Generational wealth differences

[KeenGreen]

My first AIBU so let’s see what I’m in for!

First to make clear none of the problems now are the fault of previous generations. It is not a blame game!!

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

I am 38 I have worked since I was 16, lived independently since 17. Put myself through university all the way through to PhD. My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.
I work in a university and earn just under £50K before tax so our household income is probably about £65K not the lowest by any stretch but enough for us to struggle to balance costs. We claim child benefit but otherwise no extra help.
Husband only works term time of course, but that means he’s around for our child during holidays.

We have one DC age 5, and can’t afford any more.
Our closest family lives over 2 hours away, so we have no family support with childcare or help if there is a sick day or anything.

We have a mortgaged small semi detached 1930s house with 3 bedrooms, It needs a lot of work but we haven’t been able to do much because of time and money. Current mortgage fix ends in 2026 and I expect our mortgage repayments to go up by about 50% extra £300 a month.

We pay off student loans and my pension contributions are also high.
I took only 6 months maternity leave because I couldn’t afford to go to half pay for long and not into no pay at all.

My husband had virtually nothing in his workplace pension because of low earnings.
Mine is keep being devalued because of sector changes and it’s definitely not the best pension in education. (Teachers pensions are better).
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to try and live off my workplace pension alone and I would have to go all the way up to retirement age which I can’t imagine myself doing in a stressful job.

Retirement age for us is currently 68, that means we have 30 more years.
But with the way things are going I have no hope that there will be a state pension at all for us, or the age will be pushed even higher, so will probably be dead! Despite the fact I will have been paying in with tax national insurance for 50 plus years by that point.

I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector. Enjoy our jobs for the most part and find them fulfilling albeit stressful at times!

Like I said not about blaming previous generations for the picture we are in, but I don’t like the rhetoric of ‘well interest rates went up to 15% in my day’ etc when house prices were so much lower in proportion to wages and the cost of living right now and inflation over the last 10 years shows wages haven’t increased in line with this.

ps I know we are not the most hard done by! But still feel the pinch and we certain don’t live an extravagant lifestyle!

You are not being unreasonable in principle however neither of you have maximised your earning potential

Edit. Half asleep. Ignore.

I don’t think anyone thinks or says that young families have it easy these days. No one! However, your husband’s wages are pretty low no matter how you look at it. Could he retrain to be a teacher?

All the evidence says that there are poor people and rich people in each generation to pretty much the same degree - there are a lot of pensioners on benefits and it's generally accepted that many more could be but won't claim

Which makes it clear that lithe idea of inter generational wealth is being used to stir up hate

Your husband earns very little
Couldn’t he go for more, even within a school environment?

If your husband has a degree could he not train to be a teacher? Would pay a bit better, have a teachers pension and would still get the holidays off?

I'm gen x . I think every generation has had problems. Every individual has done things differently.
I had kids too young and have stuck myself in a cycle of low wages. If I hadn't known it all at 16 I might be in a better financial position now. 68 retirement age for us too but I can't see it happening.
You can put more into pensions or try overpaying your mortgage.
I hope your dh pulls his weight around the house and with DC.

Why can’t your DH earn more? That’s a very low wage

YANBU

Why hasnt your husbands career started?

What the story there?

You've chosen for your family to have one parent earning very low wages. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not a surprise that you're struggling to balance the books?

I do think there are differences between the generations but both of you seem to have sleep-walked through your lives with no real eye on wealth creation. To then look back and complain that life isn't easy and lay that at the feet of the generational divide is a bit passive.

I agree that you’re not maximising your earning potential. Why is your husband earning so little? He has a degree. A full time NMW job would bring in more. You can’t really complain about not having enough when your husband could double his salary pretty easily. The fact is some things are expensive, we’re not entitled to everything we want. I’ve made a choice to live in a flat, I’d love a house but if I bought one I wouldn’t be able to afford holidays or to save. So I haven’t moved. You have a three bedroom house, you only need two bedrooms.
I grew up with ‘boomer’ parents, they struggled in the 80s, we went on caravan holidays, at Christmas one child got a ‘big’ present and we accepted this. I do not begrudge them the money they now have.

I think one of the key differences is definitely property prices and rents that make it so much harder for younger generation than it was for mine. Definitely the ratio of net wages to rent/mortgage is massively different now and very tough indeed.

