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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I found a lump and DP left me

43 replies

Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:31

I went to GP yesterday who has referred for further tests.
DP helped me bring all my things home from his today and left. I’ve since blocked him. I’m so angry and disgusted in him.
He’s not been himself the last few weeks, probably an affair. He said we were “always arguing.” He was creating arguments clearly to leave. The lump just brought things to a head as I demanded to know if he wanted to still be with me and he replied I don’t know. That’s all I needed to hear to know it’s done.
6 and a half years of his shit to be treated like this.

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 20:36

Op that’s horrible I hope it’s nothing serious sometimes it can be nothing but the worry of it is enough to deal with. what a wanker he obviously wanted an excuse to go shitty behaviour from him. I wish you well.

Ankhmo · 22/02/2025 20:38

Why did you put up with 'shit' for 6 and a half years?

6 and a half minutes is 6 and a half minutes too long to tolerate some wanker being a cunt.

🤪

Focus on yourself, one lump is gone no sort the other.

BCBird · 22/02/2025 20:38

Fingers crossed it's nothing serious. Draw on support of friends and family. Don't let that asshole back.in

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 22/02/2025 20:38

Trash took itself out.

Seriously, focus on yourself and your health. Don’t give that loser another thought.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 22/02/2025 20:42

Agree the trash took itself out. You're probably right, he was starting arguments as he wanted an out. He's the wanker anyway, no balls to just be honest.

Op, I'm sorry you're going through this and you must be terrified. You've done the right thing by going to the GP and they're gonna get you sorted ❤️

Please keep us updated - yanbu at all to be angry and disgusted by him. But you're free from him now and you've got the knowledge to never go back there again xx

Original poster
Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:42

Ankhmo · 22/02/2025 20:38

Why did you put up with 'shit' for 6 and a half years?

6 and a half minutes is 6 and a half minutes too long to tolerate some wanker being a cunt.

🤪

Focus on yourself, one lump is gone no sort the other.

Because I thought we were in love but he only loves himself.

OP posts:
AgnesX · 22/02/2025 20:44

What a horrible situation to find yourself in.

💐

Original poster
Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:45

They said it’ll be 2-3 weeks, not sure if that’s for a date or that’s when I get the letter and it’ll be more weeks after that.

He said he wanted to stay friends and still support me. I told him where he could stick his friendship.

OP posts:
Ankhmo · 22/02/2025 20:46

Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:42

Because I thought we were in love but he only loves himself.

Show quote history

Love yourself enough to not tolerate any more shit in future. 👍🏻

Original poster
Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:46

Ankhmo · 22/02/2025 20:46

Love yourself enough to not tolerate any more shit in future. 👍🏻

Show quote history

True but easier said than done

OP posts:
greengreyblue · 22/02/2025 20:46

Focus on this health issue. I’ve had several lumps, all benign but the worry is horrible. He’s shown you who he is so believe him. Take care and good luck .
It will be 2 weeks until your appointment and you should find out / have tests on the day.

Original poster
Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:47

greengreyblue · 22/02/2025 20:46

Focus on this health issue. I’ve had several lumps, all benign but the worry is horrible. He’s shown you who he is so believe him. Take care and good luck .
It will be 2 weeks until your appointment and you should find out / have tests on the day.

Edited

Thanks that’s reassuring

OP posts:
Original poster
Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:48

It’s really painful so I’m taking that as a good sign that it’s an infection or something

OP posts:
Semiramide · 22/02/2025 20:50

Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:46

True but easier said than done

Show quote history

It takes some initial courage but you'll find tgat you will feel so much better, stronger and in control of your life.

I hope your health issues resolve themselves.

BunnyLake · 22/02/2025 20:53

Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:46

True but easier said than done

Show quote history

Why were you in love?

I hope everything turns out ok 🤞

Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 20:55

Agree with other poster tests usually all done on the day and results given same day. Unless a biopsy is done. In the past I’ve had a mammogram and ultrasound and depending on your hospital you only usually wait two weeks from the dr referral and it feels longer due to the worry.

NameChanges123 · 22/02/2025 20:56

Awwww, I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you... xx

Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 20:57

Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 20:55

Agree with other poster tests usually all done on the day and results given same day. Unless a biopsy is done. In the past I’ve had a mammogram and ultrasound and depending on your hospital you only usually wait two weeks from the dr referral and it feels longer due to the worry.

Also forgot to say they might call you so don’t ignore any withheld calls.

Confusedmeanderings · 22/02/2025 20:58

As other posters have said, it should be 2 weeks to the appointment and you'll know on the day. I hope all goes well for you. Just focus on yourself and what you need - you deserve it.

Original poster
Loomy · 22/02/2025 21:05

Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 20:57

Also forgot to say they might call you so don’t ignore any withheld calls.

Show quote history

Thanks that’s a good reminder as I would assume ex and ignore but now I wont

OP posts:
Original poster
Loomy · 22/02/2025 21:06

BunnyLake · 22/02/2025 20:53

Why were you in love?

I hope everything turns out ok 🤞

Show quote history

I meant more about letting my guard down and not quitting at first sign of trouble only to then have someone do this to me

OP posts:
Tortielady · 22/02/2025 21:08

Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:45

They said it’ll be 2-3 weeks, not sure if that’s for a date or that’s when I get the letter and it’ll be more weeks after that.

He said he wanted to stay friends and still support me. I told him where he could stick his friendship.

You did right. What would be the odds that he wants to keep his options open in case things aren't too bad? If he's not with you for the nasty stuff, he has no claim on you at all. I did it; I helped my husband with his cancer treatment and it didn't cross my mind to begrudge him my efforts. I know that if our roles were reversed, he'd do everything he could to look after me. It's what you do and if you don't - for whatever reason - you can't have expectations of the person you abandon.

Eldermilleniallyogii · 22/02/2025 21:09

I hope you're okay but it sounds like he didn't leave because of the lump. It sounds like things haven't been right for a while and it's probably a good thing he's gone now although it is but and I really hope the lump is nothing serious.

Londontown12 · 22/02/2025 21:17

I have had 2 lumps first one seemed fix got 2 week fast track to breast clinic
when u get there dr looks at it
then u have mammogram
then ultrasound both times mine were fluid filled cysts and they just drained them it’s painless (my 1st lump no pain 2 nd lump painful )
its such a worry !!! Concentrate on looking after and being kind to yourself forget the man he isn’t worth your head space
All the best return with update x x x x

SnoopySantaPaws · 22/02/2025 21:19

I'm really sorry that you found these lumps, but yes, as they hurt I'd be taking that as good sign and around here they have been much quicker than two weeks for the last year or so so don't be alarmed if you get called much faster!!

as for DP, I'm sorry it's over after 6 1/2 years together, but I actually think it's a good thing he's gone now and you know where you stand. Worrying about it all when he's unhappy is very stressful and requires a lot of your energy!

Little word of advice for what it's worth, shout cry do what you need to over the weekend then really start to get on your own 2 feet and look forward warning the loss of our relationship doesn't do any good and only waste more of your life!!

Take care of yourself xx