Do I want a dog?? Do you regret having one?

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I love dogs so much! But I am very aware that they are a huge commitment that is years and years long and I don’t want to commit to having one unless I am absolutely certain I can be a good dog owner.

I can and do work from home most of the time, although there are days when I go in to my office - it’s very flexible.
I love getting out for long walks.
I have a 7 year old daughter who is very calm and loves animals
I have a small garden
I like to go for breaks away when I can fit them in
Weekends can be changed to fit around having a dog but I don’t always go to dog friendly places with my DD
The hair shedding and potentially being woken up early doors would bother me
I earn well and could afford to pay a dog walker if needs be - would get pet insurance obviously and vet bills wouldn’t be an issue
I wouldn’t get a puppy. I prefer medium to large breeds - would like to get a rescue if I can but don’t know if it would be better to get a dog whose background I am aware of if that makes sense?

Or should I just get a cat?!!

Talk me out of it please!!

When I met DH over 40 years ago he had 2 dogs. Since then we have had 10 dogs 8 of which have been rescues.

We have always had the same breed which does not moult so no problems with hair everywhere.

Last year we had 2 dogs and as they were both getting on in age me and DH had a discussion that when they were no longer around we would not get another dog. This was mainly because we felt as we are now both late 60's/70's we thought it would be hard work with a puppy/young dog.

We lost one of the dogs last July and the other at Christmas. We miss them dreadfully. We both hate not having a dog. Yes we can go out without having to make sure it is not for more than 4 hours. Yes we can go away at short notice. We would rather have a dog. The house is empty without one.

Also we used to walk at least twice a day. Now unless we purposely go to somewhere like a forest, park etc we just don't really walk. We tried walking around our local area where we used to walk the dogs and it just felt weird and silly.

We dragged our heels for years over the commitment of getting a dog, but I have no regrets. We have a great dog walk/minder who also boards her for holidays and this means we are not tied to the house and dog. We are also able to leave her up to 4 hours on her own in the house, so we can get out and do stuff.

If you are in two minds about it, have you thought of signing up to Borrow My Doggy? We put our dog on there during the pandemic because we didn't want her getting too attached and it worked really well. The people who borrowed her (we worked with a few that we could introduce and meet first) were either dog lovers who were unable to have one where they lived and would just walk her, or people thinking about getting a dog who would have her for full days.

This sounds like it would suit you ad help you make up your mind about the dog commitment.

Oh god, this is absolute purgatory with a 3yo, because obviously the poor dog can't poo with a toddler jumping around near him (can't say I'm that keen on it myself), so it takes even longer! If DP is away, I bring the DCs on the morning walk, but get a neighbour to sit in my house after bedtime for the evening one. (Neighbours would probably also walk the dog, but I offer the 'sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine' option as the nicer job).

I love my dogs, however I have said that despite owning / having family dogs since I was a child the ones I have now will be my last.
The cost of owning a pet now is not to be taken lightly, insurance is quite expensive if you have to make a claim. Then there are obvious things like, beds, blankets, leads, collars, training, vaccinations, insurance, food, bowls, brushes all add up, and not a one off cost either.

Then there is a daily commitment - enjoying long walks is great - but going out every day no matter how busy you are or what the weather is, isn't always fun. You also have to plan days out, holidays and even going out to work around them being fed and walked. Dog's are good at fitting into a lifestyle, and could forgo a long walk every now and again, but ultimately they need some mental and physical stimulation daily. They can't be left for hours on end obviously, so there can be an added cost for kennels, pet sitters or dog walkers.

Dogs bring great joy, mine make me laugh daily and I go out every day for a long walk, rain or shine, but as I get older I'm ready to not have the expense or the commitment a dog needs.

I would research the breed you want extensively, visit (reputable) breeders, speak to them. See what dog could fit your lifestyle and if you really want to have the responsibility for the next 10/15 years, then go for it. Just make sure you research the breeder too - lot's of poor ones about who would give you no support should you need it.

Getting a dog rules your life, to be a responsible dog owner their needs must always come before your wants. It dictates where you can go, how long you can go out for etc. Also it’s a huge work commitment, it’s pretty full on. Walking when the weather is bad, cleaning up the garden daily especially when you have children. They’re like children, whereas a cat is self sufficient so I’d say no to a dog from your post.

