PE teacher at dds school.

[Chickencuddle]

DD is in first year of high school. Last winter she had pneumonia quite badly and is still recovering. We are still having doctors visits and she's still on an inhaler (no previous asthma) She gets out of breath quicker than she used to and hasn't been able to do much in the way of physical exercise other than walking so has lost some of her fitness.
I wrote about it on her medical form and at start of year sent a note in explaining to PE staff.
Since then she has had a throat infection and chest infection and each time she has these they tend to hit her hard. So she had a few weeks with notes for PE
The PE teacher has been really unsupportive over it and a bit mean imo. She rolled her eyes first time it happened.second time she made her walk outside while others who were off PE that day got to stay inside. She also wouldn't allow her to go to the toilet during the hour and a half class and dd came home in tears saying teacher had been mean and she'd been bursting for the toilet and not allowed to go.
I phoned in and spoke to head of year who spoke to dd and said if any teacher says she can't go to tell them she has authority from head of year. That was OK.
Since then she has been off PE once with same thing just recovering from chest thing and PE teacher shouted at her and said if she's off one more time she will get a behaviour point.
Today I sent her in with a note saying that dd was going to try her best in PE but still struggling with her chest and could they allow her breaks when needed.
She said teacher rolled her eyes and muttered "same old." Then was nudging other teachers and she felt like they were talking about her.

I'm annoyed tbh. This is a child of 11 who had a terrible time last year with this. It took months to be even well enough to go for a walk and she's still struggling. She doesn't enjoy this. She hates it. And they are just making her feel worse. She has been off PE this year probably 4 times in total. But was off school once sick too. So missed 5 lessons.
Aibu?

You need to have a meeting with the Head of Year. Is this PE teacher actually aware that your daughter has been extremely unwell? Or is this teacher seeing all these individual incidents, and thinking you're an over protective parent?! I ask because communication in schools is not always great between staff. You'd think it would be, but sadly not always. Your daughter shouldn't be made to feel she's a fraud, and skiving off.

You don’t need to be confrontational, you just need to advocate for your child. Arrange an in person meeting with the head of year and PE teacher and your DD, show your DD you’re there to support her.

Can anyone help me with what to say. Maybe confrontation isn't the right word. Maybe just conversations in general. Lol I can stutter and forget what I want to say etc.

No wonder the numbers of girls choosing to take part in sports are so low. A PE teacher bullying an 11 year old who has been very poorly with pneumonia and repeated chest infections. That's really poor. I hope you can arrange that meeting.

Email and request a meeting with the PE teacher and head of year.

You don't need to go in all guns blazing. I'd say that you feel some clarification is needed regarding your daughter's medical condition and how her health impacts on her ability to do PE. The comment saying she will have a behaviour point if she misses PE again is enough on its own to warrant a meeting.

The PE teacher needs to know you're aware of what's going on and not prepared to just let it go. There may be children regularly missing PE who perhaps could take part. After what your daughter has been through, she isn't one of them and the PE teacher needs to know that. Explaining it to him should hopefully be enough.

Thanks so much this is so helpful. It's actually a woman. She said the male teacher is actually nice. But he mainly takes the boys.

It's time to demand a face to face with that teacher. They clearly need verbally putting on their arse.

A child who is suffering from decreased lung capacity in the aftermath of pneumonia is not a 'same old' situation.

I'd be paying the doctor to write a note of guidance for school and telling the PE nob head where to shove it.

@Chickencuddle That is awful behaviour from the teacher. Look at it another way. If this was how you treated your daughter, not allowing her to go to the toilet when she needed, ignoring her medical needs, actively treating her disparagingly, you would be reported for safeguarding concerns at home. What makes this teacher think that’s ok in her setting to do this. I’d create hell and take this much further than the school head.

I would ask to have a meeting with the head of PE, not the head of year as this is a PE matter. It would definitely be worth getting a note from the doctors.

