To think driveway blockers are unreasonably disrespectful… (school parking rant)

[KcEliMa]

Firstly, I actually apologise in advance. I’m not necessarily on the correct thread, but this seemed the only choice for my topic.

I’m suspecting there will be some on the other side of my opinion who disagree/ argue against what I say (I am anticipating backlash - so I do beg for peeps to be kind please)

So! I’m one of those crazy, foolish people who live near a school who doesn’t have children attending said school.
Now, before people come at me for that (see, I already feel the need to defend and explain myself) when we moved here a few years ago, the school was minuscule. 20 pupils, if that, and hardly an issue at all. But then, a couple of years ago, the trust closed another local school and mixed the two together here, so we have a massive majority of children coming in from surrounding areas. The school have then expanded twice since with a crèche-type thing and a preschool.
I would guesstimate that at least 90% of the children are from further areas and that the school have easily quadrupled their intake. Plus, it’s very rural and there are zero public transport options.
For further context though, there is off-street parking available. A very large car park is available. It would literally take parents and children an extra 10, maybe 15 seconds to walk from said car park to the school gates.

Right, to my actual issue.
Parking!
Why do school parents believe it is their sacred right to park however and wherever they like?! I won’t get into how dangerous the road is being made by the absurd quality and levels of parking etc, but to my personal gripe - inconsiderate and disrespectful parking over driveways.

It’s a constant issue that no one wants to take responsibility for or deal with. There’s only around 12 houses outside the school but we’re all subservient to the parents who decide it’s perfectly reasonable to deny people access in and out of their properties.
What I’m completely and utterly baffled by further is, when you calmly and diplomatically try to reason/ ‘challenge’ these people (for want of a better word), they don’t own up to their inconsideration and move on, they want to stand and argue and get nasty.
I’ve given up to a degree, because it actually puts my family and home at risk just to ask people to move on.

BUT today I had one encounter that was completely baffling. I got called discriminatory names, told to STFU - and I didn’t even say a word. Yes, I walked to the end of my drive, I then stood inside my drive behind closed gates and just wanted to ask the person to move on - but the abuse I got! 😮 my husband is now annoyed with me because he thinks, with the calibre of person it was, they’ll want to play games now and repeatedly park outside and that we are at a level of vulnerability, with the people obviously knowing where we live but us not knowing them.

I guess I’m not really asking AIBU, I suppose my query is more Why Are These People So Unreasonable?!
And, is there anyone else out there in any kind of similar situation? I need people who understand the strain it puts on us who suffer! Please!

YANBU and nobody should be coming for you. You are totally right to be apoplectic and abusive fuckers who stand giving you shit need to get in the bin. I would park across my own drive every school run time just to confound them. Or obstruct it in some other way. Petty but at least they wouldn’t be doing it anymore.

YANBU and I say that as a parent who drives to school (it would be a 50 minute walk otherwise).

I had great respect recently for a homeowner who blocked the entire road as someone had blocked her drive so she literally stopped the car in the road and awaited them to return. The road was blocked all the way down a hill, parents were getting cross as they couldn't drive on and park themselves. The parent eventually came back and all the other drivers absolutely let rip at her for making everyone else late etc...... she got in and drove off very quickly. Give the homeowner her dues, no one has ever parked outside her house again! I loved the guts she had to do it, as she did take a lot of shit from other drivers.

If you have a dropped kerb it’s illegal to park there .. speak to your local council / PCSO, and ask them to send a parking warden round - a few visits from those, should reduce the issue

YANBU. But let's face it, we know why people do it - it's because of that anonymity you mention (you're not a neighbour of their own) and because they are banking on you not needing to get in or out in that small window of time. They don't really think they have a right to park there, they just risk it.

Ask the school to get the traffic wardens out at school run time. My kids primary did that a couple of times and it was the funniest thing to watch. Talk about explosions and vein poppings. I thought one lady was going to go into labour the way she went on at getting a ticket.

It did stop it though for a bit, hence the couple of times it happened. Entertaining though.

Our local council have started to close problem roads to not resident cars during drop off and pick uP times. Anpr cameras monitor it.

