Generational wealth differences

[KeenGreen]

My first AIBU so let’s see what I’m in for!

First to make clear none of the problems now are the fault of previous generations. It is not a blame game!!

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

I am 38 I have worked since I was 16, lived independently since 17. Put myself through university all the way through to PhD. My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.
I work in a university and earn just under £50K before tax so our household income is probably about £65K not the lowest by any stretch but enough for us to struggle to balance costs. We claim child benefit but otherwise no extra help.
Husband only works term time of course, but that means he’s around for our child during holidays.

We have one DC age 5, and can’t afford any more.
Our closest family lives over 2 hours away, so we have no family support with childcare or help if there is a sick day or anything.

We have a mortgaged small semi detached 1930s house with 3 bedrooms, It needs a lot of work but we haven’t been able to do much because of time and money. Current mortgage fix ends in 2026 and I expect our mortgage repayments to go up by about 50% extra £300 a month.

We pay off student loans and my pension contributions are also high.
I took only 6 months maternity leave because I couldn’t afford to go to half pay for long and not into no pay at all.

My husband had virtually nothing in his workplace pension because of low earnings.
Mine is keep being devalued because of sector changes and it’s definitely not the best pension in education. (Teachers pensions are better).
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to try and live off my workplace pension alone and I would have to go all the way up to retirement age which I can’t imagine myself doing in a stressful job.

Retirement age for us is currently 68, that means we have 30 more years.
But with the way things are going I have no hope that there will be a state pension at all for us, or the age will be pushed even higher, so will probably be dead! Despite the fact I will have been paying in with tax national insurance for 50 plus years by that point.

I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector. Enjoy our jobs for the most part and find them fulfilling albeit stressful at times!

Like I said not about blaming previous generations for the picture we are in, but I don’t like the rhetoric of ‘well interest rates went up to 15% in my day’ etc when house prices were so much lower in proportion to wages and the cost of living right now and inflation over the last 10 years shows wages haven’t increased in line with this.

ps I know we are not the most hard done by! But still feel the pinch and we certain don’t live an extravagant lifestyle!

How do you know how my life has truned out?

We rented a TV when we first got married because we couldn't afford to buy one. We paid for it weekly.
Unthinkable now

It doesn’t have to be a competition. The 80s were very hard for many young families - my own dad was close to a nervous breakdown over paying the mortgage, and his job was constantly under threat of redundancy. Things generally got better for that boomer generation, eg pensions, but they didn’t know that would be the case in the 80s.

I saw something on Facebook recently, it was some research in the late 1800s or early 1900s documenting the poor people’s lives in rural England. It listed what one family ate every meal for a week - the mother and children were mostly living off bread and scrapings (not even butter, the butter scraped off), the dad got most of the small amount of meat or veg. They were in debt because the dad had had an injury and hadn’t been able to work for a while, one of the children hadn’t been to school that week as they had no shoes, absolute poverty. But they were earning 13 shillings a week and the rent was 1 shilling a week - and all the Facebook comments were about how they had it so easy with such low rent and the mum didn’t work. Completely ignoring the fact they would have been living in a something close to a hovel and couldn’t afford to eat. It’s like people can’t look past their own struggles to understand that the financial pressures in the past were different.

I can tell.

Nowadays you buy your TV and rent the home instead 🤷🏼‍♀️

But I thought you all lived within your means and scrimped and saved?

And how is that ??LOL

Yes we did. Which is why we rented a TV and saved towards a home.

You may be right @ploppydoppy . There always was a strong contingent that refused to listen and not grasp that their actions have resulted in a completely changed culture. It is as much of a difference as between the Victorian period and the post-war period. They are also getting old, closing in their social groups and just metaphorically gathering round the cosy fire and shutting the night out.

I don’t really know how to get through because facts and reason don’t work when people simply don’t want to hear.

What @SneakyLilNameChange said resonated, because back 20 years ago when I was the young generation working next to boomers - many of whom could take early retirement in their 50s, it’s laughable isn’t it - ‘working mum’ was very much a phrase, as something admirable, difficult and hard.

Now that is normal. In fact 2 full time working wages are not enough.

When I was young I knew I could not afford to live in London, coming from a poor northern/ north midlander working class background. Now I can’t afford to live anywhere south of Derby and I would have to pick a shit area there. What can you say to get through to those who simply don’t want hear that the world has changed?!?

Lol. Ok

Exactly this. ^ My DH's skills lie in I.T. and yet he still managed to plaster our kitchen wall several years ago, and make a good job of it. It's still sound, and easily as good as if a 'professional' had done it. For much bigger jobs you are better using a professional, but he did really well! He did it himself because the tradies kept letting us down/not turning up. FIVE of them let us down!