As for no need for confrontation. I disagree. Nobody should treat your child like that. I’m not a ranty woman and have never had to go to school with a complaint and my kids are older now but really think this is awful and why should we not actively stand up against awful individuals for our children. I absolutely would.

What a bitch! Would hate to think how she is with her own kids. I know kids can take the piss when it comes to P.E but surely if the head of year and head teacher are aware your daughter was unwell with pneumonia then they would have her back with the P.E teacher. Mt daughters 11 and if this happened to her there would be no nice written notes I'd be straight in asking her what her issue is. X

Just to say op, it’s ok to be the “neurotic mum” if you need to be. Bullying and ignoring a child’s health concerns are both unacceptable. You aren’t unreasonable in raising these issues, if that makes a teacher you don’t know or care about roll their eyes, let them. The only person who matters when it comes to your parenting and school involvement is your child x

Should I mention the eye roll and same old comments etc or not

I’m sure there are some lively PE teachers, but ime a sizeable number are arseholes. It is such a shame as it puts a lot of DC off sport and exercise for life.

The Pastoral Lead needs to be included, it's well-being, not academic progress..

My understanding is that exercise is ot not advised following viral illness.

Yes, all the teachers at my school in the 1980s were lovely apart from the PE teacher who was a bully.

I don't know why they are like that.

I really wouldn't.

I would just say that your daughter feels really bad that she can't do pe and that she feels that the teacher is angry with her.

Probably not unless the PE teacher gets huffy in the meeting. Then she's showing her true colours. It might come across as being petty.
Really it's her whole attitude in general that's important, particularly the bullying.

Im not sure re going to the toilet if the kids participating presumably cant go either?

Pe teachers do seem ridiculously strict.

At dc school one kid was injured anyway so couldnt do pe. But cant take earrings out as they never healed a year on - got sent to behaviour room! Like how did it matter as not doing the sport!

Is your kid reacting possibly to an allergy (cat/dog/smoking?)
I find my chest clearer as i use olbas oil on a tussue in room overnight when ill. Broncostop also helps with phlegm.
Im surprised she hasnt recovered has it been 12months?

To be honest I’d be down there and demanding to talk to this teacher, but I absolutely have a chip on my shoulder about PE teachers since mine terrorised me because I was fat. A lot of them seem to be bullies.

This - but ask to see the Head.

Whilst some children will spin events to suit their needs I think you need to get to the bottom of this. Maybe initially in a questioning manner in your meeting.

Take in notes, list of dates, events, visits to doctors etc so that you are not over come by the situation or forget details.

You are unlikely to see the PE teacher in question - not at an initial meeting anyway. That may come later. Most Heads will, after your meeting, investigate themselves.

All the best.

At most recent doctors appointment dpctor said can take up to two years and even then there can be a weakness in the lungs. She's not unwell. But her chest still often hurts and it tight. Doctor said she's not getting a full breath and it's causing muscle strain. Also checked lung capacity and she said there's still blockages but that it can take time for the debris to clear completely. She's so so so much better than she was but she was very sick (don't get me started on taking her begging doctors to do something 3 times and the told me her chest was clear. Gave up and went to A and E where they told me her oxygen was 91% and she had pneumonia...but that's another story)
It's not uncommon for it to take a long time to get better after pneumonia and not uncommon for it to have a lasting effect. But at the moment still hoping she will be able to recover more with rest when needed and inhalers etc. Seeing doctor again in 2 months to see if she's improved.

Bloody hell. It's only PE too.
Def ask for a meeting with Head of Year AND the PE teacher so she can understand the effect of her unkind behaviour. Your poor daughter.

Yes. You're probably not the first parent to complain about the attitude of that PE teacher either!

Just be yourself and don't be too preoccupied with what you need to say. I expected all just come tumbling out while you are there the or HoY will be meeting with a parent not the CEO of somewhere just be yourself and it will all be fine