It’s very frustrating. We had this growing up. Mum would often not be able to get in the driveway as it was blocked. She would just park them in and ignore the knocks on the door to move her car. There were no mobile phones and it was a long walk down a windy road. She would make them wait an hour (two if it was a repeat offender) before moving her car.

Yanbu

no one has the right to park across your driveway

as for the verbal abuse - next time film it in you phone and report them to the police

I have a weird dropped kerb there is something about it that means people just LOVE parking over it.
5 years on...Parking enforcement is now saved on my phone.

Councils love the additional revenue.
This Saturday someone partially blocked my drive. I called parking enforcement before putting my dd down for her nap. Took her up, had a wee read two books and heard the guys pull up before i was done 🥳
The car was ticketed and they stood teeth sucking and chatting for a while.
I made a cup of tea and then the tow truck turned up to tow the fuckers 🤩

Tell parking enforcement its a daily occurance and can they come between x and y time. They will be there.

We used to have a garage that opened straight onto the road with no parking signs and a white bar across it, indicating no parking. We parked in the garage, which seems to be fairly unusual. I once opened the garage door straight into a parked car. It was an accident as I couldn't see the car from inside the garage. That was quite effective at teaching the car owner not to park there. It did a reasonable amount of damage. Whilst it was an accident, I wasn't in the least sorry, it was quite satisfying.

Do your gates open outwards? I'd swing them out with a "sorry, wasn't paying attention as it didn't occur to me that anyone would be stupid enough to park there".

I honestly wouldn't fret about it for the sake of 15 minutes twice a day and not even every day.

It would be nice if schools could take responsibility, arrange for turning circles on school grounds or similar Maybe suggest that.

I live a couple of hundred yards from a school and tbh, mostly, the parents are quite courteous about parking.

But there have been a couple of times that have annoyed me- one where the woman seemed utterly baffled that I wanted to get my car out of my driveway, using the dropped kerb that I paid to have done. She was only going to be a few minutes, she protested! I was being so unreasonable! She did eventually give in a moved her car- to a spot only twenty yards further down the road. Sheer laziness on her part.

Another one (admittedly not my driveway but it irked me nonetheless) parked across the dropped crossing kerb on the corner of the road, wedging the car into the gap between two others. She absolutely did not care that pram-pushers and wheelchair users would be unable to cross the road. Again, she was 'only going to be a few minutes'.

Some people are just lazy and rude. 'Twas ever thus.

Gah, I can’t work out how to edit my original post, but I’ve just realised I have been unreasonable to imply I believe all parents/ carers are unreasonable!
apologies if I’ve caused any offence, I know and appreciate it is a small minority of self-righteous, selfish ***!

Wowsers, I was really gearing myself up for an onslaught, but you’ve all been so understanding!

So, for further context -

• Parish Council aren’t interested in the residents; they serve the schools needs and wants only and complaints that have been made by several people regarding the parking have been instantly shut down with a blanket refusal to acknowledge or help.
• School do acknowledge the issue but waiver any and all responsibility, stating it’s a public highway and they have no control over individuals (I appreciate this is factually correct, but I always think, if the other way around and visitors of mine were disrupting the school, I should and would be held responsible for their behaviour, seems as it’s due to myself that they would be there - if that makes sense?!)
• Without the parish councils support, I can’t see the borough or county council stepping in for any amount of support either - restrictions and/ or monitoring would go a long way, not just for inconvenience but for safety too, but sadly I don’t think this is something that will ever happen.
• Yes, I do have a dropped kerb. In fact, let me give a story time - the first time I ever approached someone to request they move on, they threatened me and made comments that led me to call the police. When the police arrived, they told me there was nothing wrong with parking over a driveway. When I showed them a safety poster from their own constabulary that contradicted their information, they said ‘well, it may appear in the Highway Code somewhere, but it’ll just be advisory’. So, we also don’t really have support from authorities either; I feel like everyone just thinks it something that should just be tolerated and accepted 😔

I truly believe the people who do it know their wrong, and they become offensively defensive if questioned because they’re well aware of their inconsideration.
I’ve made so many adjustments to my home to try to not acknowledge what’s going on outside - we’ve planted hedging to block the view, we’ve installed blinds that I shut at around school run times so I don’t see what’s going on, we have driveways gates installed and signs on said gates requesting to ‘keep clear’ and ‘no parking’. So please, please don’t think I look for trouble when I approach anyone that does this - I’d really rather avoid it BUT at the same time I also don’t want people thinking it’s ok. There will be that one time I need to get out in an emergency (I do have two disabled children) and I’ll be impeded from accessing help.

