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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think adding more child benefits is a pointless and futile policy?

189 replies

MelissaExplainsItAll · 27/02/2025 10:30

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/feb/26/parents-under-fives-could-be-exempted-two-child-benefit-cap-uk

I think child poverty would be better relieved in ways other than giving the parents more cash.

For example:

  • better funded breakfast and after school clubs
  • better funded nursery hours (banning top up charges)
  • expansion of free school meals
  • better school funding
  • direct funding of school holiday clubs

AIBU?

OP posts:
x2boys · 27/02/2025 16:22

MyLimeGuide · 27/02/2025 16:20

Who's talking about disabled people???

The poster I was replying too who thinks child related benefits including DLA are far to generous.

KurtCobainLover · 27/02/2025 16:37

.

Mrsttcno1 · 27/02/2025 16:39

KurtCobainLover · 27/02/2025 16:37

.

Edited

I don’t think anybody has made any negative comments towards anyone in your situation?

It has been said multiple times, including by the OP, that it is absolutely a different thing entirely if your circumstances change once you already have children. Life happens, it can’t be helped.

That is a totally different situation to bringing children into the world knowing you cannot afford to feed, clothe, house them etc.

MelissaExplainsItAll · 27/02/2025 16:40

KurtCobainLover · 27/02/2025 16:37

.

Edited

Nobody’s said that. However if you’d have been a disabled and single with a very low income when you’d chosen to have three children in unsuitable housing, that’d be different.

OP posts:
Thisismeme · 27/02/2025 16:44

How about increasing the amount of child benefit? It’s quite a low amount and decreases for a second child. it hasn’t kept up with cost of living rises

MyLimeGuide · 27/02/2025 16:46

KurtCobainLover · 27/02/2025 16:37

.

Edited

No you are not a case of a neglectful parent.

Wildflowers99 · 27/02/2025 17:03

MelissaExplainsItAll · 27/02/2025 16:40

Nobody’s said that. However if you’d have been a disabled and single with a very low income when you’d chosen to have three children in unsuitable housing, that’d be different.

It’s uncomfortable but it is an issue. There are several local families here who have 4/5 children, each of them (for whatever reason and I don’t want to speculate) end up with a diagnosis or are very delayed to the point of SEN, the parents are on benefits and struggling to cope yet every couple of years another baby appears. I know it’s uncomfortable to discuss but are financial incentives to have children the right thing for these families?

MyLimeGuide · 27/02/2025 17:06

Thisismeme · 27/02/2025 16:44

How about increasing the amount of child benefit? It’s quite a low amount and decreases for a second child. it hasn’t kept up with cost of living rises

How about no.

Itisbetter · 27/02/2025 17:12

Wildflowers99 · 27/02/2025 17:03

It’s uncomfortable but it is an issue. There are several local families here who have 4/5 children, each of them (for whatever reason and I don’t want to speculate) end up with a diagnosis or are very delayed to the point of SEN, the parents are on benefits and struggling to cope yet every couple of years another baby appears. I know it’s uncomfortable to discuss but are financial incentives to have children the right thing for these families?

Do you feel like disabled people are better off not born? How very retro.

biscuitandcake · 27/02/2025 17:31

Wildflowers99 · 27/02/2025 16:21

I hate to be that person, but how is this the case? As I said above, a parent with 2 children on DLA and caring responsibilities would receive ~£3,000 in benefits per month. That’s a £37k salary. There are multiple families in this area with 3 or even 4 children all on DLA who will be receiving even more than that. (And when I did the calculator I entered lower rate DLA, so if higher rate it would be significantly more than that)

It costs more to give disabled children the same quality of life as non-disabled children. Scope estimates it can cost more than 900 pounds a month. https://www.scope.org.uk/campaigns/extra-costs I have seen other sources saying 500 - I am sure you could debate the actual amount since it depends how you calculate it/what you consider a decent quality of life. But even things like transport can cost more. Unless you have talked to someone in that situation its hard to understand the extent to which every single thing can be impacted because we take so much for granted - even leaving the house.

