Got to the point of just thinking what's the point anymore? Life is unaffordable.

[user1630101]

Just as the title says really. Been in a financial shit show for the past god knows how long. Every time we think we're getting on top of things something else crops up and we end up right back where we started. Both spend all hours working but end up not being able to go out or do anything with the dc ever because we have no money left after bills and debts. Got to the point the last few weeks I can barely be bothered to get out of bed most mornings because I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Not even looking for advice as we've tried everything, on debt management plans etc but nothing is working and nothing is getting easier. Just needed to say it out loud really because DH moans about it but won't actually look at the finances or go through it with me as it stresses him too much. Just needed to moan.

God I'm so sorry. Cannot imagine what you're going through

It's so hard at the moment, every time there is light at the end of the tunnel the utilities go up. The latest is finding out council tax is going up by 5% but the council is REDUCING its services! It's already £300 a month!

I am so fortunate to have a good income, I honestly don't know how people on incomes that are low, but too high for benefit help are managing.

By the way, if you rent from a housing association see what help they offer. I work for a HA and we have a support team who can do food, and utility vouchers, check benefits are maximised, check energy usage is correct etc. We pay about £1 million of support a year out to our customers, so do speak up if you're struggling.

I'm sorry to read this.

I don't wish for it to pay out, my point is that I have to be critically unwell or die for my family to be financially stable and it's heartbreaking. But it's true.

How is that even fair in this day and age. I hope you are OK 🥺

I'm sorry that you feel so hopeless about this. I think you may benefit from changing your mindset though.

Your life insurance paying out is not the only way for your family to be financially stable. It's one way but not the only way. Probably feels like the easiest way currently but it's not the only way.

Also, don't expect life to be fair. It never has been and never will be. Try not to focus on the unfairness of it rather than looking for practical solutions.

Thank you ❤️ I do feel so hopeless atm. But because of my low mood I don't have the brain space or energy to do literally anything. Getting out of bed alone is a task and i justw ant to sit and drink brews all day. Then feel worse.

I'm not the worse off by far, I have a lovely house, a lovely partner, 2 beautiful children, we are all healthy and happy... but the money side of things, life would be so much easier and less stressful if we had more or at least paid the mortgage off. Just remortgaging now and had to extend to retirement age just to afforit the monthly payments.

I'm not a risk taker and I've held my partner back from taking risks as I'm scared of losing everything. I am a worrier and I let things get me down very easily.. I've been a nightmare this week during half term and feel for my young girl who's had to put up with me being miserable and stressed and honestly, so moody. She has felt it too 😔 Not being able to afford to take her anywhere and the weather has been shit so cant even go for a walk or park or even in garden. I've been snappy and hot headed to her and easily irritable... then I beat myself up for being such a shit mum to her.. agggghhhh!!

I hate being in the UK alone and I feel trapped since brexit, don't know how to get out. I'd love to come up with something to make life easier, work smarter not harder, make good money etc. Get a job online that gives me the oppotunity to move elsewhere in the world and give us a better life overall. Win the lottery. You know that sort of stuff but it seems impossible

Very sorry to hear that.

I try not to think about it as it leads me into a spiral of depression. The only saving grace is that I don't have any children so only have myself to support.

Sending hugs to everyone else who is suffering x

Thank you for the comments. And sorry to those that are in the same situation or worse.
@CottonCandyCrank I know exactly how you feel. I keep thinking what can we do to just make things easier but there's nothing apart from winning the bloody lottery! I keep saying to my DH I wish we could just sell the house and use the bit of money in it to travel with the kids or do something other than this same old boring day to day life we keep having to do but it's a no go because then we would be stuck once the money was gone!
@MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel thank you for the suggestions. Unfortunately we are in that bracket of earning too much for benefits but not enough to actually live properly!

@westisbest1982 it's really not as simple as just "increase your household income". My DH works long hours and is away from Sunday night to Friday night and my DC are still young (both under 7) so there is no option for either of us to increase our hours or our pay.

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Many are I think. It’s so hard working and not having money left over to enjoy life. Could you look at the entitled to calculator and see if you are entitled to any benefits? Or maybe drop some hours so you don’t have to work as much and that could mean you are under the threshold and can get some UC top up. It might help and always worth a check. I get it’s exhausting and hard working sitting down and looking at finances etc but the entitled to is easy to access and might be an easy win. Good luck. You are not alone.

