To think driveway blockers are unreasonably disrespectful… (school parking rant)

[KcEliMa]

Firstly, I actually apologise in advance. I’m not necessarily on the correct thread, but this seemed the only choice for my topic.

I’m suspecting there will be some on the other side of my opinion who disagree/ argue against what I say (I am anticipating backlash - so I do beg for peeps to be kind please)

So! I’m one of those crazy, foolish people who live near a school who doesn’t have children attending said school.
Now, before people come at me for that (see, I already feel the need to defend and explain myself) when we moved here a few years ago, the school was minuscule. 20 pupils, if that, and hardly an issue at all. But then, a couple of years ago, the trust closed another local school and mixed the two together here, so we have a massive majority of children coming in from surrounding areas. The school have then expanded twice since with a crèche-type thing and a preschool.
I would guesstimate that at least 90% of the children are from further areas and that the school have easily quadrupled their intake. Plus, it’s very rural and there are zero public transport options.
For further context though, there is off-street parking available. A very large car park is available. It would literally take parents and children an extra 10, maybe 15 seconds to walk from said car park to the school gates.

Right, to my actual issue.
Parking!
Why do school parents believe it is their sacred right to park however and wherever they like?! I won’t get into how dangerous the road is being made by the absurd quality and levels of parking etc, but to my personal gripe - inconsiderate and disrespectful parking over driveways.

It’s a constant issue that no one wants to take responsibility for or deal with. There’s only around 12 houses outside the school but we’re all subservient to the parents who decide it’s perfectly reasonable to deny people access in and out of their properties.
What I’m completely and utterly baffled by further is, when you calmly and diplomatically try to reason/ ‘challenge’ these people (for want of a better word), they don’t own up to their inconsideration and move on, they want to stand and argue and get nasty.
I’ve given up to a degree, because it actually puts my family and home at risk just to ask people to move on.

BUT today I had one encounter that was completely baffling. I got called discriminatory names, told to STFU - and I didn’t even say a word. Yes, I walked to the end of my drive, I then stood inside my drive behind closed gates and just wanted to ask the person to move on - but the abuse I got! 😮 my husband is now annoyed with me because he thinks, with the calibre of person it was, they’ll want to play games now and repeatedly park outside and that we are at a level of vulnerability, with the people obviously knowing where we live but us not knowing them.

I guess I’m not really asking AIBU, I suppose my query is more Why Are These People So Unreasonable?!
And, is there anyone else out there in any kind of similar situation? I need people who understand the strain it puts on us who suffer! Please!

@LoveBluey am with you I will park further away and walk it's not that bloody difficult

Depends where you are I guess on how difficult it is to go elsewhere with your car. In our town we've got a plethora of resident parking schemes, one way systems, no stopping streets, pedestrian only streets, traffic " calming" ("infuriating" is more accurate) chicanes, bollards, humps, "school streets" that just shift school traffic to their neighbours, private parking companies with anpr technology and Kafkaesque fining practices all designed to make driving and parking as unpleasant and stressful as possible, even though most jobs are in the out of town council approved commercial business parks while public transport is shit, unreliable and expensive. Seems like no one wants anyone to go anywhere these days.

We had similar in my childhood home as we lived at the seaside. My dad would park as close as possible to the Problematic Car one side, then he would park my mums car really close the other side so the car literally couldn’t move. They would have to knock on random doors looking for whose cars they were to move.

It's already been said there is a car park vv close

Schools are full of the goody goody types who don’t want the confrontation with arsy parents.

There was one village Head I knew though, she was very attractive and charming and ballsy. She got away with it. She would be out by the school gates greeting with a megawatt smile but she wouldn’t hesitate to pull up the entitled zig-zag parkers with a Headteachery ‘come on now Mr Wilson…’ and she’d shame all the dangerous and inconsiderate fuckwits. Pure class.

My DD's old primary school had problem parkers. It was a fun day when the traffic wardens came out and ticketed them although it didn't stop them and they continued to illegally park.

Strangely there were a group of parents who would get to school early just to nab the closest illegal spaces and then sit there for 10 mins. They could have parked safely and legally but that would mean an extra minute walk so not easy for them to do apparently. A previous poster is spot on about the gym wear mums that can't walk more than 30 seconds. Bonus points for being in a massive SUV they can't drive.

Or to supervise it.

An idea thought up by someone who has no clue how schools work, obviously.

We moved when a new school was built near us.
School was not there when we first lived there.
Old neighbours are constantly complaining to us about people parking up blocking access and running their engines.
The school has a car park but does not let parents use it

I'd inform the school about it as they will likely be able to identify the culprit. I'd be tempted to mention involving the police about the encounter if they used discrimatory language as could it be considered a hate crime? Our local school now actually has a closure on the street to stop parents parking directly outside school.

I work for the NHS and do home visits. Arranged a visit for 3pm. Not realising the house was opposite a school that finished at 3:15 and parking within a 5 minute walk would be impossible. I even tried to squeeze across the patient's drive as I knew they wouldn't need it while I was there obviously. But the idiot in the car behind me didn't get the hint and move back enough for me to squeeze in, even when I got out and surveyed my attempts in my uniform. He was parked literally across the road from a sign that said 'Parents - respect our neighbours and do not park on school street' 🙄

You need to become a nuisance to the school and Parish Council. Complain to them EVERY time it happens.