But yeah, some things can be done without a 'professional.' YouTube is your friend.

We didn't get a mortgage from the bank of England,it was Leeds building society and then a small local one in the Surrey town where we lived. It went from 12-16%in 18 months. I worked ft nights in a general hospital, evenings in a nursing home, agency and a cleaning job,you couldn't add multiple years to the mortgage then.

We rented a TV when we first got married because we couldn't afford to buy one.

That's no different to a subscription to Netflix though? You can buy a TV for £110 now on Argos because technology has progressed. It's not a strange concept, we also have seat belts now, double glazing, electric cars, internet, email. Why do people find it odd that a society would progress?

We had a b+w telly in the 70s. We also got a computer and a microwave in the 80s. Yes consumer goods were proportionately more expensive. Our house cost 10k in 1977….thats about 58k in todays money. 4 bed house in a city. We were not on the breadline but things were tight most of the time. Normal jobs. My parents could still afford to feed and clothe 6 kids, with 1 car and 1 uk holiday a year.
This would be so so far from what a Millenial couple would be able to afford now in equivalent salaries. Just pie in the sky unaffordable.

I very much agree with this sentiment but isn’t intergenerational wealth the passing of wealth between generations? I think that plays a huge part in determining who the poor and rich people are in each generation.

OP - hard work has never equated to wealth, if it did cleaners, farmers, etc would be minted. Wealth generation is a combination of savvy choices and luck which is helped by working hard and I think it’s always been like that, with each generation having their own struggles which impact some more than others.

It is widely known that becoming a teacher or nurse is not a path to wealth. Whether it is a calling or not, the exceptions you have mentioned are few. The opportunities are there for those who are money minded or driven to higher positions in the public domain but literally nobody advises students to pursue teaching or nursing if they wish to be wealthy. In fact the advise is the opposite.

The OP and her husband do have the opportunity to pursue another more lucrative path in their field if they choose to in order to accumulate more wealth.

No idea what your point is.

I mean today a TV license can cost more than a new TV, that was not true in the past.

I think when you compare generations you do need to look at how much things have changed for women. I’m gen X, my boomer dm was earning more than my df until I was born and there were no childcare options, so she had to give up work and worked various rubbish poorly paid part time jobs until we were older when she retrained to be a teacher, when my parents bought their first house it was irrelevant that she earned more as women weren’t able to get mortgages. My life has definitely been easier than hers was.

My grandmother worked a morning job before my grandfather went to work and then did an evening shift after he got home. She trained as a nurse, but was fired when they found out she was married, you couldn’t have a profession and be married in possession of a vagina in the 1950s.

My great grandmother had no access to contraception and had 6 children in a back to back house. No fridge, no central heating, no washing machine.

Undoubtedly we have seen an increase in inequality since the late 20th century and living standards for lots of people have declined in the last 20 years. But for women I do think my generation has more opportunity than those before me.

I don’t really know how to get through because facts and reason don’t work when people simply don’t want to hear.

True but that is depressing.

What can you say to get through to those who simply don’t want hear that the world has changed?!?

Nothing I guess

Yes it's much more difficult for your generation. I'm 52 and have a shitty life too (autism and chronic fatigue) but I have a far less shitty life because I'm still living on the huge amount of equity that I received when my marital home was sold sixteen years ago (obviously I've done things to make the money last). I'm from the last generation to have benefitted. Also benefitted hugely from being on tax credits rather than UC.

I'm not sure why so many people your age insist that things are fine and you should just pull yourselves up by the bootstraps.

Twenty years ago was 2005 - it was already pretty normal to be a working mum. I was already a parent then and knew very few SAHMs - most worked part time at least.

True
But be careful because goady LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway will be along and tell you, you are bitter

It's lovely that he does a job he enjoys and you support him in that but there is a price to pay. I'm a boomer and I've done jobs I hated, jobs that scared me but I made the choice that we needed the money. You and your husband have made your choice and that has consequences.

If he has a degree and experience with children could he do some tutoring, a few hours on a Saturday morning would make a huge difference.

My parents are the complete opposite, no help with buying a house or anything really since the day I moved out. How lovely that you're helping your children My in laws on the other hand offered help in the past but we never accepted as they didn't have much and needed every penny for themselves. My parents are rather well off but very focused on keeping everything they can for when they need care. Dm told me not to expect much inheritance wise as she wants a top care home when she needs one! That is entirely her right of course, just the attitude makes me a bit sad (not the money iyswim)