Saying that, we’ve just had over a year without dogs as we lost our elderly pair and only have the cat at the moment and for me personally, it’s worth every sacrifice. My cat is great but my world feels too empty without them and in my case, I realise I’m happy to make those sacrifices so we can get more dogs this year. But you really do need to realise the limitations they put on your life, plus the work & expense including organising people to pop in if you’re out more than 4 hours etc.

You don't need a dog.

I lost my dog three weeks ago. He was 15. We had him from 10 weeks old so my DC grew up with him. As I look back at photos my dog is always in the background involved in whatever we were all doing. Yes it meant we usually holidayed in the UK because we preferred taking him with us, he loved paddling in the sea and helping my DC dig sandcastles. For the last couple of years of his life his health and mobility deteriorated and we were rarely able to leave him alone for long and once he became a bit incontinent, my DM was (understandably) less able to dog sit which meant we were really tied down. I also wfh and loved walking with him daily and I miss him so much it hurts. I wouldn’t have been without him but I absolutely can’t go through losing another dog so I wouldn’t have another.

Having a dog was great.
I’ll not get one again though.

We have 2 dogs, and I 100% regret getting them. The first is my husbands and daughters, and the second is my sons, both much longer for by them. I prefer cats, they're far less hassle. Dogs are so limiting and restrictive, and each breed brings its own issues. Though to be fair, our big breed has been no trouble at all, the little one who we've only had a year is a nightmare!

Although I have never owned a dog myself, most people I know have one. I used to date someone who brought his dog with him to my house and they would stay with me for days at a time. Only really the shedding was an issue although I don’t think he ever groomed her and I didn’t have the ‘tools’ in to clean up quickly after her - hand held hoover for example.

I think one aspect of owning a dog that I know I would enjoy would be the training. I like that sort of challenge, trying to figure things out and retrying over and over again until it ‘clicks’ and would find it very rewarding when that hard work pays off. I would also love a companion, I am a very affectionate person and have a lot of love to give so the loyalty aspect appeals to me too. And yes, of course I have idealised fantasises of us going for a walk to our local pub and having a best friend that comes with me nearly everywhere- including UK breaks.

Im trying to be a realist with it but I am also very romantic 😂

I love our dog but I do regret getting her and wish we would’ve just stuck to cats!

• No spontaneity - dog sitters need to be booked months (even up to a year!) in advance. Last minute trips are a thing of the past.
• My house is constantly messy - hair, muddy paws and toys/chews everywhere. No matter how much I clean and tiny within a day or two it’s a dump again. I miss my nice garden, all of the grass has been ruined by DDog toileting on it.
• Walks can feel like such a chore - lovely on a nice day and we enjoy great trips to the beach, forest etc but in the middle of winter when it’s dark at 4pm with wind and rain pelting down it’s absolutely miserable.
• I just can’t relax. Dogs are demanding and she always wants/needs something. No weekend lie ins as she’ll wake me up to go to the toilet at 6/7am. If I’m out it feels like I’m on a timer to get home again. The incessant barking if someone dares to come to the front door (yes we’ve worked with a trainer to no avail!). Behaviour issues that even 2 years down the line are a work in progress. We can only dream of the lovely pub lunches that you describe! She’s just too disruptive and wants to greet everybody.
• Cost - breeder fee, vet bills, insurance, walker/sitter, training, food, accessories, fuel to drive to walking destinations all mounts up more than you think.

I have two largeish dogs and have never ever regretted it for a second. They have made my life feel so much better in every way.

Honestly, cats are so much easier and are underrated. People say they're not affectionate and loving, but that's nonsense, in my opinion. Every single cay I've had has been sooo loving. My current cat is a little darling. Follows me around like a puppy, jumps on my lap whenever I sit down. If I go out, he waits for me by the front door.

Just remember that the idea you have in your head, the dog doesn’t 😉. I wanted a dog I could take to a pub or cafe. But neither of mine settle well, so we don’t try now.

And in regards to shedding, even ones that don’t shed as much still create dust. I have friends who have got a cockerpoo because it doesn’t shed hair, it totally does. So if the hair is an issue just be aware that despite the breed, there is a possibility of hair, maybe less but there all the same.

The thing is most people who have dogs love them dearly and are not going to say they wish they didn’t have them.

