is that you get a load of CF not paying because it's voluntary. Two trips have had to be cancelled this year at my daughter's school because less than half the parents decided to pay. I don't mind if it's people who genuinely can't pay, but we are all fairly middle-class, with a plethora of nice cars thronging the streets at pick up. I sincerely doubt that half the year group cannot afford £12 for the bus hire and entry to our local castle! It's just that people hear the word voluntary and decide that they want something for free!

It's not up to the school or a subset of parents to decide, since the government won't fund a richer education, everyone who attends your particular school will be required to. If you want to make people pay more for education, you need to change the law, not just foist it on a particular school.

Moll2020 · 01/03/2025 23:27

This is done in my school. Our budget is so bad, there is zero funds left for anything so we always ask parents to pay. If a parent doesn’t pay the children go into a different class. We try and help if we know it’s a genuine can’t afford to pay but we have a number of parents who don’t pay and can definitely afford it.

RawBloomers · 02/03/2025 00:14

Moll2020 · 01/03/2025 23:27

This is done in my school. Our budget is so bad, there is zero funds left for anything so we always ask parents to pay. If a parent doesn’t pay the children go into a different class. We try and help if we know it’s a genuine can’t afford to pay but we have a number of parents who don’t pay and can definitely afford it.

If you’re a state school in England that’s atrocious and against the law. State schools are not given the authority to develop an enhanced curriculum for parents who want to pay a bit more and a crappier, second class curriculum for those who don’t.

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 02/03/2025 00:24

They can’t do this. Having worked in a school it is infuriating when parents won’t contribute (even though they drive the latest car & go on several foreign holidays each year) and it’s usually the same ones who do contribute each time. We had to cancel trips/visits occasionally because only a couple people contributed. The trouble is schools don’t have very much spare cash.Children can’t be excluded from trips in school time if they don’t contribute.

MaryP23 · 02/03/2025 01:27

As a single parent teacher I always paid for my child’s lunches and educational visits. As a free school meals kid and then a teacher for 30 years, I know fine well that some parents are spending their children’s trip money on the energy meters and food or their alcohol/weed. Children don’t get a say.

RawBloomers · 02/03/2025 03:47

MaryP23 · 02/03/2025 01:27

As a single parent teacher I always paid for my child’s lunches and educational visits. As a free school meals kid and then a teacher for 30 years, I know fine well that some parents are spending their children’s trip money on the energy meters and food or their alcohol/weed. Children don’t get a say.

Here’s the thing. It isn’t the children’s school trip money. It’s the parents’ money that the school would like to spend on a trip.

The law provides for state primary and secondary education to be free at point of service. The parents have paid as much as they are obliged to in their taxes and should be able to rely on that if they want to and spend their own money on electricity or alcohol or a trip with their kids without having to be obliged to fund a more expensive education than the state budget allows for at the school’s whim.

I’m almost always glad when my kids’ school puts trips and activities on and I pay for them and donate to fundraisers. But parents who don’t want to pay for a more expensive education should not be expected or pressured to do so just because I and lots of other parents and teachers want it. And in a state school their children should not be excluded because their parents only want the education their taxes fund.

MaryP23 · 02/03/2025 09:09

I agree. Children should not be excluded from seeing Santa or the theatre show because parents can’t or won’t pay a contribution.

Gymrabbit · 02/03/2025 11:12

MaryP23 · 02/03/2025 09:09

I agree. Children should not be excluded from seeing Santa or the theatre show because parents can’t or won’t pay a contribution.

Absolutely. Surely as a teacher you would be marching up to the Head and complaining not passively sitting there while 5 year olds don’t get to see Santa.
and if the school knows that many parents are unwilling or unable to pay then paid activities should only happen after school so the other kids don’t know they are being left out as much.

JustMeAndTheFish · 02/03/2025 19:33

plumpynoo · 01/03/2025 20:45

The problem is that you get a load of CF not paying because it's voluntary. Two trips have had to be cancelled this year at my daughter's school because less than half the parents decided to pay. I don't mind if it's people who genuinely can't pay, but we are all fairly middle-class, with a plethora of nice cars thronging the streets at pick up. I sincerely doubt that half the year group cannot afford £12 for the bus hire and entry to our local castle! It's just that people hear the word voluntary and decide that they want something for free!

All true but then the school has to make that decision as to whether to go ahead or not. It’s tough. We had pupils whose parents wouldn’t/couldnt pay for the annual residential trip but we as governors took the decision to fund it.

Speckly · 02/03/2025 22:58

As a teacher, I’ve always understood children cannot legally be excluded from any activities arranged as part of the school day/curriculum, including theatre visits, school trips etc. This is appalling behaviour from the school leadership team, totally discriminatory and should NOT be happening. Imagine how those poor kids must feel! 😡 Schools can and usually do ask for voluntary contributions but children of parents who do not pay or cannot pay should definitely not be excluded. To be frank, I’m shocked 😳

marcopront · 03/03/2025 04:00

Speckly · 02/03/2025 22:58

As a teacher, I’ve always understood children cannot legally be excluded from any activities arranged as part of the school day/curriculum, including theatre visits, school trips etc. This is appalling behaviour from the school leadership team, totally discriminatory and should NOT be happening. Imagine how those poor kids must feel! 😡 Schools can and usually do ask for voluntary contributions but children of parents who do not pay or cannot pay should definitely not be excluded. To be frank, I’m shocked 😳

To be frank I am shocked that as a teacher you don't have the critical thinking skills to know we don't know what has happened in this situation only what the office has said.

Even in the previous case it could have been the OPs child wasn't given consent and so couldn't go.

It is possible that the office says this to get the flaky parents to pay.
We don't know what actually happens if a parent gives consent but explains they can't pay.

RawBloomers · 03/03/2025 05:43

marcopront · 03/03/2025 04:00

To be frank I am shocked that as a teacher you don't have the critical thinking skills to know we don't know what has happened in this situation only what the office has said.

Even in the previous case it could have been the OPs child wasn't given consent and so couldn't go.

It is possible that the office says this to get the flaky parents to pay.
We don't know what actually happens if a parent gives consent but explains they can't pay.

Lying to parents to get them to make the contribution would be fraud. So also appalling.

Porcuporpoise · 03/03/2025 06:16

Our primary moved from school trips to enrichment activities in school because so many parents were unwilling to pay their voluntary contribution. Then it turned out that lots of parents won't contribute for those either so now they do sweet fa and people moan about that too. Lots of parents are willing to spend more on after school snacks than they're willing to contribute to their children's education.

GRex · 03/03/2025 07:02

Schools could just have an allowance for non payment; so if the trip for 30 costs £100 then ask for £4 each and 5 non payers don't matter. An ongoing kitty could hold over-payment and be used for the next trip if fewer pay, or PSA funds could add a few £'00 per year to top up for each class needing it.

TunnocksOrDeath · 03/03/2025 08:08

Our school (state primary, London) puts all of the trips and events straight onto parent pay. They also send reminders that if you can't afford it, come and speak to the office because there's a fund which the parents group supports to help with that. I think it's a fair solution to the problem of cf parents who can afford their child's activities but don't stump up.