Humans in volume, especially plus cars, equals mayhem. It's not just near schools. It's near any public place which attracts large volumes of cars at one time. People that live near a sports ground have a similar issue for hours at a time twice a week. People who live near a local beauty spot with a car park gets full on a sunny day. There are lots of ways in which we are inconvenienced by other humans, that's why some people choose to live up a mountain in Wales six miles from the nearest neighbour. Twats everywhere. It's not personal.

we’ve installed blinds that I shut at around school run times so I don’t see what’s going on

For your own sake and that of your DH and your relationship with him, I'd say that you would be best off trying to dial down the focus on this, and accept that yes they're in the wrong and you're in the right, but that you don't necessarily need to "do something" about it, if that is at all possible.

If you're trying to leave the house in your car at the (very predictable) time that you know it might be made difficult, then by all means head out and ask them to move. Otherwise, as a thought experiment, imagine you can't control other people's behaviour, only your own thoughts about it. See if that helps. It's that or remain in a permanent state of twice daily agitation, or move.

Because those parents are assholes who don't care. Their children are similar.
When mine were at primary i wouldn't chat to those types.

School do acknowledge the issue but waiver any and all responsibility, stating it’s a public highway and they have no control over individuals (I appreciate this is factually correct, but I always think, if the other way around and visitors of mine were disrupting the school, I should and would be held responsible for their behaviour, seems as it’s due to myself that they would be there - if that makes sense?!)

Maybe you and some other residents should take it in turns to block the headteacher's car in the staff car park so they can't leave at the end of the day. They'd soon change their tune at that point.

I don't think you're being at all unreasonable and of course you shouldn't have people parking over your crossover. But it's a problem at every school I've ever worked with - there are unfortunately many lazy, entitled parents everywhere. All schools can do is mention parking problems in their newsletters, and I know a couple of schools thst publish the number plates and description of card that residents report to them. One of the schools I work with organised a rota for staff to wait outside school at picking up time to tell parents that they couldn't park on the zig zags or across neighbours' drives. This was after a disabled resident was unable to get out of their drive on more than one occasion to get to a hospital appointment, but they had to stop thst after two members of staff were assaulted and quite serious threats were made to the headteacher when she intervened. I don't know what it's like in other areas, but in my borough schools are only entitled to one visit per term from a parking warden .

I can understand why residents get so angry and kudos to the resident who blocked the road!

So people who complain about people blocking others in…block others in…

Unreasonable. Poor headteacher after a long working day.

It’s because they are inconsiderate c u n t s

Follow them home and park across their driveway on a regular basis. I am quite petty though.

A friends school the head goes out and takes photos of inconsiderate Parker's and emails the pictures out weekly in a name and shame email.
He also will walk the streets and speak to parents about their parking
It's hilarious

What I find fascinating is how we have evolved as a society in Britain to believe a "mouthful of abuse" should be the standard reply to someone speaking what's right and correct.

I'm going to tell a story which may massively out me here but who cares -

Years ago I parked with my car partially up on a kerb. This was because the narrow road near the school meant that if you parked both sides of the road correctly, you would narrow the road too much.

A parent came out from the other school near our school, and she knocked on my window and told me firmly but politely that I shouldn't park here. There are SEN children who can't use the pavement fully because of this kind of parking.

I was so embarrassed! I knew I was wrong. I knew I'd set out late and hadn't left enough time for me to park anywhere near enough to get to the school on time.

So I just "took the L" as the kids say. I nodded, I apologised, I said to her "it's a very fair point well made, I won't do it" and moved on.

Anyway the point is, we're weirdly "friends" now in the sense we stop and speak when I'm on the school run, I know of her DD etc and their lives.

Why tell this overwrought story? Because for me I can't stand, I really can't bear how much in Britain no one is ever able to admit "I am wrong, I did this selfishly and it's your property and you have the right to correct me".

The "mouthful of abuse" thing is just so bloody depressing.

And yes, I never did it again, ever.

Sometimes people educate you on what's right, or remind you that you're being a twat. I'm ok with that.

Surround the car with bird seed. They won't do it twice.

Ooof. I live in a small road with a primary school in it. The parents are dreadful - they park on drives, on the grass verges, double park etc. 🤷‍♀️

And, then, generally, they start arguing with each other - with them driving in opposite directions, and blocking one another - the school despair of them , but take the view there’s no answer to idiots. 🤷‍♀️

Could you ask the council to make the street into one of those school streets, which blocks traffic to non residents at school drop off and pick up

Our primary head used to come out and tell them off. Our secondary school is impassable at letting out time due to a handful of idiots who insist on parking and turning right by the entrance 1000 dc are trying to use. There have been dc hit by cars but still they do it.

A friend of mine lives opposite a primary school. He arrived home from work one day to find he could not get on his drive as a school Mum had parked on it, not just across it. He parked across his own drive and then went indoors. Mum knocked and asked him to move, he refused as he was going for a shower and a nap after work. Told her to come back at 8 that night and he would move his car and let her out. She never did it again!