Dogs are a big tie and a lot of work, to train to exercise and to clean up after. They pay you back in spades but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still hard work.

Plus they have minds of their own and don’t necessarily turn out as you might expect.

my dog pissed on our sheepskin rug overnight.
I love but she's an asshole.
Would I get another one?
Perhaps not.
Although the love you have with a dog is completely amazing.

I foster occasionally for the breed specific rescue that both my late dogs were. It was fostering the last one this autumn that made me realise how much I needed to get new dogs this year. Have you thought about fostering for a dog charity? Many need this and it’s not 100% commitment for the next 14 years or so. Plus our rescue offers fosters to their foster parents first when they’re ready to be rehomed. Our rescue will only use foster homes with this breed specific experience but many others will consider any with a suitable home and lifestyle.

I never wanted a dog, always been a cat person. My exH got a dog, then another one, and I ended up with most of the work! When we split up I left with the two dogs. Best thing I got from the marriage. They were amazing for my well being and get me and my daughter out and about. I will never regret it and while they cause more worry than my cat, they give back in a very different way.

I love my dog but like others I won't be getting another for a very long time.

The expense. Even though he is insured the amounts under the excess add up. Boarding costs a lot.

He is a tie. Spontaneity doesn't happen anymore.

The mess. I have had to shampoo him three times in the last week as he decided to roll in a rotten dead animal (different walks so not the same one)

This. One of our cats is genuinely the most affectionate, loyal and loving boy I’ve ever met. Causes me far less trouble than the golden retriever!!

I am very sorry for your loss. I feel my husband and I are going to be the same when our old girl goes across the bridge. She is very much adored and now nearly 14 and aging. She costs us about £800 a month (which is not so much an issue) but we are loath to leave her for any great lengths of time. We have not been on holiday together for the last 5 years or so and weekends are spent being a tag team to do things so that she is not left alone too long. We worry about her so much as she is virtually blind, mostly deaf and a bit wobbly. Whilst I know we will be absolutely devastated there is definitely something about not wanting to get another and have some freedom.

Something helped for us when we were deciding was borrowing friend's dogs for a day or two.

Also waiting until the kids were a bit older (8+) so they could do things like let her out to go to the loo, help feed her etc, also old enough to not have too many toys on the floor that the dog would grab.

My parents are recently retired as well and my Dad especially just dotes on her which has helped, as he's always keen to pop over to see her (aka spoil her rotten, take her to the pub, and spend the rest if the day on the sofa cuddling her) 😅

I've had at least one dog all my adult life and absolutely adored them all, I'd never want to be without one. In my experience:

Small dogs are way easier - I resisted for years as I love bigger dogs, but actually it makes a huge difference in terms of mess, esp in a small house.

Puppies are wonderful but bloody hard work. Rescues are also wonderful but can also be bloody hard work for different reasons. Either way, put the work in on training and understanding, and you reap the benefits for ever.

I'm not a fan of cats, but inherited an elderly one when my dh moved in. Omg. The fur everywhere, the endless mess/smell/litter tray issues/damage to furniture...plenty are much easier, I know. I was of course very kind to her (she has since passed away) but I absolutely hated living with a cat and said never again since well before they moved in. None of my dogs have ever caused anywhere near that amount of hassle.

Having a 7 year old may be an issue with some rescues, the ones I tried before getting a puppy specified no children under 10, though that was my previous dog, which I got in 2007.

Our latest dog, we again bought a puppy, I didn't want a rescue dog around the grandchildren. We have a cocker spaniel, high energy, needs loads of exercise (which she gets), was very hard work and not much sleep for the first 6 months, and she loves water and mud so my house is hard to keep clean, wouldn't change it though. Wonderful dog.

I’m sorry but you sound like a no. We were ‘ah would kinda love a dog’ and while he is a member of the family and my right arm I will never get a dog again. No lie ins, can never just randomly go somewhere or visit for more than a short few hours, a lot of my son’s friends don’t like dogs so he has to be in the kitchen when they’re in the garden or out when they’re in. He’s an escape artist and has dug under fencing and broken a gate. We don’t go on days out or hikes any more without the dog so can’t just stop off and eat etc. I do honestly honestly adore him, but we definitely aren’t the dog people we thought we were!