I think there is little value in making these divides between age groups. We need to pull together to make life good for all. (Eg Politics, help own families, volunteer)

One of the explanations why older people sometimes seem less sympathetic I think is that it obviously is to do with choices too OP as many of us older people didn’t even get chance of higher education but you have been able to enjoy studying to an extremely high level which meant you had to earn less in those years and pay fees, so that is a big difference. Also many of the older generation have never travelled or had gap years which also cost money. We were saving up.

To ease finances could you move nearer family, get a lodger, take in foreign students in holidays or could your husband be a tutor, teacher, holiday club leader if your child can go?

I do sympathise I think life can be very hard nowadays. Good luck OP.

I see a lot online about how this generation should be more frugal, people expect too much etc, but I never come across this attitude in real life.
With your particularl circumstances it sounds like you’ve made the decision for dh to take a low paid, less stressful job and be more available for your daughter in the holiday. That’s okay, we have made similar choices, but when it comes to it, you have to recognize that you’ve prioritized other factors over money and therefore will have less.

I think there is a portion of society that had relatively cheap essentials and expensive luxuries. Now we have expensive essentials and cheap luxuries.

They see so many young people "frittering away" all their money on luxuries like takeaway coffees, avocado on toast and Netflix. The thing is that the "luxuries" aren't where the money goes - the essentials (food, education, housing, bills, childcare) are now so much more expensive relative to income and splurging £3 on a coffee once a week isn't why people can't save money. It is the crippling rent, childcare fees, student loans and bills that are the problem.

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

Who is saying this though? The only people I've heard say it are people moaning about people saying it. It's probably equally as ridiculous, untrue and annoying as people stating all 'boomers' (eurgh) are rich, when many aren't. Sure, some bad better opportunities, some didn't.

I largely agree. I lived independently from 16 and bought my first house at 21. My degree only created debt as I went on extra holidays. It was soon repayed. My house is now worth ten times your salary but was fine for a teacher to buy when I had young children. Some neighbours were hair dressers and drivers - again not anymore. The most recent were a barrister and an architect. But there is an obvious area to change and that is your husband’s job… it’s not financially viable and he can work in education and earn much more. I think the generations behind you are more screwed. I imagine my kids will be at home for years. For my parents and I laws the effect is greater and I don’t think my wealthy in-laws have much appreciation of how it is for the young today. My eldest a bright and academically clever child has eschewed uni as he doesn’t want the debt and can’t see it helping him earn much more in the area he wants to work in so the consequences of the changes can be seen in lots of ways. I think the gap between kids like mine who have a big family home to stay in and ones without that and no inheritance - I am selling and sharing or transferring this over when I retire - will be huge. The gap between them and the truly wealthy obscene

Your partner has all holidays off, that's time he could work on the house. He's got a degree and is doing a job below his capabilities so should have energy at the end of the day to get another job or do renovations. Yabu.

The cost of living is one of the most shocking things about modern British society. Rampant immigration and population growth over the past 28 years has put huge strain on housing and kept wages artificially low. All so that those at the top can cream off more and line their pockets ever more. It doesn't have to be like this.

While there may be some truth to your point in a wider context it’s not relevant to your specific situation because neither of you are maximising your earning potential which I assume is the point of your post - to stir the pot. If this is true, which I doubt, then your situation is nothing to do with generational wealth it’s to do with your own laziness. 50k with a phd is pretty poor. Your DH obviously needs to get a full time proper job that capitalises on his degree.

Is 39 - the 'young today'? I absolutely agree that the cards are totally stacked against people starting out on their adult lives today.

I agree 💯 with this.
Instead of blaming economic policies or various government failures, just blame a previous generation., as if they had a hive mind. It's easy, it's lazy and doesn't solve problems.

Well the issue here is that your DH works part time hours and term time only in a job that doesn’t really require a degree. Why didn’t he train to be a teacher and then he could be on a similar income to you and still have the holiday off? You’d have a household income of £90k+ then.

My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.

Which is presumably his choice? Nearly every other job out there is better paid.

Yes in many ways it was easier for the “boomer” generation- no university fees and coming out with £££££ of debt, house prices v wages were much more affordable. On the flip side I do think on the whole today’s young adults (by that I mean 40ish and under) in general expect a higher standard of living that they’re not prepared to forgo - eg nice holidays, regular meals out etc. For reference I’m late gen X so somewhere in between.

In terms of your personal situation it doesn’t make sense for your husband to be working in a very low paid job as a TA/LSA. Yes he is around for school holidays but other than that there are few benefits and the downsides are little/no career progression, low pay and hardly any pension being built. He has a degree, if you’re concerned about present and future finances then he needs to look at a different career with better earning potential.