How many presents do you get for your birthday?

[salemcooper]

Am I the silly goose or is DH? As an adult I do not expect birthday presents. I got one from DH/DD and my parents and that was it. And that was more than I expected. Once you have kids you can expect that the focus shifts, in my opinion!

DH got rather upset when he only received presents from 4 people (me and dd, my parents, his parents and grandparents) and felt really hard done by. At nearly 40!

As an adult, how many gifts do you get for your bd and would you be sad if you received fewer?

I receive presents from Dh, Ds, mum, sister, brother and niece. Dh is a brilliant gift buyer, we always get something specific asked for and suprises for each other . We brought ds up to understand you buy gifts for family. Started off by buying presents with him there, talking about them etc, then supporting him to choose when he was a bit older, paying and so on. He's now 19 and incredibly thoughtful at gifts. He's been buying completely independently for a few years. I think it's so important for children to know they should gift others or they become selfish and expectant. We used to buy from ds when he was little but involve him in the process. We paid for the other parents/gp's presents for years until ds could buy himself but he always had a lot of input. .

I don't get much nor do I expect it. Dh will buy me something though sometimes we do a trip or outing I want instead, one year I got a £12k kitchen! My parents buy me a present or give me money, my dc (adults) may give me a gift, well the younger one will, the other has enough trouble remembering to look after herself

I get a present from each of my adult kids. And sometimes my DB sends me something. But I always encouraged the kids to buy presents for each other and for me and their dad, the habit has continued, although they don't buy anything for their dad (who was never very present in their lives when they were growing up, we divorced when they were all small). They just message him happy birthday.

When the kids were small they didn't get me anything and their dad never bothered. I'd have birthdays and Christmases where I didn't have one single thing to unwrap, and that pissed me off because I always made an effort for others birthdays.

I usually get presents/money from
DH and DC
My parents
My sister
Parents in law
Brother in law
Friends x5 (token gift)

None of the above is expected, but I am always grateful. I'm easily pleased. I'm more than happy with a book and bag of sweets.

I get one or two from DH and the kids and usually a handful of cards- maybe 4 or 5. I don't feel I need birthday fuss at my age. I DO like cake though and would probably be disappointed if DH and the kids didn't make or buy a cake (they almost always do, and I have often had a homemade cake on Mother's Day too, which is lovely.)

A card is enough.
Occasionally a small bunch of tulips and a small bar of wholenut.

I get presents from my DH, DS, a couple of friends and an aunt who always sends me money. Parents/ILs are no longer around.

I say I get a present from DH but we are normally away over my birthday so I tend to choose myself something, or he gets me something over there. Or there may be something I want that we'll agree is my birthday present but I get it as and when. Same for him, I tend to get him something small so he has a gift to open on the day.

My last birthday- gifts from
3 friends
Dh
My boss
My parents

Cards from maybe 12 more people

I don't understand this attitude at all but someone younger than me, and married, said to me "well no one gets gifts at our age". I don't understand it.

@roselilylavender That's very sweet of you and I'm sure your friends appreciate it. I didn't know if I'd get more than one gift this year. I really appreciate that other people bought something.

To be fair, the OP's DH had a number of gifts from close family. I mean, did he expect work colleagues, acquaintances or his rugby team (or whatever) to buy him gifts? I wouldn't say that was particularly common, especially amongst men and as you get older.

I didn't get any this year, but I wasn't expecting any.

DH and DC, MIL and uncle. But not expecting anything and do not really think birthdays are important for adults. I find adults making a big deal out of their birthdays are quite ridiculous tbh. Would never say so irl ofcourse:).

@ginasevern that's why I asked if he has friends - or perhaps other relatives etc.

Would you find a 40th birthday party ridiculous?

It’s actually my birthday today , think I’ve got about 15 gifts from 5 groups (3 from DH) and a little bit of cash which I spent taking my mum and niece out for lunch 😀

I probably get about 4 or 5 presents. I could do without them really. Nobody gets me anything I actually want, mostly endless bath stuff. I’m not bothered about my birthday anymore so I don’t really care.

I usually get money from my mum, presents from DH and DC, something from my sister, something from my aunt/cousin and something from my in laws. It's always very much appreciated but never expected.

Yes. But I would go, smile and bring a gift so you would never know:).

I think an adult needs to host a shindig if they want pressies usually.

He's lucky, I got to go to a funeral for my 50th.

Yay and many happy returns, I'm glad you have good people 💐🥂🎂🥳

I love birthdays but don’t expect lots. Usually get gifts from DC, DH, my parents, brother and best friends

This. I would not voice my opinion aloud though.

Husband and child, FIL (usually a voucher facilitated by my husband nowadays as FIL is 88 (but he still always buys a lovely birthday card that says to my daughter in law) and some cash in a generic card that you'd get for an acquaintance from my mum! A small/token present from one friend.

I get presents from DH, DS, DD, sometimes my mum (a token), sometimes my siblings (DB tends to forget 2 years in 3 then send something extravagent on the third).

I like getting something from DH. Would be more than happy with a card from everyone else.

I only give gifts to friends if they're having a party.

I get 10-15 from my parents and 6-10 from DH and the kids. We LOVE birthdays and go all out.