Central govt refused to increase council funding, inflation generally plus the soaring costs of social care in particular are meaning councils have no choice. I know it is rotten though

@CottonCandyCrank have you seen your GP about your low mood? It seems like that's the real issue at the moment. If you can get some help for that you might be able to think more clearly about practical solutions.

Do you know what's even more depressing? Is having stage 4 cancer and this being actually being a reality at some point. Get a grip!

I am sorry, very sorry , that you are going through what you are going through, but it doesn't mean the op shouldn't be able to complain about life being grindingly tough. Depression can be situational and op may well be depressed. I thought we had got better at understanding mental health.

@BeGoldHedgehog you too.
It's not until you don't know what the future holds and you have to face the actually reality you aren't going to be here forever. When you realise you might not get to see your kids go to college or uni or get married or meet your grandchildren.
Being skint is shit but I can assure you there's a lot worse!

@madamweb yes I totally agree money problems can make you depressed.
But wishing your life insurance would pay out is a horrible thing to say, end off!

There are so many posts about financial struggles recently. OP you say you want to go out for a meal, yes that would be lovely, but families have been making choices about affording this for decades! We NEVER ate out when I was growing up (80s/90s) because we couldn’t afford to. You said yourself, you’ve been at home, the kids are fed, you’ve done some low cost things. Count your blessings. Treasure the free trips to the park, enjoy eating together (at home) with the family, play a board game, watch TV together. We’d all like to be able to afford ‘more’ for the work we put in but sometimes you just can’t.

Very sorry to hear about the posters who have had life insurance payouts due to terminal illness. That's obviously awful and I am genuinely sorry to you and your families.

However, it's also not a race to the bottom and many people are really struggling with the idea of working flat out, raising families and managing bills while still finding finances tough. It can feel relentless.

My husband and I have stable public sector jobs but also struggling. Mortgage astronomical, our council just announced a 10% rise (whilst services are cut), childcare costs, general bills etc.

Currently eating an oatcake only using half my mouth as I've avoided the inevitable dental work I need because it will be 100s of pounds. No hope of an nhs dentist of course.

YANBU op, things are so tight for so many just now!

No not a race to the bottom! And have a moan just don't wish for your life insurance to pay out. Because it's a really shitty selfish thing to say. I think my kids would rather I was around.

Why hasn't the DMP worked? If you have 2 children, have a salary/income which means that you are not entitled to any benefits - not even a UC top-up, have a mortgage, and a DMP which hasn't helped - that doesn't sound right. Unless your debts are exceptionally high, in which case bankruptcy might be the only answer.

I agree and I apologise for my comment on life insurance.

If you have high unsecured debt and your credit is otherwise screwed, stop paying, go into default then do a self managed plan of a few quid a month. Look for sourcrates on mse debt forum - he or she really knows everything about it.

When I was very depressed I was suicidal. I wasn't suicidal because I was a horrible person I was suicidal because that is what depression and trauma didn't to me. Its important to be mindful that mental health problems can be very real and very crippling.

No, you dont get to say that. You just dont. This isn't how you talk to people who are potentially deeply depressed.

I am very sorry to those who are facing a terminal diagnosis but it's just not ok to expect everyone else to be constantly cheery.

It is worth trying places like turn2us if you are really struggling. They have a grant search on there and lots of charities that may be able to help with things like dental costs.

Also those who are struggling mentally please never forget to speak to the Samaritans or similar if you are feeling stuck. You won't be met with judgement there.

That must be hard and I'm sorry your going through that... But telling me to "get a grip" is rude! Making me feel like my feeling of unworthiness, uselessness and the struggles im going through mentally are invalid is wrong.

I wanted to let the OP know that she isn't alone.

It is absolutely no wonder people don't speak out and just decide to quietly end their lives alone because they are worried about speaking out about feeling depressed or are struggling, when people like you comment unnecessary things like get a grip! You don't think I've tried to get in control of my mental state and told myself that exact phase... like its so easy to just feel ok when your head disagrees.

This is what's wrong in the world.