Do your DC call their friend's parents Mr and Mrs (last name)?

[Emerald95]

My DC (9) was talking to his MIL on the phone about his afternoon at his friend's house and said 'Then Brian took us to McDonalds!'. MIL asked who Brian was, when my DC told MIL it is his friend's dad she said it was very odd to call him by his first name, not Mr (last name).

My DCs have have always called their friend's parents by their first name or '(friends name) mum' if they don't know their name yet.

Using Mr & Mrs (last name) seems very american to me and I could only imagin my children using that if their friend's parent was also a teacher at their school.

Is this a generational difference or maybe location dependent?

What do your DCs call their friend's parents? YABU - They use Mr and Mrs (last name)
YANBU - They use their first name

I live in the Southern US; it's definitely Mr./Ms. last name or more commonly "Ms. Jane" and "Mr. Brian." As children become young adults, they might be asked to use just the first name, but often still use the title.

I've never ever heard any child refer to their friends parents by their surname. It sounds like how people speak in American films and TV shows.
In primary school we also called the teachers by their first names. And some kids called their parents by their name as well, rather than mum/dad.
I guess she is just rather old fashioned. In my family/experience it would be considered way too formal.

I don't have kids but when I was a child (born 1976) I called my friends' parents either 'Auntie/Uncle Firstname' if the parents were also friends with mine and just 'Firstname' if they weren't friends with my mine. I never called anyone's mum and dad 'Mr/Mrs Surname'.

When I was little we lived in a cul-de-sac where everyone knew each other and the kids called all the adult neighbours by their first names, with the sole exception of two elderly widows who were always known as (eg) Mrs Smith and Mrs Jones. Weirdly, the elderly and elderly women with living husbands were known their first names. So we had Mrs Smith and Mrs Jones (widows) but also Bill (a widower) and Reg & Winnie and George & Vi (elderly couples).

@CarolinaInTheMorning I know a family in Virginia with 3 small boys who call me ma'am, and I just love it!

Yes, indeed. Ma'am and Sir are still alive and well in the Southern US.

But I'm 70+, my kids are in their 40s and for us and in my friendship group it wasn't like that?

So...

I was alway known as first name or Mrs B, a reference to the fact that I kept bee hives locally

It's first names for the more approachable parents and "Max's mum" or "Alana's dad" if they don't know your name or don't feel comfortable using it. A lot of "MiniCrispieCake's Mum, can MiniCrispieCake come round to play?".

I'm used to it now after years of being called "Mum" at baby groups, toddler classes and medical appointments. "Maybe if Mum could open her mouth wide and show MiniCrispieCake what to do?" But it does make me feel a little bit like an appendage to my child rather than an individual in my own right 😂.

My kids have always called friend's parents by their 1st name or x's mum/dad.

When I was growing up though I called everyone Mr or Mrs X,. I still can't get used to calling my parent's neighbours by their 1st names

But I’m in my 60s and my friends and I all called one another’s parents by their first names. Are you much older than me? I suspect it was more formal in my mother’s era. Although even then, there were 3 unmarried sisters who were similar age to my grandmother who lived next door to her. I was introduced to them by their first names and I only remember my mum ever calling them by their first names.

I'm quite sad to hear it's first names only now. Purely because I love the Kevin and Perry sketches and they just wouldn't be the same without Perry saying hello to Mr and Mrs Patterson formally.

Yes of course. It’s a mark of respect. I think it’s a class thing. I would always have called my friends parents Mr and Mrs X and my children do that now. Unless they knew them very very well in which case, if the parent has said it’s fine to call me by their first name, it would be fine to comply

Neither.

My DC are in their twenties now but their mates still call me “Luke’s Mum” even to my face 😂

My kids might use Mr/Ms Surname if they don't know their first name (or possibly the "[George's] mum/dad" if they don't know last name either). But would use first names by default if they know them. And my kids' friends do the same to me. I, like every parent I know, always say "call me [first name]" immediately as no one I know likes being called Mr/Ms Surname unless there's a reason for some degree of frostiness.

This was mainly the case growing up in the 80s once I was about 12yrs old too, though a few parents were still very much the Mr/Mrs. (never Ms!) type and Aunty X was the go-to way of calling an adult family friend when I was younger. While I noted parents who insisted on Mr/Mrs. and tried to avoid them (they tended to be somewhat officious and judgmental compared to others) I actually tended to call parents Mr./Ms. anyway as hard remembering their first names when I used them infrequently.

I’ve just remembered that as teenagers, my close friends and I called each other’s mums “Mum”.

I find they used to say "Excuse me Jack's mum" and then I'd say "please feel free to call me LaPalma" . They'd rarely call me Mrs Llama though. When I was a kid, we'd always say Mr X and Mrs X until they told you to use their first name which they generally did.

Mr and Mrs Patterson obviously! 🤣💕

I grew up in the 80s and it was definitely Mr/Mrs/title + surname unless or until invited to use their given names, which in most cases was as an older teen. My DS (16) were also brought up to use Mr/Mrs/title + surname until invited to use first names, and although I've never specified what DS' friends should call me, it's generally not been Floriat. In the past year or so when school friends come to stay I've tended to invite them to be less formal but it would catch me by surprise when a 13 or 14 year old did this.
A much younger pp mentioned advice about anyone more than 10 years older- for me, that's a good rule of thumb.
For me it's not so much about formality and more about recognising that adults are figures of authority and responsibility, not friends on equal terms. I believe it's reassuring to children to understand that the adults are in charge.

Would those who want to be addressed by Title Surname expect a child to ask when they dont know, given that one can't assume it's Mrs Childs Surname these days, and if so at what age do you think that kicks in?

I grew up in 60’s/70’s. My friends parents were Auntie Firstname and Uncle Firstname

Yh bc the British lack manners lol. I think it's a mark of respect towards ur elders, but I get the British culture isn't very much in favour of that.
Especially with this generation now, they are so rude, lack good manners, addressing ppl with respect will teach them a thing or two

Growing up I called most of my friend’s parents Mr and Mrs Surname, but my children call their friend’s parents either by their first name or X’s Mum/Dad. Think calling people by title and surname is quite old hat now. I’m a late 80’s baby.

I'm 46 and never called a friend's parent Mr or Mrs in the 80s. No one did. I find it so jarring on US tv shows when kids do that.

I'm in my 40s, growing up in the north in a fairly working class area it was usually mr/Mrs x or aunty/uncle y for close family friends

Ah that reminds me of when my DD was little and her little friends were constantly in my house (all 6 and under) and they didn't speak English but they copied my DD when she called me mummy, so I had all these small children calling me mummy and I loved it.