Generational wealth differences

[KeenGreen]

My first AIBU so let’s see what I’m in for!

First to make clear none of the problems now are the fault of previous generations. It is not a blame game!!

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

I am 38 I have worked since I was 16, lived independently since 17. Put myself through university all the way through to PhD. My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.
I work in a university and earn just under £50K before tax so our household income is probably about £65K not the lowest by any stretch but enough for us to struggle to balance costs. We claim child benefit but otherwise no extra help.
Husband only works term time of course, but that means he’s around for our child during holidays.

We have one DC age 5, and can’t afford any more.
Our closest family lives over 2 hours away, so we have no family support with childcare or help if there is a sick day or anything.

We have a mortgaged small semi detached 1930s house with 3 bedrooms, It needs a lot of work but we haven’t been able to do much because of time and money. Current mortgage fix ends in 2026 and I expect our mortgage repayments to go up by about 50% extra £300 a month.

We pay off student loans and my pension contributions are also high.
I took only 6 months maternity leave because I couldn’t afford to go to half pay for long and not into no pay at all.

My husband had virtually nothing in his workplace pension because of low earnings.
Mine is keep being devalued because of sector changes and it’s definitely not the best pension in education. (Teachers pensions are better).
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to try and live off my workplace pension alone and I would have to go all the way up to retirement age which I can’t imagine myself doing in a stressful job.

Retirement age for us is currently 68, that means we have 30 more years.
But with the way things are going I have no hope that there will be a state pension at all for us, or the age will be pushed even higher, so will probably be dead! Despite the fact I will have been paying in with tax national insurance for 50 plus years by that point.

I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector. Enjoy our jobs for the most part and find them fulfilling albeit stressful at times!

Like I said not about blaming previous generations for the picture we are in, but I don’t like the rhetoric of ‘well interest rates went up to 15% in my day’ etc when house prices were so much lower in proportion to wages and the cost of living right now and inflation over the last 10 years shows wages haven’t increased in line with this.

ps I know we are not the most hard done by! But still feel the pinch and we certain don’t live an extravagant lifestyle!

Empathy for someone moaning about being hard done by when the current generation retirement is 68 now and will probably keep climbing. Read the room.

many of us older people didn’t even get chance of higher education
Higher and further education were much more affordable and accessible pre 1990s - if you wanted to acquire a skill or pursue a degree/professional qualification you could study at night school or OU and you wouldn't be paying off the cost for the next 20 years. Making everything a university and requiring everyone to have - and pay through the nose for - a dumbed- down degree has hindered not helped social mobility.

This. ^ I don't know why you are classing yourself as part of 'the young' @KeenGreen You're nearly in your 40s! And your DH being on £15,000 a year at that age is pretty outrageous. Why on earth is he not even attempting to earn more money? I couldn't be with a man who was happy to be earning so little, nearly 30 years before retirement age.

And if he is part time (which he must be with this low wage) why has he not been doing the work in the house that you need doing? Your one child is 5, so will be at school now, so he needs to pull his finger out and earn more! As others have said, what's going on here?

Oh and you are deluded if you think all 'boomers' are rich and fortunate and have always had an easy life.

You can't just keep blaming 'boomers' for your life not being how you want it. You do sound very bitter. And you say your DH does most of the housework. Big deal. He should be doing it with being part time/earning a low wage.

@Zebedee999 · Today 13:11
For some reason Gen Z often blame Boomers for their financial woes. Why don't Gen Z live like most Boomers did when younger: no cars, no phones, no subscriptions, no eating out, no foreign holidays etc etc. Give up all that and they'll soon be much better off financially.

THIS! ^

Many Gen Z and Millennials moan and gripe that they are soooo poor and can't afford anything, but yeah, they do have a lot more luxuries than the babyboomers ever had.

My mum went back to work after 2 weeks in the early 80s. I kid you not. No decent maternity benefits so baby had to go to her mum whilst she took on some teaching. Honestly the fact women can take a whole year off now maternity leave is incredible.

Not at all, BeGoldHedgehog; it's quite right that folk should expect to live decently, but I guess it depends what that "certain standard" looks like, and more to the point when they expect to get it

We've all got to start somewhere and IME that's rarely at the top and with everything we want, no matter how much we might wish it was so

Sorry OP, but your current situation is due to lifestyle choices. Your husband does not want to do a more stressful job even though it pays much more and will not give him a pension because of stress, well tough, I have have mental health and am medicated, I had a full time job that could be stressful. To me he sounds lazy and entitled and I would say that if it was male or female.
Yes TA's do not get paid enough, but that is a different discussion, your husband has a degree and is capable if doing more. He chooses not too because he enjoys his current set up too much even working in a private school that pays less because he is happy. He needs to buck his ideas up I was a Lone parent with a mental health, I took promotion in order to pay my mortgage.
If you are happy to live like that, fine, but don't complain when it's your lifestyle choices. All I can see of him is me me me. I am not happy to do more, of course he is not. People are not even saying he should change proffesion, just re train to get a better standard of living. I would say the same to a woman in your position too if it was reversed you want a better standard of living you both work for it.

You can't compare "then" with "now".

My Grandad volunteered to fight in the 1st WW, came home and worked (hard, manual work) every day until 65, he died at 67.

My Grandparents had 6 kids - but buried 2 of them, 2yrs apart, as toddlers because they died of pneumonia (pre NHS, when you had to PAY for a doctor). Wearing hand-me-downs and 2nd hand shoes was commonplace. So was going to bed hungry some nights.

They and their 2 eldest sons always rented their homes, owning your own home was a pipe dream or for the rich.

There was literally nothing to pay for their funerals. The 2 younger sons (inc my dad), being better paid, paid for everything.

I wouldn't want to live their lives, but I'm grateful they did. I'm grateful that the country they fought for and paid taxes to means my DH and I can retire at 65/67.

Life shouldn't be that hard, then or now. It just is.

This. It's hard working and bringing up children, most of us have been there too and had our own worries and problems.

It's been different for different generations, but all this stuff gets stirred up by the media.

I am Boomer generation and I get sick of my Gen Z DS and his friends being criticised all the time for being lazy and useless when I know they're not.

You're angry about a circumstance you and your husband could change but are choosing not to.

The millenials in our family are all earning way more than their parents could ever dream of, all on the housing ladder, all living great lives.

All of this is actually does is distract from the real issues. Britain no longer makes much the rest of the world wants to buy. Successive governments have allowed the country to go on letting money flow out to other countries in foreign holidays, technology, even food. They've sold off water companies, electricity suppliers, everything they can until there is nothing left to sell. They've taken a good cut along the way. They've allowed housing costs to be pushed up by foreigners buying up property and then taking the profits abroad.

Now they want you to support taking money from pensioners because they have no idea how to fund the lifestyle you think you are entitled to.

The truth that no-one wants to face is that taxing wealth wont make much difference and will simply drive more wealth out of the country. As a country we have unsustainable lifestyles and that is not going to change.

Oh and my kid is doing fine - bigger income than parents, student debt paid off by parents and large deposit provided by parents. Not all people your age have problems.

Sorry, am on my phone thought I had used paragraphs.

It's the Groundhog Day topic of MN, in keeps appearing with tedious regularity and is just as boring as GD.

Totally agree with PPs saying the OP and her DH have chosen poorly paid jobs. As a "boomer", I can assure you that I chose based on money (banking) and not what I had any interest in at all and not what I was qualified for either. Needs must. Better that than moaning about how unfair life is. Life has never been fair, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you make happen.

We were informed of tis change years and years ago @StopStartStop

Some Waspis just chose to ignore the announcements.

There are thousands of women like me who heard of this decades back ad others who pretend they didnt.

But we didn't launch a protest group- we carried on working and adjusting our plans.

Yeah, mine wasn't quite so extreme, but I went back to work when mine were 9-10 weeks old. Only got 14 bloody weeks off for maternity leave. I broke up for the maternity leave 4-5 weeks before they we due. (Early 1990s.) I only got paid in full for the first 6 weeks too (two thirds pay for the last 8 weeks.)

Most women I know have a full YEAR off now, after having a baby. (Full pay for the first 6 months, then it drops to two thirds for the rest of the time. They pull some of their yearly holiday leave in too, to boost the pay for the second half of the year off. Weren't allowed to do that when I had mine!)

Yes, we shoudn't excpect it all straight away, but what we have is stagnation and things getting worse.

And you are the alright jacks smugly in the middle

All not having children

Cash in their pensions paid for off the backs is the young - that is how pensions work - are retired people to refuse the pension? - they paid for their parents' pensions! Will you refuse yours when the time comes because you don't want to take money that is being generated from young people's taxes?

If i don't need it then I won't refuse it, but I'll pass it on to my children.

My parents had a much more comfortable life as they got older but struggled when they were younger. It's been the same for me and I suspect it has been ever thus since the Industrial Revolution.
People who have worked for 30 odd years and paid into a pension and no longer have parental responsibility are going to be better off. The maths is not complicated.
I am very suspicious of this insidious creep to promote all "boomers' as fat cats. I suspect it's part of an agenda from the Behavioural Insights Team ( aka the nudge unit) to popularise increasing tax on pensioners even though they have all Pais their contributions during their working life.

Dh and I made a conscious decision for me to only have part time jobs which fitted easily around the dc. That meant financial restrictions for about 20 years, however I don’t regret it one bit, our children had a fantastic childhood and our family was less stressed due to me not working full time.

When dc went off to uni I then worked fulltime and we’ve poured money into the mortgage and pensions.

I think your family has the potential to do the renovations on your house, have extra money and go abroad on holiday and you’ve chosen not to, just like I did. You can’t really blame anyone else for that.

I got married in the early 80s.

I worked as a nurse and my husband in a factory. We both worked a mix of shifts.. days nights and weekends.

After our first baby I went back and did 2 split nights a week as we had no childcare. There was none then. I just came home twice a week and looked after a baby on my own. I had my second daughter and carried on until they were both at school

We had no money after the bills were paid and we were fed. My mum bought shoes for the kids and my MIL coats. We had no extras like meals out or takeaways and didn't holiday abroad til they were teenagers.

40 years on we are better off. My pension is rubbish as I worked part time for so many years. My husbands is better and we manage. We have a small semi but haven't been able to move.

I don't really see how this is easier than it is now.

Smug?

With a 15yo car on it's last? Yeah, well smug.

Just going to book a round the world cruise and order that Ferarri...

See, there we go again "selfish and entitled like the boomers". Who exactly are you talking about? I've worked full time for 43 years in very high stress jobs, been a single mother, and am still in it to build my DS's downpayment for his first house. He'll be the lucky one (and I'm glad - I've made it this way because I don't want him to struggle like I did, that is my number one priority in life). I'm sorry your parents haven't made the same provisions for you but you sound terribly entitled.