There must be so many people who struggle with this, yet there’s nothing that groups us together for a bit of light morale/ support!😅

So, spending this evening dreading tomorrow, knowing it likely that todays abuser will probably want to continue the fun and games… joy…

Approach the school. Schools will often back up neighbours when it comes to parking issues and address it in newsletters, texts, emails etc. If it keeps happening, they can keep asking the parents to stop. Worth trying.

Cos people are idiots. Chaos at dd3s first primary.
We relocated. The primary school was actually built next to huge public car park which is empty much of the time. The local council have published that parents do not need to pay during drop off and pick up. People still block driveways cos they don't want to queue to get out of the car park!

Without the parish councils support, I can’t see the borough or county council stepping in

Look, parking is parking.... get the number for your local council parking enforcement team. Call them. Talk to them.

Alternatively, chanel your inner eliza and let it go...

You do realise that "schools' can't do fucking everything, surely? We're too busy toilet training your children...

This drives me bananas. Full disclosure I park for school drop off most days but never ever drive down the actual road the school is on. I always park 2 or 3 streets away and walk in and would never block a driveway.

The amount of people I see parking badly or dangerously to save themselves a 4 or 5 minute walk is ridiculous. What amuses me is often the mums that get out of these cars that they must park as humanly possible to the school gates as they can will be wearing gym wear. But heaven forbid they actually get some exercise and walk somewhere.

Your parish council sounds like a throwback. The council round here are always telling parents to walk to school. One street next to one of the schools is now completely permit only, no one else allowed to park on it at any time at all, even though everyone there has massive driveways. They've entirely bought into the narrative that journeys involving children and women are unnecessary.

What practical difficulties does it cause you OP?

I’ve made so many adjustments to my home to try to not acknowledge what’s going on outside - we’ve planted hedging to block the view, we’ve installed blinds that I shut at around school run times so I don’t see what’s going on, we have driveways gates installed and signs on said gates requesting to ‘keep clear’ and ‘no parking’. So please, please don’t think I look for trouble when I approach anyone that does this - I’d really rather avoid it BUT at the same time I also don’t want people thinking it’s ok. There will be that one time I need to get out in an emergency (I do have two disabled children) and I’ll be impeded from accessing help.

Look... I completely agree that they shouldn't do it. But the above does read as though you're not actually being inconvenienced by this at all, you're just objecting to it on principle and on the basis that one day it might inconvenience you.

Schools generate traffic. The current way they deal with this appears to be to spend expensive vasts amounts of time and energy telling traffic to stop being traffic. I suggest that time and energy would be better spent on supervising a simple turning drop-off/pick-up circle on school grounds. Most schools have space for this.

YANBU. But you could spend the rest of your life tied up in knots about it, it will damage your health and will make you very miserable. I always remember seeing this very elderly lady out on her drive shouting at an inconsiderate parent, she was out there every day. No intention of going out, just protecting her drive. Don't do this, please OP. You're already talking about suffering. Just don't suffer it. Breathe and allow it. Despite it going against everything you (and I) believe in.

I’ve made so many adjustments to my home to try to not acknowledge what’s going on outside - we’ve planted hedging to block the view, we’ve installed blinds that I shut at around school run times so I don’t see what’s going on, we have driveways gates installed and signs on said gates requesting to ‘keep clear’ and ‘no parking'.

This sounds like a massively disproportionate response to an extremely time-limited albeit regular annoyance.

Why are you getting so angry?

We live within sight of 3 schools and I'm always quite disappointed I've never had anyone park across the drive!

I nearly crashed into someone turning round in my drive the other day, I don't know who was more surprised, me or her.

OP if you have the time and energy (and skills) maybe you could rig up some kind of pressure pad on the road. If someone stops on it BOOM slime and confetti bomb all over their car. Would be amazing.

As you have a dropped curb do what LivingLaVidaBabyShower does with parking attendants.