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Original poster

Angry and frustrated with ex, please HELP!!!

33 replies

Tossandturn · 27/02/2025 07:09

Broke up with my partner last month, we were together for 11 months.
I am 51 he is 49.

The problem is, I had some of the most exciting times with him day in and day out, I was quite deeply in love.

Something happened, he forced my hand such that I had to end the relationship.

The only problem was that I had never ever in my whole life experienced anything even remotely close to the sexual chemistry I experienced with him.
Frankly, up until then, I hadn’t even imagined such heights were possible.

My problem now is I am finding it difficult to forget that, my body got used to him. I find myself in a state of semi arousal day in day out, I can’t help it, it’s upsetting me, and actually it’s making me angry. Why did he have to force my hand like that? Now I feel deprived, I don’t know if I’ll experience something like that ever again, yet a crave that experience daily.

Please help me sort this out and work through it, I’m really struggling, very frustrated, and I don’t even know where all this anger is coming from. I feel so totally messed up.

Talk to me, help me, advise me. TIA

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 27/02/2025 07:12

I'll take a stab at this, he love bombed you then pushed your boundaries so you said no.

Is this correct?

If so it wasn't a real relationship and you dodged a bullet.

DustyLee123 · 27/02/2025 07:12

How old are you? It could be your hormones rather than him.

FatLarrysBanned · 27/02/2025 07:14

DustyLee123 · 27/02/2025 07:12

How old are you? It could be your hormones rather than him.

I am 51 he is 49.

DustyLee123 · 27/02/2025 07:15

FatLarrysBanned · 27/02/2025 07:14

I am 51 he is 49.

Show quote history

Is this a name change fail?

curtaintwitcher78 · 27/02/2025 07:15

You're not giving the full picture so how can anyone help.

FatLarrysBanned · 27/02/2025 07:16

DustyLee123 · 27/02/2025 07:15

Is this a name change fail?

Show quote history

No. I was just quoting that the OP posted her age in the 3rd line of her opening post.

DustyLee123 · 27/02/2025 07:17

FatLarrysBanned · 27/02/2025 07:16

No. I was just quoting that the OP posted her age in the 3rd line of her opening post.

Show quote history

I’m too busy trying to post and watch F1 😂😂

Doggymummar · 27/02/2025 07:17

Get a vibrator you'll soon be buzzing again

lobsterkiller · 27/02/2025 07:23

Been there OP, incredible sex and good chemistry. Thing was he's a twat, a fabulous in bed twat. An empty vessel of a person who regardless of the great sex and days out was and probably still is a twat.

Once I finally realised that, I became repulsed by him. This didn't happen overnight, it took more time than he deserved. Its not nice going through it but you'll get there.

MiserableMrsMopp · 27/02/2025 07:26

Don't give in to it. I had a LTR based on chemistry like this. When the chemistry calmed down I worked out (far, far too late) what an idiot he was. The chemistry literally blocked my common sense. It makes me angry now, knowing the time I wasted on him.

Gettingbysomehow · 27/02/2025 07:34

Can't help thinking this post sounds fake. Cheap thrill fake.

FreeWave · 27/02/2025 07:37

Why do you say he forced you to end the relationship? Because you were used to him, so he left you and you were angry and frustrated. I don't understand, your words are confusing.

curtaintwitcher78 · 27/02/2025 09:28

Gettingbysomehow · 27/02/2025 07:34

Can't help thinking this post sounds fake. Cheap thrill fake.

Yeah it's bullshit isn't it.

DylanThomasWritingShed · 27/02/2025 09:35

lobsterkiller · 27/02/2025 07:23

Been there OP, incredible sex and good chemistry. Thing was he's a twat, a fabulous in bed twat. An empty vessel of a person who regardless of the great sex and days out was and probably still is a twat.

Once I finally realised that, I became repulsed by him. This didn't happen overnight, it took more time than he deserved. Its not nice going through it but you'll get there.

