Aibu to treat gfs differently to bfs?

[DarkForces]

Apologies I posted in LGBT children but no one could help so trying here. Hoping parents of bisexual children can help with my dilemma!

Dd is 13 and bisexual. Her current gf is a year younger and the first boy/girl she's dated she actually seems to like. They asked each other out at a sleepover and then had a cuddle all night (there was another friend there so sure nothing else happened). The problem is Dd wants another sleepover and whist I don't have a massive problem with it I wouldn't allow it if she (the gf) was a boy. Also Dd is definitely still at the stage intimacy beyond a quick kiss is icky so it's all very sweet and safe.

However, I feel if I allow this for a girl I'd have to for a boy and that feels very different. The risks of being pushed into sex feel higher, obviously pregnancy is a risk... also as she wants to experience more with a partner my boundaries may shift. I can hardly allow her more freedom at 13 than 15!

Any advice on navigating this would help. I feel I probably should just say no to sleepovers with more than friends as all relationships are equal. When we started to discuss this I told her I thought this is where I'd end up as all her partners are equal to me whatever sex they are, but I've asked for some time to think about it.

So would I be unreasonable to treat gfs differently to bfs in terms of allowing sleepovers with the door open for girls but not boys?

Thanks all. Got the advice I needed and I'm out.

Well i think it's tricky. You're very lucky your daughter has told you about what's going on and my worry would be if you don't let GFs sleep over is she just won't tell you who she's in a relationship with

Just for a different perspective, I'm a lesbian. I wouldn't allow a 13 year old to have a sleepover with a partner of either sex. 14 year olds are full of hormones. It's a prime time for young people to be exploring their own body and sense of sexuality. Letting them share a bed is likely to result in something happening. I had sleepovers with my purely platonic (and all straight!) friends at that age, and we'd do things like put this dodgy channel called Sexetera on TV at 3am when everyone was asleep, and look up porn lol (defo the days before internet safety). It wasn't sexual at all and I didn't have sex until uni, but we were certainly very curious! Two curious dating girls together are likely to end up doing something! You hear similar tales of boys (straight friends) watching porn together at that age. Young people are very curious about sex, but we don't talk about it much due to the taboo.

Also please ensure DD knows you can still catch STIs from another girl. Talk to her about dental dams etc. I wouldn't have known that at that age. If she's going to do something sexual then they'll find a way, but I wouldn't encourage it by having sleepovers either.

Surely a sleepover does not involve sharing a bed .

They are not "in a relationship". They might think they are, because they're children. The adults around them need to reaffirm that they are too young for any romantic, and certainly sexual, attachments.

So just because its a vagina instead of a penis and theres no danger of pregnancy, its ok for 12 and 13yr old to have sleepovers when they admit to liking each other.

For once i'm actually almost speechless.