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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re Mother's Day?

55 replies

leelou11 · 26/02/2025 20:43

Hi! Quick post, nothing has been said but wanting to sound out others views on the matter.

Had child, 5 months old. First Mother's Day together as a family and I've suggested that we go to the zoo/aquarium for the day. DH is happy with this.

MIL has suggested going to hers for a roast as a family (with her 3 other sons). The weekend prior we are already going out together for a roast. I don't have the best relationship with his mum as she's very overbearing, but I keep my opinions to myself for family's sake.

DH suggested seeing his mother the day before or day after (I am seeing my mother the day after) but MIL suggested that she wouldn't be happy with this and wants to see them all together. She said she's invited me so doesn't see why we can't all go.

AIBU to want to spend my first Mother's Day together as a family, not to include M/BIL? What do others do for Mother's Day?

TIA

OP posts:
DappledThings · 27/02/2025 07:55

thepariscrimefiles · 27/02/2025 07:01

Surely it's OP's MIL who is expecting an adult who isn't her child (OP) to celebrate her as a mother by expecting OP to attend the lunch?

Most caring husbands/partners celebrate their wives/partners as a mother when the children are too young to organise presents/cards/meals out themselves.

Show quote history

More just expecting her son to do it and OP to tag along as she isn't doing anything with her own mum.

I don't think anyone's being particularly reasonable. The whole day out and special lunches business for anyone is alien to me. Card delivered, job done. Have a nice day out to the aquarium any time. Have a nice roast dinner with the in-laws any time. If everyone stopped attaching such ridiculous importance to one random and changeable Sunday a year none of these unnecessary conflicts would appear.

DappledThings · 27/02/2025 08:02

Cannot bear the advertising of lunch out, flowers, chocolate. Treat women with basic respect every day and scrap the event.
This. Far too many men treating it as a get out of jail free card to make a little effort one day a year and not have to bother the other 364. Posts every year on here of women saying they got their one lie-in for the year and got a meal cooked for them for once. That should be happening all the time. Not just once in March.

HhalloNine · 27/02/2025 08:08

Compromise, everyone. Less drama.

Invite all of those going to MiL’s for Sunday lunch, out for the day with you, include lunch.

Seeline · 27/02/2025 08:23

Glitchymn1 · 26/02/2025 20:57

I ended up hosting DM and MIL, both have lifts back and forth, cards, presents, flowers, the wine flows- I cook a roast….. it’s now expected every year.

Don’t start anything you don’t mean to keep up, call over in the morning and give card/flowers! and enjoy the rest of your day! or you could be stuck doing the same thing every year.

This!!

I made that mistake (and having both mothers local doesn't help!).

My kids are in their early 20s now and I've only had one Mother's Day as my own little family - thanks to Lockdown.

GabriellaMontez · 27/02/2025 08:29

she said she's invited me so doesn't see why we can't all go

She actually said this? I can see why you don't want to go...

And the answer is "because we're busy".

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