Very often one parent can't work if the children are disabled. But even if one parent is working their career can still be impacted - often children with disablities are seriously ill and can have health emergencies. And maybe the working parent needs to take on things like picking up other children from school etc while the SAHP cares for the child(ren) with disabilities.

Your online calculator won't tell you that. Of course some parents will take the P. e.g.there have been cases where foster parents essentially treated foster care as a business and starved their children while pocketing the income**. That doesn't mean we shouldn't pay foster parents - just that we should crack down on abusive ones. Some parents are abusive/neglectful. But parents are more likely than anyone else to have their children's best interests at heart - statistically most parents are not profiting from their children and a benefits system that assumes they are would be an appalling one

**This is more common in America where there seems to be less regulation and foster care farms more of a thing.

OldTiredMum1976 · 27/02/2025 17:49

There is a small sample size here in the hospital waiting room as I sit now. There are 4 children being seen as private patients and one as NHS. The 4 private children are currently being read to by their parent, talking to their parent and eating some cheese, reading Lord of the Flies and doing some homework. The NHS child is running around the room with a disengaged parent on his phone who is keeping her quiet with a can of Monster drink and a bag of Haribo. She’s just called everyone in the waiting room ‘fat pigs’. It costs nothing to bring a book to read to your child. This is the difference. These are the sort of people who should not be encouraged to breed any more children.

AndSoFinally · 27/02/2025 18:02

The main driver of child poverty and the increase in child poverty is the 2 child benefit cap

Really? Surely it's having more children than you can comfortably afford to pay for?

MistressoftheDarkSide · 27/02/2025 18:06

OldTiredMum1976 · 27/02/2025 17:49

There is a small sample size here in the hospital waiting room as I sit now. There are 4 children being seen as private patients and one as NHS. The 4 private children are currently being read to by their parent, talking to their parent and eating some cheese, reading Lord of the Flies and doing some homework. The NHS child is running around the room with a disengaged parent on his phone who is keeping her quiet with a can of Monster drink and a bag of Haribo. She’s just called everyone in the waiting room ‘fat pigs’. It costs nothing to bring a book to read to your child. This is the difference. These are the sort of people who should not be encouraged to breed any more children.

Edited

Oh aye 🙄

I hope their goat was tied up responsibly outside.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 27/02/2025 18:08

And just in case that post was satire, Lord of the Flies is a genius touch.

OldTiredMum1976 · 27/02/2025 18:11

MistressoftheDarkSide · 27/02/2025 18:08

And just in case that post was satire, Lord of the Flies is a genius touch.

Not sure why you don’t believe me. Said child has just been called in - Spirit was her name 😂😂 I couldn’t actually make it up. Photo of book because for some reason you doubt me 🙄🙄

To think adding more child benefits is a pointless and futile policy?
Youagain2025 · 27/02/2025 18:17

SlipDigby · 27/02/2025 10:43

Sure there are some feckless folk around but people generally know their own needs better than governments and just giving them cash is usually the best way of ensuring those needs are met.

Case in point - most of your suggestions would only at best indirectly help someone needing to provide for an under 5 year old and even then only if they are funded and function adequately which these sorts of things seldom do.

Sure there are some feckless folk around but people generally know their own needs better than governments and just giving them cash is usually the best way of ensuring those needs are met

In the school holidays i can get aldi vouchers from the school . Only i can't use them because I can't go to aldi as my son has autism and can't cope in aldi. Also I don't drive abd it's time hard for me to carry heavy shopping on a bus. In my case I can manage without them . But there will be people simlar to me who really need them.