This happened to me at age 50 too. Great sex, some lovely days and nights out, but not a good man. I rarely ever think of him now.

pinkdelight · 27/02/2025 09:58

DustyLee123 · 27/02/2025 07:12

How old are you? It could be your hormones rather than him.

That's what I wondered too - about the hormones. Feels more to do with what's going on inside OP than the qualities of this man IRL. Good that it's ended by the sounds of it. Being in constant arousal sounds exhausting and distracting. Best to take care of yourself in that respect and pursue more balanced partners.

LunaLove1 · 27/02/2025 10:00

Keep busy you’ll get over him.

Original poster
Tossandturn · 27/02/2025 16:39

lobsterkiller · 27/02/2025 07:23

Been there OP, incredible sex and good chemistry. Thing was he's a twat, a fabulous in bed twat. An empty vessel of a person who regardless of the great sex and days out was and probably still is a twat.

Once I finally realised that, I became repulsed by him. This didn't happen overnight, it took more time than he deserved. Its not nice going through it but you'll get there.

It’s taking too long already and I have NO patience with it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tossandturn · 27/02/2025 16:41

MiserableMrsMopp · 27/02/2025 07:26

Don't give in to it. I had a LTR based on chemistry like this. When the chemistry calmed down I worked out (far, far too late) what an idiot he was. The chemistry literally blocked my common sense. It makes me angry now, knowing the time I wasted on him.

What is the bloody meaning of this type of chemistry?? How can it hook you to someone so awful! Some kind of epic self sabotage?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tossandturn · 27/02/2025 16:43

Gettingbysomehow · 27/02/2025 07:34

Can't help thinking this post sounds fake. Cheap thrill fake.

What aspect of my post led you to believe that? You don’t believe strong chemistry exists?

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/02/2025 16:43

One of the rare occasions on here where perimenopause is probably the answer, as there can be a last burst of hormones that cause this.

It'll fade.

Original poster
Tossandturn · 27/02/2025 16:44

DylanThomasWritingShed · 27/02/2025 09:35

This happened to me at age 50 too. Great sex, some lovely days and nights out, but not a good man. I rarely ever think of him now.

Show quote history

How long did it take you to be over it?

OP posts:
FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 27/02/2025 16:44

This type of chemsity is usually only felt with toxic people who use psychologically manipulative tactics to hook you in.

They brcome like a drug and the world feels grey without them. Less intense, less colourful, less enjoyable.

Everyone else feels boring in comparison and he has almost conditioned your body into viewing him as it's source of sexual fulfillment.

You have to go into recovery and Stop entertaining thoughts about him.

I highly recommend reading some romance or erotica novels and begin fantasising about future people and begin self pleasuring.

Original poster
Tossandturn · 27/02/2025 16:45

pinkdelight · 27/02/2025 09:58

That's what I wondered too - about the hormones. Feels more to do with what's going on inside OP than the qualities of this man IRL. Good that it's ended by the sounds of it. Being in constant arousal sounds exhausting and distracting. Best to take care of yourself in that respect and pursue more balanced partners.

Show quote history

It’s really genuinely unpleasant, if I could shake it off in an instant I would jump at the chance

OP posts:
Original poster
Tossandturn · 27/02/2025 16:46

pinkdelight · 27/02/2025 09:58

That's what I wondered too - about the hormones. Feels more to do with what's going on inside OP than the qualities of this man IRL. Good that it's ended by the sounds of it. Being in constant arousal sounds exhausting and distracting. Best to take care of yourself in that respect and pursue more balanced partners.

Show quote history

Besides, I was fine before I met him, he seems to have flipped a switch which refuses to go back to off again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tossandturn · 27/02/2025 16:48

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/02/2025 16:43

One of the rare occasions on here where perimenopause is probably the answer, as there can be a last burst of hormones that cause this.

It'll fade.

It’s fucking torturous, how do I turn it off??

OP posts: