Generational wealth differences

[KeenGreen]

My first AIBU so let’s see what I’m in for!

First to make clear none of the problems now are the fault of previous generations. It is not a blame game!!

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

I am 38 I have worked since I was 16, lived independently since 17. Put myself through university all the way through to PhD. My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.
I work in a university and earn just under £50K before tax so our household income is probably about £65K not the lowest by any stretch but enough for us to struggle to balance costs. We claim child benefit but otherwise no extra help.
Husband only works term time of course, but that means he’s around for our child during holidays.

We have one DC age 5, and can’t afford any more.
Our closest family lives over 2 hours away, so we have no family support with childcare or help if there is a sick day or anything.

We have a mortgaged small semi detached 1930s house with 3 bedrooms, It needs a lot of work but we haven’t been able to do much because of time and money. Current mortgage fix ends in 2026 and I expect our mortgage repayments to go up by about 50% extra £300 a month.

We pay off student loans and my pension contributions are also high.
I took only 6 months maternity leave because I couldn’t afford to go to half pay for long and not into no pay at all.

My husband had virtually nothing in his workplace pension because of low earnings.
Mine is keep being devalued because of sector changes and it’s definitely not the best pension in education. (Teachers pensions are better).
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to try and live off my workplace pension alone and I would have to go all the way up to retirement age which I can’t imagine myself doing in a stressful job.

Retirement age for us is currently 68, that means we have 30 more years.
But with the way things are going I have no hope that there will be a state pension at all for us, or the age will be pushed even higher, so will probably be dead! Despite the fact I will have been paying in with tax national insurance for 50 plus years by that point.

I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector. Enjoy our jobs for the most part and find them fulfilling albeit stressful at times!

Like I said not about blaming previous generations for the picture we are in, but I don’t like the rhetoric of ‘well interest rates went up to 15% in my day’ etc when house prices were so much lower in proportion to wages and the cost of living right now and inflation over the last 10 years shows wages haven’t increased in line with this.

ps I know we are not the most hard done by! But still feel the pinch and we certain don’t live an extravagant lifestyle!

You can’t now. Things were set up for no phone or car back in the day. Now most people who don’t live in cities need both of those things - aknots everything is done online. You can’t compare life now to 40 years ago.

Deluded that she is deprived.

But you wouldn't have been forced to retire, you could have chosen to carry on working. It's so very odd that people have an issue with people feeling annoyed that they had to work 6 more years than was promised.

Well in many parts of the country that is not going to enable to get you a very lucrative job! Most job applications are online, meaning the internet. Not having a phone. Would actually increase the cost of living as so much is available and cheaper online. Banking etc is all online. Car insurance cheaper to sort online and that is just quickly off the top of my head!

"Take work within walking distance"

This is so out of touch

I don't go on Instagram worthy holidays. We can only afford modest UK holidays. I've never had any kind of cosmetic procedure. I made a point of seeking out as much second hand stuff as possible for the kids. Yet we still can't afford to live in a house where my kids have their own rooms, despite dh and I both working full time

I didn't suggest otherwise, @Feelinglikeamoan, and in fact referred to "some" just starting off rather than all, while also mentioning that ridiculous house prices are a major issue

Undoubtably there are folk who do everything right and still struggle, but my point that some fail to help themselves by wanting it all stands

Yes it's terrible that people expect to have a certain standard of living when both parents work fulltime, also both probably higher educated.

Unless someone lives in the centre of a city it’s a bit pie in the sky to think you can just decide to work a walk away.

I don't disagree with that. There was huge poverty in their childhoods, including rationing. By the time they had their own children, life had massively improved, especially affordable housing. People having families now are no where near that level of poverty.

But there's no denying that we can't afford what that generation could. People like me and the op have had to think about whether we can afford more than one child, and go back to work fulltime when our babies are not even a year old.

OP you are at the knackering/skint stage of life, things will gradually improve for you.

Unless your son is at the school your husband is at, and you’re also paying reduced rate private school fees, there’s a number of weeks per year where your husband is off and your child is at school. What is he doing in that time?

Have you tried? I've just taken a job with a four mile commute by car, 2.5 miles if I walk.