My daughters school does e-vouchers and you can choose the store which is much better

MistressoftheDarkSide · 27/02/2025 18:19

OldTiredMum1976 · 27/02/2025 18:11

Not sure why you don’t believe me. Said child has just been called in - Spirit was her name 😂😂 I couldn’t actually make it up. Photo of book because for some reason you doubt me 🙄🙄

I've never known a surgery where the hoi polloi was allowed to rub shoulders with the private patients in such a blatantly obvious way. Is there first and second class seating? A demarcation line? Special badges?

OldTiredMum1976 · 27/02/2025 18:21

MistressoftheDarkSide · 27/02/2025 18:19

I've never known a surgery where the hoi polloi was allowed to rub shoulders with the private patients in such a blatantly obvious way. Is there first and second class seating? A demarcation line? Special badges?

It’s actually a private GP practice where an ENT doctor has his clinic. Some NHS patients are seen here as well due to long waiting lists - another waste of tax payer’s money. Not sure why you think that’s such a gotcha 🙄

Itisbetter · 27/02/2025 18:25

Don’t be ridiculous, Haribo kid may be saving your life in twenty years time, as a surgeon or a fireman, or a priest and Lord of the Flies child may think you are all Piggy and murder you. How can you be so blinkered?

Scrubberdubber · 27/02/2025 18:26

OldTiredMum1976 · 27/02/2025 17:49

There is a small sample size here in the hospital waiting room as I sit now. There are 4 children being seen as private patients and one as NHS. The 4 private children are currently being read to by their parent, talking to their parent and eating some cheese, reading Lord of the Flies and doing some homework. The NHS child is running around the room with a disengaged parent on his phone who is keeping her quiet with a can of Monster drink and a bag of Haribo. She’s just called everyone in the waiting room ‘fat pigs’. It costs nothing to bring a book to read to your child. This is the difference. These are the sort of people who should not be encouraged to breed any more children.

Edited

Saying that people in poverty shouldn't have kids is one thing and many would agree but you have to be considerably wealthy to afford private healthcare (compared to the average person not the average lying mumsnetter haha)

If only those people had children, well there wouldn't be many people left in the world.

Your comment did make me laugh though

MistressoftheDarkSide · 27/02/2025 18:27

OldTiredMum1976 · 27/02/2025 18:21

It’s actually a private GP practice where an ENT doctor has his clinic. Some NHS patients are seen here as well due to long waiting lists - another waste of tax payer’s money. Not sure why you think that’s such a gotcha 🙄

Are you listening to yourself? A waste of tax payers money when people need treatment but it has to be provided privately ? We can all agree that budgeting for the NHS is dire but it really sounds as if you think "those people" should just suffer rather than a solution being provided.

OldTiredMum1976 · 27/02/2025 18:30

Itisbetter · 27/02/2025 18:25

Don’t be ridiculous, Haribo kid may be saving your life in twenty years time, as a surgeon or a fireman, or a priest and Lord of the Flies child may think you are all Piggy and murder you. How can you be so blinkered?

Hahaha I think the odds of the ‘Spirit’ kid being a useful member of society is fairly slim 😂. I’d happily have a wager on that.

Wildflowers99 · 27/02/2025 18:38

Itisbetter · 27/02/2025 17:12

Do you feel like disabled people are better off not born? How very retro.

I am disabled.

Would you use that ‘logic’ to encourage everyone to have as many children as possible, so these hypothetical souls don’t miss out?

Itisbetter · 27/02/2025 19:06

Wildflowers99 · 27/02/2025 18:38

I am disabled.

Would you use that ‘logic’ to encourage everyone to have as many children as possible, so these hypothetical souls don’t miss out?

I think people should choose how many children they have. It’s not a group decision and it certainly isn’t up to the hive to decide who is worthy of having children.

Wildflowers99 · 27/02/2025 19:07

Itisbetter · 27/02/2025 19:06

I think people should choose how many children they have. It’s not a group decision and it certainly isn’t up to the hive to decide who is worthy of having children.

But it is up to them to foot the bill?