Being made redundant in my 60s I had to look at all possibilities.

Not out of touch at all.

Iam so sick of hearing this stuff and for the comments re maximising his potential earnings. People are doing as much as they can and it is not always about effort and making the'right choices'.Perhaps he can only do what he can,Perhaps Mumsnet need to fight for free public transport,a basic income and hubs for people to live in so the ghastly marriages that go on dont have to happen, so housing is not impossible for many not just the young.If trump and Musk are happening those things can happen too.But people have to work together whatever their age and younger women are quite fierce about slagging off older women who get a bad and unfair press anyway.The nastiness about Waspi has been depressing.Older people are ok as long as they slot into the role they are supposed to.Yeah right.
Having said thatI have no time for older people who slag off those wanting work/life balance or even wanting to work at all as many young people do not see any future..Some older people think its easy to get a job when it simply isnt.
But you must see that lazy ageism kind is divisive and nasty.Many older generations are helping with childcare and are far from rich.Older women who are alone suffer a lot.I appreciate the frustration but whatever the stats say they are selective and provocative and dont look at class.

Depends where you live. If you live in London, you don't need a car.

A smart phone is not expensive if you don't have the latest model. As to the plan you are on, you can call all mobiles in your cheap plan but have no much data. A friend who rarely uses her mobile pays 60 dollars every 3 months.

If people seriously want to save, there are many ways to do it.

And drop and collect your kids from school: childcare? That also must be walking distance. Making sure the job maximises earning potential?

It's so very odd that people have an issue with people feeling annoyed that they had to work 6 more years than was promised.

You're welcome to feel annoyed but surely you can understand that in a thread about generational wealth differences complaining about losing a benefit that the younger generations wouldn't dream of is not going to garner much sympathy. It would be like me, who paid £3k a year for uni, expecting sympathy from current students. I'd fully expect them to tell me to bugger off.

My DC have made good decisions

Surely most of their good fortune has been due to parental help with education costs & house deposits?

I’m not really sure I understand the point of your thread. Some people in previous generations struggled, some didn’t. Some people lost their homes and businesses during the 70’s and early 80’s financial crises, some didn’t.

The same as today. Some people struggle, some don’t. The 2006-8 financial crash hurt a lot of people. Also, for a lot of people, it had no impact at all. Same with today, the cost of living is hurting some people more than others.

It is the same for all generations.

I’m the same generation as you and I am doing much better than my parents were at my age. But less well off than my in-laws were at my age.

Your struggles are due to both you and your DH choosing famously underpaid careers. Despite your wealth of education. When me and my DH graduated, we both very consciously chose high-earning careers. Going into academia or teaching was never a consideration as we both wanted to earn well and there’s no money in that.

You are fortunate in that you had an excellent education. You chose the life you lead now. Many are less fortunate and didn’t have the options that you clearly had.

House prices have gone up massively compared to earnings. When my parents bought a house, their household income was roughly equivalent to £50 000 today. To buy the same house today and be in the same financial position as them (income compared to house price) you would need to have a household income of £200 000.

I really wish people would stop declaring that 'there will soon be no state pension.' It isn't possible for a government to just suddenly switch from you need x years of NI contributions to get a state pension to absolutely nothing overnight. Yes there might be changes in age for receiving a pension or number of contributing years but you can't suddenly remove it altogether. I would be the end of any government that tried- far worse than the poll tax!

Me and DH were in very similar situation to you at a similar stage in life (he was higher earner though). I'm now I'm my 50s. Life sounds fairly similar to what we experienced except I would never have claimed to not be able to afford a second child. Tax credits did help with that, but we'd still have managed without them. We didn't have extravagant lifestyle. We made sure we remortgaged before going onto variable rate.
We're much better off now, so you might look at us and think we have it much easier.

Go onto your state pension summary...

It states this
Your forecast

• is not a guarantee and is based on the current law
• does not include any increase due to inflation

Some people have something called empathy, and realise that it isn't a competition. Crazy i know! I can well see how people feel screwed over by the waspi stuff even though it didn't affect me.

Those saying the husband needs to earn more, maybe but then childcare costs may need to be factored in more. It’s always a balance.